100 Pedals

Recovery for Parents Dealing with Addiction in their Families

## Changing Your Mind

July 25, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” ~ Albert Einstein

In last week’s post I shared my struggles with attitude. The shift I effectively made occurred as I was watching golfer Darren Clarke celebrate his British Open victory. For me, the week transformed from a challenge to improve my attitude and perspective to a celebration of fulfillment and accomplishment. Quite frankly, I had a pretty good week. And, as I pressed to do those things that needed to do to accomplish my goals and be successful on my journey, I found my outcomes and my attitude improved significantly.

When I stumbled upon this quote by Albert Einstein, I am reminded of the quote I shared last week: “If you don’t like something, change your mind.” I couldn’t help but revisit it again.

When we stand in the middle of our issue and the problems we see – whether real or created – it is impossible to solve them without changing our mind or our perspective first. When we see or discover a problem, it is the awareness of the problem that is our focus. Depending on the issue, there may be more than simple awareness. There may be an emotional burden, as well. For example, despite the best of intentions my thoughts about Brandon’s situation always hit me in my heart and my gut as I ponder his situation. I cannot think about Brandon or his problems without first experiencing the emotional pain of his situation. It is impossible or improbable for me to clearly define a course of action for my life and my relationship with Brandon from this emotionally troubled state. I need to change my mental environment first.

Like Einstein says, I cannot create a solution from that same state of emotional consciousness. Instead, I need to change my mind. This means that as I begin to explore solutions to the challenges that I face, I need to begin to focus more logically and intentionally on the mission, the vision, and the goal at hand. I cannot get mired I the problem, I need to zero in on the purpose and the promise of the solution. In Brandon’s case, I start out with the vision of who I am, my commitment to loving him without enabling him, and my faith that my logic and my thinking will provide me with the best course of action in response to his challenges. Bringing mental clarity to my challenges empowers me to be more creative, more strategic, and certainly, more focused on my decisions.

When faced with adversity, the solution is not found in the emotional presence of the challenge. It is found in the focused efforts of your vision, mission, and commitment to your journey. The trick is to be able to change your perspective from awareness to strategist. While not always easy – all you need to do is change your mind.

Filed Under: Focusing On Your Vision, Maintaining Focus, Uncategorized

## Attitude Defines Everything

July 18, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Don’t let your golf game determine your attitude, let your attitude determine your golf game.” ~ Ken Brown (former pro golfer)

I would be lying if I told you that the past few weeks have been a challenge for me. Some personal events have knocked me into a bit of a funk that I have been wrestling to get through with my confidence intact. As I watched Darren Clarke celebrate his 2011 British Open Championship and heard this quote during his celebration, I was reminded that much of what I had learned and experienced and shared the past few months.

Life’s events do not determine our attitude, our attitude defines life’s events.

This is a story of a man at age 42, with young boys 10 and 12, who lost his first wife to cancer six years ago. This was his 20th major championship appearance and his first major victory. The whole time he was on the course, he focused on enjoying the journey and appreciated the people who were celebrating with him and for him. He has always been a positive and likable person. He took six weeks off from golf to focus on taking care of his children after his wife passed away. And, here he is a champion – both on the course and off. Life’s events did not define his life; his attitude defined its direction.

Even though I am feeling the pressure, disappointment, and pain of Brandon’s recent setbacks, I have to focus on my attitude first. I have learned a lot the past few months. Business is improving significantly. I can see and feel the connection I am making through, with and for others through the 100 Pedals experience. That Brandon didn’t succeed on his journey does not prevent me from continuing and succeeding on mine. Despite the frustration of the negative events, I have the ability, through my attitude to maintain progress and accomplish those things that I have made a significant commitment to. The events that occur in life do not define me, through my attitude I define the outcomes in my life.

Keep on marching with force, purpose and faith!

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Live With Passion, Living Your Purpose, Maintaining Focus, Uncategorized

## It is a Matter of Perspective

July 11, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Life is either a hell of a ride or a ride to hell. I’m done with the ride to hell.” ~ Rob McGovern

It is a matter of perspective. Stuff either happens to you or things just happen. You decide. Life, by its nature, is filled with adventure. Adventures are only really exciting after you have survived them and have an opportunity to reflect on your accomplishment in getting through them. It is then you can look back with a wry smile and say, I certainly survived a close one. That is one hell of a ride.

Or, you can look at the series of challenges that you face as some sort of gauntlet you are forced to get through to find joy and peace at the other side. Everytime you think you are clear of life’s pitfalls another steps up and hits you in the face. People in this scenario can be heard saying, “I feel like I have been to hell and back.” Or, in the case of this quote, I have been on the ride to hell.

Your journey is your journey. It is not something that is happening to you as some form of a curse, or a test of will, or a measure of your ability to overcome; no, your journey is what it is so that you can learn from the experiences in your life as you continually evolve and grow. It is not a survival test. It is an adventurous nature hike designed to introduce you to ideas, opportunities, and solutions you never would have thought possible had you not taken the path you are on.

