100 Pedals

Recovery for Parents Dealing with Addiction in their Families

## The Great Manipulator Known As Fear

June 26, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.” ~ Donald Miller

When faced with a choice or a decision, our first instinct is usually the correct one. It is only when we allow ourselves to reflect, think, or examine that choice do we change our mind. Often we have that moment later when we go, “I wish I had followed my first instincts.”

Fear is what gets in our head and actually defines our choices — unfortunately it usually is not for the better.

Recently, I engaged in a very interesting conversation with an individual about a career choice they were struggling to make. They had gone through a series of personal and professional challenges and was finally establishing firm footing and confidence. Even though they definitely were not where they desired to be, they had moved into a much better place than before, they were terrified of taking advantage of a huge opportunity presented to them.

As we talked through the endless array of pros and cons, I struggled to help them discover an answer to the choice that lay before them. Then, I asked them to reflect on all the choices that they had made in their life where they trusted their instincts and followed through on them; and, on the times they ignored their gut and made a different choice. Upon careful introspection they realized that most of their adverse outcomes occurred when they overrode their gut instincts and made a different choice or took a different path.

They knew that they had a great opportunity to take a giant step forward. It was fear that was preventing them from taking the big step forward. In this case, it was only able to hold them back until they realized that it was fear that previously influenced their other bad choices, decisions, and outcomes.

We all have the ability to embrace, live and celebrate a very exciting, unique life. The first step is letting go of the fear that rules us, makes our life “safe”, and everything around us a little boring and underwhelming. Let go of the fear and embrace the opportunities that exist in front of you right now — what is holding YOU back?

Filed Under: Seizing Opportunity Tagged With: creating your adventure, embracing adventure, embracing fear, facing your fears, managing fear

## A Good Story Has Nothing To Do With A Happy Ending

June 24, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Many desire a great life story, while few are willing to put in the work. Great stories require effort, pain, focus, and time.”

Hollywood has done an incredible job of creating unrealistic expectations. We all love those happy endings in movies because we so dearly long for them in our daily lives. Far too many have come to expect that a Hollywood outcome is possible in our lives — and it is. However, there is much more work, time, struggle, and perseverance to overcome than is displayed in a two hour movie.

The other component often lost in a conquer-all Hollywood production is not how the movie ends — but the adventure of the character’s story. We all get caught up in a great movie watching our character go through their struggles to get to the desired outcome. How many of realize what really drew us into the story was not the ending as much as it was the journey. We are conditioned that good stories have to have great endings, when the experiences in the story is what actually keeps us glued to the screen.

The same is true in real life. A successful outcome is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate. Yet the story of the journey — the lessons, experiences, obstacles, problems — make the outcome the really exciting, interesting part of the story.

While we are all aware of this and understand this truth, we still wish for, seek out, and live our lives searching for an easier path. When you are aware of your vision and your passion — that which drives, inspires, and guides you — the path you desire is the path you must take and remain on, regardless of how difficult the journey.

I finally finished the book, “A Million Miles In A Thousand Years” by Donald Miller. This book is all about life’s stories. Its a collection of perspectives on experiences — how the characters faced adversity, an experience, a challenge, a dream, or simply daily living. And, it is a reflection on the reality of our stories and how we write them and tell them to ourselves and others.

In this book, the author touches on this same thought — how it can be too easy to give up on what we desire most.

> “I think this is when most people give up on their stories. They come out of college wanting to change the world, wanting to get married, wanting to have kids and change the way people buy office supplies. But they get into the middle and discover it was harder than they thought. They can’t see the distant shore anymore, and they wonder if their paddling is moving them forward. None of the trees behind them are getting smaller and none of the trees ahead are getting bigger. They take it out on their spouses, and they go looking for an easier story.”

Our life is one big, long story. There are many chapters — experiences, lessons, reflections, regrets, and accomplishments. Each chapter is simply another component of the bigger story — your life.

Every one of us has a story to live, to share, and to celebrate. The story you tell has very little to do with how fast, quickly or easily you reached your destination. Save those stories for the movies.

Your story is that powerful lesson of your experience — how you embraced your vision for the life you desired, the people you touched, and the lives you influenced. Your story is in the recollections of little triumphs over big obstacles and big struggles with simple issues. Your story is that lesson that you share with others how you embraced your passion and took an incredible journey that provided awesome lessons along the way. That is how stories really end.

