100 Pedals

Recovery for Parents Dealing with Addiction in their Families

## Never Lose Hope - Incredible, Miraculous Recoveries Can and Do Happen

March 12, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment
http://traffic.libsyn.com/theaddictionconversation/Jack_Kelly.mp3

Today’s podcast features an incredible, if not improbable story. At 22, Jack Kelly was homeless, living on the streets, and addicted to heroin. Having lost everything that was important to him – his family, his athletic prowess, his dreams – all he had left was his addiction.

Even though they don’t have to, too many stories end here. Fortunately, for us and for Jack this story demonstrates that recovery is possible. That hope is not wasted. And, those who find their recovery are capable of incredible, successful life outcomes.

When you listen to this podcast, you will hear how Jack found his recovery, turned his life around while living and celebrating an accomplished, exciting life – running for office in his hometown of Boston, working for and mingling with community leaders, and even developing the IRecover App to help those in recovery connect with others in the same situation. Never lose hope, never give up – it possible. Jack is proof amazing recovery stories can and do happen!

Links of Interest:

Twitter: @Jack Kelly111

Facebook: Jack Kelly

IRecoverApp

Jack’s Story

Filed Under: featured, Uncategorized Tagged With: addiction, addiction conversation, IRecover App, Jack Kelly, recovery

## Never Lose Hope - Incredible, Miraculous Recoveries Can and Do Happen

March 11, 2025 by Dave Cooke

Today’s podcast features an incredible, if not improbable story. At 22, Jack Kelly was homeless, living on the streets, and addicted to heroin. Having lost everything that was important to him – his family, his athletic prowess, his dreams – all he had left was his addiction.

Even though they don’t have to, too many stories end here. Fortunately, for us and for Jack this story demonstrates that recovery is possible. That hope is not wasted. And, those who find their recovery are capable of incredible, successful life outcomes.

When you listen to this podcast, you will hear how Jack found his recovery, turned his life around while living and celebrating an accomplished, exciting life – running for office in his hometown of Boston, working for and mingling with community leaders, and even developing an App to help those in recovery connect with others in the same situation. Never lose hope, never give up – it possible. Jack is proof amazing recovery stories can and do happen!

Links of Interest:

Twitter: @Jack Kelly111

Facebook: Jack Kelly

IRecoverApp

Jack’s Story

Check out this episode!

Filed Under: Addiction Conversation Podcast

## Stepping Off the Emotional Rollercoaster

March 9, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

One day several years ago, as I began my morning bike ride, I got a weird feeling about my son, Brandon, who was living with me at the time. You know what I’m talking about. That subconscious “oh-no” feeling when something doesn’t feel quite right.

But Brandon had been doing really well in recovery, so I brushed it off and continued my ride. Yet the urge to turn back wouldn’t go away. Instead of stopping, I prayed, “I’m putting Brandon in Your hands.”

Unfortunately, when I returned I discovered why I felt so troubled. After twenty-one days Brandon had relapsed, stolen my bank card, withdrawn money, taken the car, driven to a drug dealer, and bought heroin. Then he returned to the house, replaced the card, and left for the gym to shoot up.

At that moment my happy, hopeful world came crashing down. I was bombarded with feelings of failure, deception, and betrayal. I told him to move out. I just couldn’t handle it anymore.

Even so, I kept wondering how something like this could have happened. What had he been thinking? He seemed to be doing well. Why didn’t he tell me he needed me? I would have delayed or skipped my ride if he had asked. Why hadn’t he phoned his sponsor instead of his dealer? These questions and a thousand more raced through my mind.

Once again, Brandon had jerked my emotions up and down, from joy to despair, from celebrating the best days we’d had in a long time to mourning, pain, loss, and grief. Still, I blamed myself. I should have stayed. I should have listened to my instincts. I should have paid extra attention to him.

Now I know better. The fault wasn’t mine. Brandon was old enough to take responsibility for his actions. That was his job. Not mine.

Since then I’ve learned how to take better care of “me.” I’ve learned how to self-differentiate and set firm boundaries. I’ve stepped off the emotional rollercoaster of codependency.

As the parents of addicts, we all have to do this at some point. It’s not easy. But it’s the only healthy way to help our kids.

I know that now, and I’m at peace with it.

