100 Pedals

Recovery for Parents Dealing with Addiction in their Families

## Freedom Is Not Always Easy

May 30, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“The cost of freedom is always high; one path we shall never choose… is the path of surrender, or submission.” ~ John F. Kennedy

On this Memorial Day, we are reminded of all the individuals who have come before us that have provided, fought for, and protected the freedoms that we all enjoy today. Make no mistake, freedom comes at a price. From the days of the Revolutionary War through to the battles we fight to preserve them today, our personal freedoms have come at the cost of many, many lives and have involved thousands more who have made a commitment to preserve, defend, and maintain them. To those people who have served in this quest – I honor and thank you.

Freedom is an interesting word. I am certain that if we tried to find a definition for it, we could all come up with a version that works for us. I chose to let Wikipedia manage the definition of freedom - “Freedom is the absence of restraints upon our ability to think and act.” Under this definition, freedom is an unconstrained opportunity to explore our thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and values. That is how freedom resonates with me.

The challenges associated with freedom is that it allows everyone to explore, live and express their beliefs even those that may be in direct confrontation and conflict with mine. This is not to say that the universally accepted rules of human existence – murder, destruction of personal property, stealing, etc.—get thrown out the window. However, many of the other freedoms we expect to enjoy in our way must be granted to others who have the same freedoms to enjoy theirs, as well.

Freedom is a wonderful and dangerous word. Freedom is a choice, it is a right, it is a responsibility; but it is also a consideration. Freedom is something that we have the right to enjoy and celebrate in our lives, while allowing others the same luxury without imposition.

On this Memorial Day celebration, remember to celebrate those freedoms that you enjoy every single day. Celebrate your freedom to choose where you live, where you work, how to express your opinions and beliefs, and how you live the values that define who you are. Then, be mindful of those who have their freedom to celebrate their values, beliefs, and being even though they may be in conflict with yours. Finally, remember that each of us has been granted these universal freedoms through their commitment and dedication to preserving them. Do their sacrifice the honor it deserves by remembering what true freedom is by respecting the differences and points of conflict that freedom can bring. Open your eyes, your hearts, and your minds to the gift, the cost, and the conflicts associated with freedom and celebrate our opportunity to appreciate it and live with it. And, be grateful that we have the freedom and the ability to do this.

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Learning From Experience, Seizing Opportunity, Uncategorized

## Why Worry?

May 25, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“No need to worry! You will always have everything that you need.” ~ my fortune cookie of May 22, 2025

That just about covers it! Like most everyone else these days, I have been going through some of my own personal, professional, and economic challenges. The stresses associated with these experiences range from near-peace to panic. When at near-peace, I am at my highest level of trust that everything I am going through is all part of a great opportunity to learn and grow. And, panic is just that – a high level of frustration, fear, and pain as I struggle to find peace, confidence and trust that everything will work itself out. After all, it always has.

If you could only appreciate the timing of this message. I am in Michigan and was wrapping up a fun weekend and preparing for a very productive week of training at several businesses. Yet, there is a cloud hanging over me back in Arizona that I have been dealing with for several months now. As I continue to patiently and confidently work through these challenges, the pressure to resolve them have been growing significantly. Deadlines are looming, answers are not clear, options are non-existent, and I am not really willing or able to make a decision on these matters. Despite all the good that is going on in Michigan, is being significantly offset by the pressures in Arizona. I am not in panic mode, yet; but, I am clearly worried and concerned.

Enter the fortune cookie. Though I am not one to put a lot of stock in messages, especially from a random fortune cookie, the timing of this one and the message it contains is significant. In earlier 100 Pedals posts, I have written about faith and hope. I have written and shared my belief and perspectives in how we need to trust and embrace our journey and the challenges, experiences, and opportunities contained in that journey. And, despite the range of stresses and concerns I feel about my situation at times, I continue to hold tight to the belief that there is a purpose for my particular path these days.

The poignant reminder that I received from this message was, I do always have everything that I need. Sometimes, especially lately, I have received what seems like the bare minimum. Regardless, I have always received everything I need and, according to my “fortune”, I will continue to do so. Instead of living in panic over the struggles in my life, I need to continue to face forward and trust that those things I am worrying about are being handled. With that, I am free to return to focus on engaging in those activities that keep me moving forward toward my goals and my commitments and in fulfillment of my promise.

Sometimes we worry about things that have no answer, yet. Sometimes we worry about those things that we are concerned could happen to us. Sometimes we worry about things that are actually distracting us from those activities that we need to be engaged in to accomplish our mission. You may not find the answers in a fortune cookie; but, this particular note is a pleasant reminder that, whether you realize it or not, you always have everything you need. Stop worrying about it!

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Learning From Experience, Uncategorized

## Personality Lost and Found

May 24, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Work was great. I have found my calling.” ~ Brandon Cooke

It wasn’t what he said that made me so happy, it was how he said it. The times have been quite rare in the past few years where Brandon’s particular humor has showed itself. Brandon has always had his own unique smart-ass style. It was not as much the words, as it was the combination of delivery and tone. I liked his irreverent comments and his sense of humor. When Brandon revealed himself in those comments, I realized how much I missed it and how nice it was to hear it again.

One thing about all the changes we go through in life, we sometimes lose those things that we actually don’t intend to lose. Brandon has been struggling for a long time. Finding himself, being happy, battling his addiction, and staying in recovery have all been a massive challenge. Lost in that battle was his humor and the joy of that humor. Where does it go? How can he get it back? This is an example of the casualties of change—of the battle for survival and happiness.