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Learning From Experience, Live With Passion, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: A Million Miles In A Thousand Years, Donald Miller, embracing the journey, embracing your vision, living your passion, living your purpose, your life story

## Chaos Does Not Own You, Unless You Empower It To

June 20, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Even if the chaos envelopes you, it cannot define your outcomes without your permission.”

When the world around you crashes in, all is not lost, ruined, or destroyed. As long as you remain focused, confident, and true to the values that drive, inspire, and guide you, the peace that comes from this will lead you.

Too often the crises around us have the ability to completely stop us in our tracks. There will be days when we cannot control or even influence what goes on around us. The negative energy of these events have a great deal of pull. As long as we rely and focus on the positive energy we have inside us, nothing can stop, slow, or interrupt our progress.

There is no need to gird for battle and fight through the negative forces. Instead, go to that place of internal peace and remove yourself from the emotions of the situation and define a new, peaceful, and positive environment. Move forward from there.

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Maintaining Focus Tagged With: maintaining superior emotions, staying focused, staying on course, superior emotions

## Simply Start Walking

June 19, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“The mountain of life cannot be climbed by knowing the path the entire way. Sometimes we have to simply start walking.” ~ D.C., Behind the Dumpster

Having the courage to begin a journey without being assured of the final outcome is always one of life’s bigger challenges. What usually prevents people from taking this step is fear, doubt, worry, anxiety — negative emotions that stifle opportunity.

Everyday I remind myself I am on a journey. I am on a path that has been specifically designed for me. If I were to try to predict, understand or know exactly how it is going to go or where it will end up, I will likely go nowhere fast as I spend more time analyzing my options and my course rather than simply moving.

Trusting that the path I am on will lead to a great outcome are positive, empowering and inspiring way emotions to take on a journey. Every experience is a lesson. Every adversity is an opportunity. And, every challenge will be a future story to inspire and teach others.

Living my life in quiet confidence that I am on a cool, unique, exciting, and challenging adventure is how I embrace my path and keep moving forward. I encourage you to trust your path and start walking.

Filed Under: Behind the Dumpster Tagged With: discovering peace, embracing adventure, embracing the journey, enjoying the journey, trusting the journey, trusting the path

## Finding Peace In The Midst of Chaos

June 17, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Every moment in every person’s life contains the teaching most needed at that time.”

One of the principal learning foundations in 100Pedals is “Embrace Responsibility” — we are where we are at this point in our life because we are supposed to be. When I read this quote and the studied the subsequent thoughts, I easily and readily related to it.

There are many situations in our lives which lead to negative feelings. These emotions - fear, anxiety, worry, pain, distrust, or mistrust — prevents us from discovering the real educational lesson of the moment. Most times when faced with an obstacle or a crisis our reaction is to gear up for battle and brace ourselves to fight through it — looking forward to the moment when we can put it behind us. Lost in this battle mindset is the thoughts that every adversity, crisis, or challenge is also a learning opportunity. It is an opportunity to learn about ourselves, to discover new ideas, approaches, or options, and to embrace the challenge as an experience to celebrate once we have moved through it. And, it is very likely something that we need to learn and experience in preparation for the rest of our journey.

Working through these obstacles in both a positive and productive fashion requires us to embrace, in trust and confidence, this is an experience we have been tasked to engage in while living and learning from it in the process. Introducing negative, adverse, or ego based emotions into the situation only slows our progress and blocks our ability to embrace the true educational opportunity in the experience.

According to this teaching in the I-Ching, when faced with the reality of our adversity…

> “…our only task is to trust the process and allow the lesson to seep in…Let go of dark thoughts and aggressive actions. By returning to acceptance and neutrality, you dissolve the opposition within yourself and open the way for understanding…“

When I was struggling to gain my footing and find peace in the midst of my issues with Brandon’s addiction and my subsequent business challenges, the more I fought for what I defined to be the desired outcome, the more I struggled to find it. Once I got on my bike and started riding, I discovered the peace and energy that came from the meditative, positive experiences of those rides; I was able to let go of what I could not control and I became open and more receptive to the learning opportunities that were placed before me.