Your journey is not a ride to or from hell, it is a hell of a ride. It is the most intense roller coaster you could have ever imagined. It keeps your heart pumping, your emotions on high alert, and your brain waves in high gear. Every single emotion is touched, exposed, and stimulated. When the adventure is over, you can look back at the experience at all you have learned and accomplished. And, with that knowledge and awareness, you can appreciate your lessons and share the wisdom of them with others. What a gift.

Your situation is a matter of perspective. You can see the agony, the frustration, the annoyance, and the pain of your journey as a ride to hell. Or, you can enjoy one hell of a ride and embrace the emotions, the experiences, and the incredible lessons as one incredible journey. My journey has not been easy, it has not been fun, and it has not always been enjoyable — but its mine. And, I am all the better for it and for all I have learned in it. Enjoy the ride!

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Learning From Experience, Uncategorized

## Mourning the Loss of Normalcy

July 6, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“For years I have been mourning and not for my dead, it is for this boy for whatever corner in my heart died when his childhood slid out of my arms.” ~ William Gibson

When I immersed myself in therapy years ago, I learned the process of discovery, realization, mourning, and moving on. In evaluating the different relationships and experiences in my life, I learned how to accept the reality of certain situations, mourn their abnormality, and then create an opening to move on with my life.

Writing this post today, I am in the anger stage. I know that anger was not listed in the process per se. However, my anger is a form of mourning. Over the past couple of weeks, I have started to come to grips with the fact that my relationship with Brandon, will never be the father-son relationship I committed it would be. And, I am pissed about it.

I have made a significant, conscious, unrelenting commitment to my children that, as their father, I would unconditionally love, support and be there for them. And, while I enjoy and cherish all the cool things I have with two of my kids, I cannot help but feel the disappointment, the loss, and the abnormality of the third relationship. Because it is not normal, I am angry about it.

I never really appreciated my mother-in-laws emotions when we would start to pack up the car and head back to Michigan from New Jersey after a week’s visit. She would spend weeks planning our visit and would be in tears as we headed up the driveway. While we always don’t get to see much of our children, they are always in our heart and our thoughts. When they are around, there is this awesome energy seeing them be who they are and see them grow and develop. And, although we raise them to become independent, inspiring people, it crushes us when they are not around.

If only it were that exciting and rewarding in Brandon’s world. There is nothing normal or fun or inspiring about his growth and development. His life is a series of missteps, betrayal, hurt, and underdevelopment – not much to celebrate. And, when he is present we are hopeful for his progress and enjoy his being around –under certain circumstances – there is that guarded feeling that this could be a hoax, a temporary situation, or the last time we see him.

I am grateful for all my experiences. I am even more grateful for the gifts I have received through and with my children. I am hopeful that each of them discovers and celebrates all those components in their life they desire. I am also disappointed, a bit angry, and very burdened by the pain Brandon has gone through, that he has caused, and the challenges it has put on our relationship. Finally, I am grateful for the experience and the lessons of 100 Pedals. Were it not for that exercise, I would not be in the mental and emotional condition to be strong through this stuff. The mission was to be strong for Brandon when he is present and even stronger for myself when he is not. I look forward to the opportunity to share with Brandon my strength – I simply wish the situation were so much different at this point.

Filed Under: Giving Love, Learning From Experience, Uncategorized

## Celebrating You!

July 1, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“A celebration is a moment of reflection on our journey to acknowledge all we have discovered, learned, and done so far.”

The Fourth of July Weekend is upon us. For many of us it is an opportunity to take a three or four day break from the routine and do something special. Why not? We have earned it. This weekend is also a time to remember and celebrate the freedoms that we do have as a result of the actions taken by others. Like its citizens, our nation is on its own journey – it has accomplished a great deal in nearly 250 years and it has some serious and challenging days ahead of it. This weekend is a great opportunity for all of us to make sure we celebrate and appreciate all we have learned, all we have discovered and all that we have accomplished – for on Tuesday, there is work to be done.

Over the first half of this year, the greatest discovery I have made in my life – for my life – is that I have an opportunity to celebrate every single day. And, it is the celebrations of something every single day that provides me the strength and the energy to deal with the crap that I would rather not see in my life ever. Sometimes these celebrations are little things, sometimes they are major breakthroughs, sometimes they would seem insignificant to someone else but it is special to you. Regardless, they are celebrations and they guarantee us something positive about our lives every single day!

First thing I do when I get up in the morning is make my bed! No big deal to you, huge to me. I haven’t made my bed in thirty years. I start my day with an organization accomplishment – a celebration of sorts. I write something every single morning before I leave the house. I challenge myself to put a thought to paper and develop it. Again, another mental accomplishment and an opportunity to celebrate. Every single day, I make time for myself. It may be thirty minutes or two hours – it doesn’t matter. I simply make sure that I have some time to be on my own without any expectation that I do anything – it is me time and another opportunity to reflect, celebrate and enjoy. I could go on, but I am hoping you get the point.

We all have opportunities to find, create, develop, explore, discover, or enjoy all the cool things that we accomplish every single day. The trick is to take a moment to acknowledge them and appreciate them for what they are. Otherwise, your world will is a grey mass of life – there is no energy in those clouds. Make time for a holiday celebration every single day – you will be happy you did!

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Inspirational Perspectives, Uncategorized