100 Pedals

Recovery for Parents Dealing with Addiction in their Families

## I hate being stuck…

October 21, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

What does stuck look like to you?

I know we have all been there. Some, I am certain are sitting there right now. Stuck.

When I think of stuck, I think back to a time in college when a friend of mine was into taking his four wheel drive truck out and getting it covered in mud. He was so ecstatic about this truck. He would take it out to the nastiest, muddiest, dirtiest places and drive through without missing step. Until….

Until the day he took me along. Not believing it was possible to drive wildly through the mud with any vehicle, he just had to show me how cool it was to go four wheeling.

Needless to say, we got stuck. Did we ever. All I remember is that truck getting buried so deep in the mud that we had to climb out of that cab, step into the thickest, deepest, nastiest, shoe grabbing mud ever. Worse than that, we had to walk back to school to get help towing the truck out.

That mud-strong, all powerful, truck got stuck. It was going nowhere and there was not one ounce of creative energy that was going to get that truck out of that spot.

That is stuck. You know you are stuck when a vehicle designed to conquer everything mud related, gets swallowed up by the very thing it is expected to be invincible over.

We all know what stuck feels like. That feeling like we are in a quagmire, a swamp, a mud hole and there is no way to simply flip a gear and pull ourselves out.

Sometimes, when you find yourself stuck, you simply need to walk away. Spinning your wheels, pushing forward without any progress, and staying determined to drive through sometimes isn’t the answer.

This does not mean give up. It merely means you may have to find, discover or create another path. Finding another way to your objective, creating a new course, or stepping back completely to rethink the entire situation is often very productive.

When you find yourself stuck, in the mud, knee deep in garbage, I would encourage you to to completely detach emotionally and physically from the situation. Allow your mind and your body to relax, regroup, and rethink. Trust the mission you have created for yourself, allow yourself to believe that there may be a better way, and create an environment that enables you to peacefully discover it.

Knowing when to grind it out and when to regroup is the difference between will and wisdom. Sometimes a little wisdom is all you need to get out of the mud.

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Managing Adversity, Uncategorized Tagged With: being creative, commitment, detachment, four wheeling, getting creative, managing adversity, perseverance

## What kind of example are you setting?

October 16, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“What you do and say is always being observed by someone impacted by your actions.”

As parents, adults, and leaders the best lesson we can provide anyone, especially our children, is to lead by the example of how we live our lives. Telling someone what you expect, believe, or demand is only credible from a leadership perspective if that is the standard by which you both lead and live in your life.

Rule-ality #1: You are not exempt, above, or excluded from your own rules.

Rule-ality #2: You are required, obligated, and expected to follow the rules you have set for others.

- If you tell your children to respect their elders, you cannot call your boss an idiot!
- If you tell your children they are to obey the driving laws, you cannot blast through a red yellow light because you are running late!
- If you tell your children that drugs are evil, be careful how you manage your own alcohol consumption!
- If you tell your children they cannot lie, then you have to stop saying “don’t tell mom (dad)”!

You get the idea! Our children don’t listen to us. They do not need to. They only need to watch us. How we abide by the rules we set for them and those that are set for us, provides them all the information they need for creating their own standards.

You desire for others to be more responsible in their lives, yet you continue to be less responsible for how you manage yours. There is always a reason why you are exempt from the rules you don’t like; yet, others are not as easily exempted from honoring the rules you believe must to be honored.

The standard is the rules — like them or not. Don’t like them, then change them. Don’t like them, you must honor them anyway. Don’t like them, respect them until they are eliminated or improved. Set the standard. Be the standard — you have other option.

Your kids, your neighbors, your friends, your co-workers and your employees are all watching. If you don’t want this level of responsibility, too bad — you are the one that started demanding and expecting something from someone else. You created a standard. Now you have become a standard bearer of integrity and leadership to your own rules. Congratulations and enjoy!!

Filed Under: Embrace Responsibility, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: consistency, integrity, leadership, parenting

## Have the courage to stay on course

October 14, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

Yesterday, the pastor spoke about cognitive dissonance — when what we are experiencing conflicts with what we expected or believe is correct. It is that moment of discomfort or doubt that may cause us to interrupt the path we are on because the expectations of our past experiences challenges the course. Instead of trusting the directions of our vision and mission, our fears and expectations disrupt our progress.

Succeeding in the face of this conflict required us to remain resolute, trusting the path. Stay on course and don’t stray despite the conflicts in your head. Have the strength and the courage to keep moving forward on the path you are on.

This talked triggered an experience I had when I was on a quest to complete a marathon in 1990. My first marathon attempt was in Detroit in early October. I had high expectations, had trained well, and had an aggressive finishing time in mind. I was ready. Early in the race, things didn’t go as I had envisioned. The more my mind struggled, the more by body complied with the chaos. Eventually, I gave up my pursuit at around mile 19. Convinced I couldn’t finish, I dropped out of the race.

I found my family at around mile 21. I could see the surprise and disappointment in their eyes. I always was a pretty powerful, strong, and determined individual — they were shocked I bailed on my mission. It was hard to explain to them the struggle. Mainly, because I knew I had let my mind win the war of the race.

With a little encouragement from a training partner, I decided to revisit my quest and entered the Columbus Marathon that November. I treated my Detroit experience as both a training run and as a reminder that success doesn’t come from quitting.

The night before the race, I was having dinner with my family at my Dad’s house in Columbus when my daughter declared that “knowing my dad, he will probably quit again.” Ouch!! I never saw myself as a quitter; but, Sami appropriately called me on my last big failing.

Though I was already determined to cross that finish line, Sami’s challenge certainly raised the intensity of that commitment.