In letting go of what I could not control, I learned to become more clear about my passion, my purpose, and my vision for my life. As I became clear about who I was, what I stood for, and where I was going, I found an incredible peace in that reality. Despite the pain, chaos, and frustration around me, I was able to step back, accept the situation for what it was, and begin to embrace the powerful lesson of the experience.

Much of what occurs to us and around us is beyond our control. Trying to take control over what we have no control over is a waste of time. Trying to understand why this is happening to us, is an exercise in insanity.

The best course of action is to go to that place of peaceful clarity, trust there is an important learning component for our journey, and embrace the lesson and the experience placed before you. Once you discover and embrace that mindset, you will move forward in relaxed confidence that this is where I am supposed to be at this point in time and I am okay with it.

Filed Under: Embrace Responsibility, Inspirational Perspectives, Seizing Opportunity, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: discovering peace, embracing responsibility, embracing the journey, living in peace, trusting the journey, trusting the path

## Flowing Through Adversity Like Water

June 14, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Flow like pure water through difficult situations.”

In the face of challenging or difficult situations, the best course of action is to act like water. Think of the path that water takes on its journey as it passes over rocks, finds a path around formidable obstacles, discovers crevices or cracks to keep it moving, and relaxes and recovers by forming deep pools to collect itself.

As our journey offers similar forms of challenges, obstacles and opportunities, we could accomplish a great deal by taking the same approach water does on its course, . In the face of a challenge, it is much more productive to maintain positive and peaceful energy. Flow with the adversity, much as water flows.

The path to accomplishment is most powerful and productive when we keep moving and flowing forward in a positive, confident manner. Even though the pace of that movement may be slowed or altered by obstacles, it is up to us to maintain our positive energy and discover a path that keeps us moving, The three successful mindsets are: stay positive and confident, embrace the lessons that exist in the obstacle, and keep moving with confidence and clarity.

Just as water flows peacefully and continuously on its defined course, so too can you move peacefully and confidently on yours.

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives Tagged With: dealing with adversity, dealing with conflict, dealing with obstacles, embracing adventure, embracing the journey, enjoying the journey, finding peace, I Ching, living with confidence, maintaining progress

## From That Place Of Peace

June 11, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

Over 50 days ago I shared that my next 100Day Challenge was to commit to studying the I-Ching for 100 consecutive days. I am happy to report that as of today, I completed day 51 today without a miss.

I have found the I-Ching to be a great reminder of the power of “superior emotions” — perseverance, gentleness, innocence, detachment, modesty — as a source for balance, happiness and peace. What throws us out of balance and off our game are the “inferior emotions” of judgement, fear, doubt, anxiety, or desire.

The lessons in I-Ching resonate so clearly with my 100Pedals experiences and the path I have embraced for my life the past few years. The progress I desire for my life is found in the little, consistent steps I take every day. When I trust my path and live in the peace of that journey I maintain incredible balance and momentum. When I allow adversity to interrupt me, I interrupt my peace and my progress. That interruption is always notable and has an impact. In this approach, I have learned to live and respond to the life’s events from a place of peace that has kept me moving in a very positive and powerful way.

Every day I choose to live from that peace and confidence of my journey and my path. The impact that this approach has had on the outcomes and on my daily emotions has been amazing.

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives Tagged With: embracing peace, I Ching, living in peace, superior emotions, trust the journey, trust your path

## What Are You Complaining For?

June 10, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Complaining is an external expression of an internal reality with a lifetime of consequences.”

I don’t have time. I wish I had more energy. My wife never listens to me. My kids are constantly asking me for something. I just can’t seem to run faster, jump higher, look better, or make more money. And on it goes.

I am pretty certain each of us can easily share what we don’t have that we want, need, desire, or wish for.

How easy would it be to list what we love, enjoy, appreciate, celebrate, and embrace about what we have or who we are?

I have spent most of my life trying to be something. The quest for a better job, a more significant title, or a bigger income has always been part of my professional wish list. The desire to be healthier — skinnier, better looking, and more GQ — has been on my list, as well. The quest for these things have succeeded in focusing me in on what I am not rather than what I am and in the greatness of the present.

Every single time I take personal inventory, the list of shortcomings is always longer than the list of my true successes, talents, and accomplishments. The more I share to myself or project onto others what I am not, the more I am quietly complaining about what is missing in my life. The more I block my greatness and own my failings, the more powerful my failings become in the scheme of things in my life.