********

Is your child addicted to drugs or alcohol? Do you feel trapped on an emotional rollercoaster? I can help. I’ve been there. I’ve experienced your pain, anguish and despair. That’s why I offer private Parent Coaching by phone ($55.00 per hour). I’ve developed a 7-step strategy that helps my clients regain their emotional balance, so they can move forward again and help their kids in healthy ways. To set up an appointment, call Dave Cooke 586-201-9057 or email email Dave today. You and your child are worth it!

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter for the parents of children addicted to drugs/alcohol and weekly blog post notifications, email Dave.

Filed Under: Addiction, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Uncategorized Tagged With: addiction, finding peace, parenting and addiciton

## Addiction and Parenting - Sometimes you have to get out of the box

March 5, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment
http://traffic.libsyn.com/theaddictionconversation/Gerry_Standard.mp3

When it comes to parenting and addiction, “sometimes you have to think out of the box.” Today’s conversation features the story of a mom, Gerry Standard, who found herself at a point of desperation. She didn’t know what else to and decided to trust her instincts and her research and do something different. Her “different” was Ibogaine and her experience began over six years ago.

We talked about Ibogaine with the staff at Crossroads, Inc. on a previous conversation. In that conversation, the team shared wonderful insights and opportunities for the Ibogaine approach.

It was quite interesting and compelling to hear the personal story of a family’s direct experience with Ibogaine*. Since her daughter’s Ibogain treatment* six years ago, she has been clean the entire time and has made great progress in reclaiming her life.

Those who listen to this podcast will again discover that Ibogaine is only part of the recovery process. Aftercare is also the other critical component; plus, a willingness to all members of the family in recognizing responsibility for making changes in their own life as part of the recovery process.

If you have not listened to the podcast on Ibogaine, I would encourage you to listen to it as part of the educational process. Gerry shares and supports much of what is presented in the Ibogaine podcast; but, it is even more impactful when listened to in conjunction with the previous Ibogaine conversation.

Gerry also shares her Ten Rules for Dealing with your Addicted Child.

*Note: Please do not confuse Gerry’s experiences with Ibogaine as an endorsement of the work being conducted at Crossroads, Inc. These are separate conversations and are not to be construed as related or a direct endorsement of the program at Crossroads.

Links:

Addiction Conversation: The Ibogaine Process

Ten Rules for Dealing with Your Addicted Child

Filed Under: featured, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Uncategorized Tagged With: addiction, addiction treatment, Ibogaine, parenting, parenting and recovery

## Addiction and Parenting - Sometimes you have to get out of the box

March 4, 2025 by Dave Cooke

When it comes to parenting and addiction, “sometimes you have to think out of the box.” Today’s conversation features the story of a mom, Gerry Standard, who found herself at a point of desperation. She didn’t know what else to and decided to trust her instincts and her research and do something different. Her “different” was Ibogaine and her experience began over six years ago.

W e talked about Ibogaine with the staff at Crossroads, Inc. on a previous conversation. The team shared wonderful insights and opportunities for the Ibogaine approach.

It was quite interesting and compelling to hear the personal story of a family’s direct experience with Ibogaine*. Since her daughter’s Ibogain treatment* six years ago, she has been clean the entire time and has made great progress in reclaiming her life.

Those who listen to this podcast will again discover that Ibogaine is only part of the recovery process. Aftercare is also the other critical component; plus, a willingness to all members of the family in recognizing responsibility for making changes in their own life as part of the recovery process.

If you have not listened to the podcast on Ibogaine, I would encourage you to listen to it as part of the educational process. Gerry shares and supports much of what is presented in the Ibogaine podcast; but, it is even more impactful when listened to in conjunction with the previous Ibogaine conversation.

Gerry also shares her 10 Rules for Dealing with Your Addicted Child.

*Note: Please do not confuse Gerry’s experiences with Ibogaine as an endorsement of the work being conducted at Crossroads, Inc.These are separate conversations and are not to be construed as related or a direct endorsement of the program at Crossroads.

Links:

Addiction Conversation: The Ibogaine Process

Ten Rules for Dealing with Your Addicted Child

Check out this episode!

Filed Under: Addiction Conversation Podcast

## The Addiction Community - On Support, Stigma, Suggestions

March 2, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

Addiction is not simply a media buzzword, it is a serious societal disease. Addiction is misunderstood, often ignored, seriously under treated, and is killing our children.

Addiction is rampaging our homes, our schools, our community, and our society. It is a highly charged emotional land mine.