I had a lot of support through the race. My family caught up to me at mile 6, mile 11, and mile 16. I knew they would be at the finishing line. My sister-in-law, four months pregnant, found me at mile 15 and ran with me until mile 19. (If you knew her at all, she has never missed out on any opportunity to get in a workout — ever!)

Around mile 20 I hit the wall as all runners do. The pain, the doubt, the painfully sluggish pace of each step started to take its toll. This time I reminded myself that no matter how difficult the journey, I was going to finish. The last stretch of the race was one long three mile straightaway into a fifteen mile per hour headwind on a very cool 35 degree day. I was struggling to keep it moving. My body had started to tell my head that I was done. But, I persevered.

I looked at the skyline of distant downtown Columbus and picked out a building. I declared that I was going to get there. Somehow, someway, without stopping that was my spot. I kept moving — one very slow, difficult step at a time. The buildings got closer. My building got bigger. I could finally see the finish line. It was right in front of the building I was running towards! After three hours and fifty five minutes of non-stop running (I didn’t even stop when I grabbed water along the route), I crossed the finish line.

Immediately upon completion the exhilaration and euphoria moving through my body was competing directly with the pain that was moving up from my feet through the rest of my system. I did it! I stayed on course! I stayed focused! I kept moving!!

It isn’t always easy, especially when we are battling very loud voices from within. The key to it all — stay focused, stay committed, and keep moving on the path you have chosen despite the obstacles and the surprises and you will cross the finish line.

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Learning From Experience, Make A Commitment, Managing Adversity, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership, Uncategorized Tagged With: accomplishment, celebration, cognitive dissonance, conflict, determination, doubt, focus, managing adversity, perseverance, victory

## The fix begins with you!!

October 9, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

We are ALL members of a very large, diverse, and complex community — the human race. It is unfortunate that we have become so fragmented by ego, hate, fear, despair, judgement and anger. The situation is rapidly becoming more intense and unstable. Even more frustrating is that it seems there isn’t anyone capable of or willing to rising above the choas and guide us through this mess.

It is okay — we don’t need them!!

The only force capable of changing what is destroying and dividing us is ourselves.

The end to this insanity starts with you and me!!

Avoid engaging in actions, comments, behaviors, and decisions that reflect an adverse, disruptive, disrespectful emotional response to the situation.

Why fan the flames of adversity with negative, disrespectful, hurtful comments? What problem does it solve?

Do you honestly believe you are the only one upset, frustrated, disappointed, or angry about the situations we find ourselves in?

What problem does blame, name calling, and finger pointing solve?

You are not alone.

While we do not have the answers yet, they will not be found, discovered, or created by alienating the only people that can help you solve the crisis. The frustrated, disappointed, and angry people standing on the opposite side of the street as you are the only ones who can help you get to a peaceful, intelligent, and sustainable solution. They are just as frustrated, confused, disappointed, and angry as you!

The time has come for each of us, in our everyday lives, to declare that we are and will be committed to bringing superior emotions — love, joy, peace, encouragement, and gentleness — to our world every single day!!

Instead of dividing, judging, hating, or disrespecting be a positive, loving, peaceful, and gentle inspiration to everyone in your world — even the ones you don’t understand.

The lives you touch will be inspired. Only in a state of inspired collaboration can we create a movement of understanding and change.

The first step requires releasing the desire to be right and begin to embrace a commitment to collaborate to find a solution. Standing on the corner screaming out the answer does nothing.

Working in collaboration to discover a solution actually solves problems.

Change begins with me. I am committed to loving, understanding, encouraging, supporting, and listening. Along the way, I hope to learn and discover perspectives and opportunities for change that I did not previously understand were possible. I look forward to the interaction and the experience. Go in peace and give your love to the world!

Filed Under: Giving Love Tagged With: collaboration, happiness, inspiration, joy, leadership, managing adversity, peace, responsibility, solving problems

## Maintaining momentum over the forces working against you!

October 7, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“The directions of your actions when you find yourself in a hole define whether you are digging in or climbing out.”

Things do not always go in the direction we desire. We have good days and bad times. Sometimes the wind is at our back. Other times the climb up the hill is long, hard, and challenging.

If you are like me, I can feel when a slump threatens. I can choose to let the slump take me over and set me back; or, I can find a way to keep moving.

The 4th Wheel of Personal Leadership is all about making a commitment. Making a commitment is finding a way to keep moving no matter the situation. There is nothing more disruptive than lost momentum. Once that forward inertia is lost, recovery is more painful that working through the challenge in the first place.

Avoid letting setbacks create another adversity. Keep moving no matter what.

I have a good friend, Kristi Trimmer, who has taken her passion for running and inspiring other to an entirely new level with her Girl on the Run campaign. She is six months into a continuous road trip and adventure that started in Phoenix and has taken her to the coasts of California and Oregon, to Vancouver, Chicago, New York, Virginia, and Washington DC, and more! Along the way, she has been connecting with old friends, making new connections, and celebrating success by completing several half-marathons.

Despite having her car broken into, much of her running gear stolen, and suffering a serious achilles injury, she has not missed one single, solitary beat. Can’t run? No problem. Try cross fit. Windshield smashed. Get it fixed.

Keep moving.

Honor the commitment.

Wind, storms, peaks, valleys — adversity — is part of the process of each of our adventures. The directions of your actions when you find yourself in a hole define whether you are digging in or digging out. Whatever you do, keep moving and dig yourself out!

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Make A Commitment, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: commitment, girl on the run, honoring commitments, Kristi Trimmer, managing a slump, managing adversity, orange dragonfly, perseverance, success