As I approach my 50th consecutive day of reading my I Ching, there was a very powerful message that reminds me about the power of internal strength:

> The proper response to conflict, whether it lies within or without us, is disengagement…When you act under the influence of inferior emotions — fear, doubt, desire, anger — you complicate your path to accomplishment. All conflict is, in the end, inner conflict.

I continually remind myself of my commitment to the life I am living. A big component of this commitment is recognizing and celebrating the gifts I have been given, appreciate them for what they have to offer me and others, and constantly share those gifts with others to help them discover the path they desire for their life.

Whenever I embrace this course on a consistent basis my world is at peace. While I may be hit with an adversity along the way, it is in this state of peace, joy and happiness, that I am able to discover a solution to the challenge that keeps my on course and in balance. When I don’t, I lose momentum, struggle to find my way, and always experience a loss in energy.

Complaining, criticizing, and judgement are all external expressions of our own internal reality. Embrace the energy and the power and the gift that is you. Celebrate and live that gift every day. You will find more success, accomplishment, peace and joy in that space.

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment Tagged With: celebrating you, celebrating your life, I Ching, loving you, loving your life

## Never Lose Hope

June 7, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Hope is essential for parents of addicts. Through hope, we keep a connection with our loved ones, no matter how far they’ve fallen. Hope is fragile and it’s a choice, but it will be my choice.” ~ Libby Cataldi

Hope is not just for parent of addicts. It is for everyone who has a loved one in a struggle. It is for everyone who has a desire or a dream unfulfilled. It is for everyone who is going through their own personal battle.

Hope is a choice. It is a reflection of your love for that person or yourself. It is a reflection of your belief that there is a better future out there.

Hope always seemed to be one of the last rungs on the ladder to hang on to before falling into that dark, painful hole known as despair.

Whether I was dealing with my son’s addiction or struggling to discover the path for my life, hope is the last stop before the “I give up” train arrives.

In the early stages of the 100Pedals experience, I submitted a post titled “The Power of Hope.” In it I shared that hope is about never giving up.

> Regardless of what is going on in our lives or our past experiences and failures, we must never lose sight of who we are and what our passion and purpose are. Hope is not a strategy and we cannot win on hope alone; however, without hope we have nothing left to fight against quitting. Never lose hope – never give up.

Hope is fragile. It is a choice. It is a commitment. I choose to never lose hope. For once I do, it means there is nothing left. I cannot going to allow myself to go there.

Filed Under: Giving Love, Lessons In Addiction, Managing Adversity Tagged With: addiction and parenting, hope, maintaining hope, parenting, the power of hope

## If I don’t, I won’t

June 4, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

That little voice in my head challenged me to grab an extra hour of sleep this morning. I could have. I thought about it.

I didn’t. I knew better!

How can I possibly achieve what I am committed to accomplishing if I don’t put in the time, the effort, and the energy to consistently honor my commitment?

If I don’t — I won’t!!

It is that simple. There are a lot of things that I can and do have control over that will define and influence my success.

I do not need everyone to approve, bless, like, enjoy, embrace, support, or like what I have to offer.

I only need to find those who approve, bless, like, enjoy, embrace, support, or like what I have to offer!

They can only find or discover me if I put it out there. Will everyone say “yes” or “love it”? Probably not.

They should — but not everyone is going to be able to relate to what I am passionate about or committed to.

There is no failing on anyone’s part when that is the case.

The only failure that comes from rejection rests on me if I stop or quit in the face of a rejection, a challenge, or an adversity.

If I don’t — I won’t!!

If I don’t keep moving forward, sharing my passion, my story, my energy and my commitment,

I won’t be successful in touching, changing, inspiring, supporting and guiding others.

If I don’t — I won’t!!!

If I don’t believe in my story or my mission, I won’t enable others to believe in it either.

The path to the outcomes I desire are solely defined by the actions I take, continue to make, and commit to despite the obstacles, challenges or adversity I face along the way.

If I don’t keep moving, I won’t finish the race!!

I will press on…I have to!!

Filed Under: Focusing On Your Vision, Living Your Purpose, Make A Commitment, Seizing Opportunity Tagged With: dealing with obstacles, focusing on your vision, honoring commitments, honoring your commitments, living with purpose, managing adversity, staying focused