100 Pedals

Recovery for Parents Dealing with Addiction in their Families

## Emotional Gridlock

December 19, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

‘Tis the season to be jolly.

The holiday season provides us with so many emotions. There is the joy and celebration of the season. Looking back at the year that was. Looking forward to the year that will be. Showing gratitude and love to friends and family for their part in our lives. Sharing gifts of various sorts and sizes to those in need or simply because.

Then there is the other side. The shopping. The crowds. The aggressive behavior of those in a hurry to work through their shopping errands. The family visits that many of us have some level of anxiety over. The travel. The hustle and bustle of the Christmas season that certainly stresses out most people.

Frankly, I have never been much of a Christmas season junkie. I have always dreaded this season. I have found the commercialism and the pretense of this time of year to be too much. My childhood memories of Christmas make this time of year a real challenge. And, I am not one to ever get trapped into doing something -just because.

As I enter into another Christmas season, with a slightly lowered level of anxiety, I do have some thoughts I want to share as we enter into this season of giving, loving, and gratitude:

1. Love is always in season: Christmas is not the only time we can show love for our fellow man. While we are reminded of its importance in the holiday season, the season of giving never ends. As you are aware of your actions to show and share your appreciation and concern for others during this period, please make a commitment to live your life this way everyday.

2. You are the gift: We spend a great deal of time considering and selecting gifts for people. I particularly appreciate the random, unique gift that someone buys for me that I didn’t request or ask for yet, found it under the tree with my name on it. Those gifts resonate as surprises. In this season of giving remember — you have and are a very special and unique gift. Always make your gifts available, you never know who is looking for that special something you have to offer.

3. Appreciate everyone in your life: You may not always understand or appreciate someone’s presence in your life; however, they have been placed there for a reason. They may have been placed there for their benefit, not yours. As you put into practice the consistent behaviors of love and sharing (from above) remember to appreciate those around you. They are there for a reason, if you cannot figure it out. Offer them the gift of you and your love.

I hope everyone of you has an awesome holiday season. The experiences of 2011 have been a trememdous blessing to me. For the first time in a long while, I am actually not dreading Christmas. I have been blessed in this transition with a profound sense of peace and appreciation for my journey. I am grateful for my family, my friends, my gifts, and, most importantly, my journey.

May each of you find peace, joy, gratitude, and love this holiday season and well into 2012!!

Merry Christmas!!

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Giving Love, Inspirational Perspectives

## Surprise!

December 12, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“My son’s experiences with addiction have provided me with a gift that has changed my life!”

Life is full of surprises. Sometimes we are delighted by the unanticipated gift; other times we are knocked off our feet by the unexpected news. Either way, a surprise could be an opportunity for you to experience, celebrate, or enjoy something that you didn’t expect.

I was thinking about life’s surprises when I was listening to someone talk about how children look at different types of Christmas gifts. Some gifts, usually the more unpractical ones, are the gifts everyone loves to open. The gifts children put on their list for Santa – the game, the toy, the bike, the doll – are always the favorite, most happily received gifts. These are the gifts that are used and loved for a while until another great toy, doll, or game replaces it (“Toy Story” anyone?).

Then there are the practical necessary gifts that every child dreads. We all know them as the present which contains clothes, underwear or socks. Often discarded as the undesired gift – these are the ones that most children use and wear on a regular basis until they either grow out of it or it just plain wears out.

When we really think about it, the gifts that we dread, don’t want, or look forward to the least are the ones that are the most practical and helpful. As children, we rarely look forward to that package with underwear, socks, or a shirt; however, it is the gift that provided us the most value and long term benefit.

Life’s surprises are pretty much the same. Nicole Bandes has shared the saying, “the best gifts come wrapped in the ugliest packages.” While it is hard to embrace bad news – job loss, divorce, illness, or legal issues – the opportunity these events provide us on a daily basis can be gifts. Even though it may not seem or feel like anything positive, the lessons learned about the experience and ourselves are a gift that can be celebrated and shared — provided we are open and receptive to it.

Several years ago, I received my surprise package via a phone call from my daughter. My youngest son was on drugs, homeless, in trouble with the law, and now, in jail. I had no idea what to expect when I first realized how serious Brandon’s addiction was. I was hit with a surprise package that I would never have expected or asked for. To discover that one of your children’s lives had gotten so out of control is devastating. However, the experiences associated with that surprise has completely transformed my life. While I would not have willingly chosen to live through the experiences I have, I also know that I have blessed and enriched by them.

I still long for a healthy, happy, drug free life for my son. His addiction is a curse and his lifelong battle. I would never have asked for that surprise package. However, through the experiences of his addiction, I have found a gift that has enlightened, strengthened, and inspired me in ways I could never have expected. I received one of those dreaded gifts and realize now how much I utilize it every day – what a remarkable blessing!

The next time someone says “surprise” remember, whether it is something you asked for or something you dread there is very likely an opportunity for you take a valuable lesson from it.

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Giving Love, Learning From Experience, Seizing Opportunity

## Your Uncompromised Values

December 5, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

Who we are is defined by what we believe, stand for and are committed to; it is also our source or strength and inspiration in difficult times.

I recently read a very inspiring story about a homeless man who found a backpack containing $3,300. Homeless, broke, and with some legal issues, the opportunity to take use this money to help get out of the hole he was in could have been easily justified. Instead, he found the rightful owner of the money — a college student — and returned it. Since making that decision over a year ago, this man’s life has been changed in many dramatic and amazing ways. This is an incredible story and a life lesson for all of us.

The message in this story is recognizing what is right, not what can be justified as right. For when we are faced with an opportunity to easily and quickly solve a problem, even though others may be adversely affected by our decisions, too many people take the shortcut and justify it. When it comes to our values, our commitment to others, what we stand for and believe in — there can be no compromises or justification for taking a break from them.

The man in this story had a clear sense of what is right and wrong. He could have easily justified his decision to simply take the money. After all, he needed it. Instead, he focused on doing what was right — returning the money to someone who likely would miss it. And, as a result the blessings that he have presented themselves are significantly greater than the $3,300 he could have taken.

Sometimes we cannot see the big picture or understand the long-term view. We do not know what is in store for our lives. As we face crisis after crisis, go over one hurdle after another, while facing what seems like an endless array of challenges and failings, it would be easy to simply take a shortcut. Unfortunately, when it comes to our core values, to what we know we believe, to what we stand for — there can be no compromises. For it is our values, our beliefs, and our commitments that are the source of our strength and our being. Sure, we can justify any decision we make, even if it adversely affects those around us — even perfect strangers; however, when we compromise our values in doing so, we also have weakened what we stand on — our principles — to guide, direct, and sustain us.

The future is very hard to predict. We never know where the source of inspiration or opportunity is going to be coming from. While it would be easy to seize on ready opportunities to find your way; but, if the cost of that solution is compromising what you know is right, rethink your decision and have more faith in that which guides you regularly.

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Live With Passion, Maintaining Focus, Make A Commitment