Over 23 million people suffer from some form of addiction. At least 100 million people have experience with addiction in their lives.

It is hard to fathom that with almost one-third of our county’s population exposed to addiction that we still need to be activists.

Lacking the courage and living in fear of public scrutiny too many parents are not receiving the peer-to-peer support they need most. As parents struggle to find the courage to share their story and get the help they really need, many of them look to the Internet for support. As much as I like the concept of on-line support groups, this is not the best place for parents to recover. Right now, it is the safest, most anonymous way to do research. They do not take the place of community support groups like PAL (Arizona) or Learn to Cope (Boston). This must change!

Parents with passion, experience, commitment, and resolve must to take their battle to streets and to mainstream media. We need to start educating those who need educating by fighting ignorance with knowledge and awareness. We need to stand tall for those who struggle as we once did and help guide to an empowered haven of love, support, and learning.

I am determined to fight this battle to bring the disease of addiction into its proper place where care, support, education, and change are part of a mainstream program not some secret society only for those who somehow found themselves members of the “Addiction Club.”

Below is my behavioral checklist. These are tips for parents advocates who want to help families (Rules 1-7) and who are committed to ending the stigma of ignorance and fear in our society (Rules 8, 9, 10). Hope they help!

1. Listen: Listen to those who are struggling. Every word a parent shares is a cry for help. They are in pain. More than anything, they are simply expressing their feelings and seeking a helpful refuge. They do not want to feel alone. They need to be heard. Listen. Let them know you heard them and they are not alone.
2. Understand: Take a moment to understand where they are, not where you were or are. Their words, their struggle, their pain is about them, not you. Put yourself in the position they are in. If you were there once, without comment go back to that place and feel it. Speak to them from that place, not your current place.
3. Encourage: Encourage them to have faith, stay strong, believe. Encourage them to trust their instincts and while pointing them to an effective support group or call a parent coaching helpline like the one at Partnership for Drug Free Kids to have someone to talk to.
4. Share: Feel free to share your story without using it as a means to advise them what to do. Share the commonalities of the pain, the struggle, and the hope we all have experienced. Everyone loves Sandy Swenson’s book “The Joey Song.” The power in this book is how Sandy shared her story without “telling” any of us what to do. Her story resonated with and inspired us because of how she shared it.
5. Educate: Teach these parents how to think. Go back and reflect on how you learned, how you thought, and how you fell down and got up. This was your learning curve. Everyone learns through experience. Learn to educate others to discover the lessons and their future steps based on thoughtful reflection, not simple, quick answers.
6. Participate: Participate in a parent coaching training program. Learn the skills to communicate - listen, understand, encourage. Your passion for helping others and supporting those who are struggling is awesome. If that is your desire, learn how to engage in a more powerful, helpful manner.
7. Attend: Attend a local parent support group regularly. Healing the best trainer. Many of my greatest and most productive interactions from those who want to help have come from those with experience in active participation of a local parent group. Learn how these groups work so you can encourage others to attend. We do not have enough parents using these programs. This is the best place for them to be.
8. Inform: When it comes to those who don’t understand addiction, there is always an opportunity to inform someone. When a person says something stupid or irresponsible see it as an opportunity to first understand why they believe that; what their experiential reference for that opinion is; and, from a place of understanding inform them of the error in their thinking.
9. Enlighten: The issue of addiction needs advocates not victims. Or job is to tell our story to anyone and everyone we can all the time! Enlightenment improves awareness. Far too many people do not know how serious this issue is, because we are not talking openly, freely, courageously and forcefully about it with our relatives, our neighbors, our church members, or friends. Get out there and start educating people.
10. Fight: The only way to win this battle of knowledge and awareness is to fight for truth. The stigma of addiction is a byproduct of fear and ignorance, both of which are behaviors that need not be tolerated or accepted. When someone says something wrong, stupid, or inaccurate it is your responsibility to set the record straight from place of love and wisdom.

We have all become members of a club we didn’t really plan on signing up for. Now that our membership is official, it our job to help those who need us as much as we needed others in our darkest place while eradicating ignorance and stigma in the process.

Thank you for being an advocate. Thank you for being passionate and committed. Stay active and proud, together we will make a difference. Peace!

Filed Under: Addiction, featured, Uncategorized Tagged With: addiction and education, addiction and ignorance, addiction support, Learn to Cope, parenting and addiciton support, parenting and addiction, Partnership for Drug Free Kids