We all long for aspects of our past that we relish. For many of us it can be the security of our job, the comfort of our old home, the stability of a regular paycheck, the freedom to travel, or the confidence in our abilities and skills – or more. As we work through our journey and make the adjustment or, at least, work on the transitions to our new reality, we settle in. And, in settling in, we begin the transformation of ourselves and our new heightened awareness of our potential, our promise, our passion, and our commitment – all very exciting new frontiers. But, have we given up something of ourselves along the way? Like Brandon, have we inadvertently left something behind that we didn’t intend to our realize? If we have, what do we need to do to rediscover it or find it before it is permanently lost?

Understanding who we are and what inspires us to be great have very little to do with our situation or our transition. For who we are is what defines the foundation of our ability to weather whatever storm we are dealing with and provides us the strength and the character to accomplish what we have set out to accomplish. It is the importance of these strengths and abilities that make them essential components to protect, preserve and rediscover. If you feel like you are lost – that you are losing who you are – in your journey refocus on you. For what makes you great is your gifts, talents, and abilities and not simply your will, focus, or commitment on your journey. Those things keep you on course. It is your unique abilities that give you confidence and purpose.

When I heard Brandon’s humor I was delighted. He probably doesn’t yet feel the power that his humor provides him. However, knowing that for a brief moment he discovered and projected it, gave me hope that he will continue to use it. His wit is a tool that will help him laugh, create, and make others around him smile. It will give him confidence and strength. Through that he will continue to find positive opportunity on his journey.

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Inspirational Perspectives, Uncategorized

## What Matters Most

May 23, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“If you had no tomorrow – what would you do today?”

With all the chatter the past few weeks about the prediction of the end of the world, I started thinking about what would happen if I knew there were no tomorrow. Would there be something particular that I would do today? Beside telling my family how much I care for them and finding a way to spend time with them, there isn’t much else I would do. It certainly reinforced for me how important my family is to me. And, it helped me find comfort in where I am in my life today.

If I had to ponder this question several years early, I would have probably gotten caught up in all sorts of personal and professional relationship history. As if the stupid, mean, and zany things I said and did really were life altering events for those people. They were more associated or linked to the guilt I feel about who I was and the actions and behaviors I exhibited. I can now reflect on those experiences as unfortunate growing lessons and move forward in the confidence and comfort that I have discovered a more effective, influential, and giving way to touch lives, express and share my energy, and live with passion and purpose. Thank goodness for that.

When it comes to what it most important and clear to me, is my family. The relationship I have with them is tantamount in my life. My mom used to say “when you have your health, you have everything.” And, that is quite true. A healthy mind and body is a wonderful gift. It enables us to do so much without many constraints. However, when it comes to family that is the gift that shares with us, loves us, supports us, and keeps us accountable more than any other. For me nothing is more important that the health, happiness, well-being, and joy of my children. I want them to know that they are loved every single day. I want them to know that I am always there for them. And, I want them to know their importance as unique and talented individuals to others – especially me. I love hearing from them, love hanging out with them, and love watching them do what they enjoy. If I had to choose how I would live my last day – it would be with family. It is that simple and that easy.

For me family is one of my most important moments. When it comes to defining my passion and purpose in life, being clear on what is important is a great reminder as to what really is significant to us. As I work on my goals and drive myself to fulfilling my promise, answering this question helped me redefine a few of my priorities. With this reflection I am reminded of the central importance and value of my family in my life. I need to remind myself everyday to share and express with them my love and admiration to them. After all, this is the most important thing in my life. With the expressed purpose of having the ability to spend quality time with my children I can now move forward with a renewed passion on my current 100 days goal.

Filed Under: Giving Love, Living Your Purpose, Maintaining Focus, Uncategorized

## Expanding Your Horizons

May 13, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself.” ~ Confucius

Before I even started on the 100 Pedals journey, I shared with Brandon my ideas. His response was that this was one of “my best ideas ever.” I was concerned about the impact of sharing my story and, in turn, sharing his. Brandon embraced the idea because he believed that what I was experiencing relative to his life was a worthy lesson for others. Later, as I became more open with updates and experiences about Brandon’s journey, I revisited my concern about the impact of being open and honest on his life. His response surprised me – “Dad, if knowing my story turns people away from me or makes them uncomfortable with me, I don’t need them.” This is a very brave and clear perspective.

As I was thinking this morning about the progress that Brandon has made and the story that he has empowered me to share, this quote captured my attention. Everyone has an opportunity to learn from others. To learn, you need to take a walk with them in order to know, understand, and relate to them. Brandon’s story, his experiences, his mistakes, his successes and his failures are all lessons. He has obtained and internalized much knowledge from the life he has lived. People could judge, avoid, criticize or rebuke his decisions – or, they can listen to him, understand his story, and learn from him. I am proud of the progress he has made. When he shares his insights about his life, there is an unbelievable amount of wisdom in his thoughts and stories. He has powerful things to know and share. However, not everyone will be comfortable in the room with an addict in recovery. For those people who want to keep Brandon at a distance, you are missing out on a learning opportunity.

It is often said that to be financially successful in life, you need to diversify your portfolio. In order to enrich your life and enhance your personal growth and development, you need to diversify the contacts you have and the walks you take. Life’s lesson are best learned by walking with different people with a wide range of different perspectives and experiences. Like Confucius, you internalize and imitate those lessons that resonate as successful and inspirational; and, you correct within yourself those behaviors, thoughts, and ideas that were out of place. The more people you walk with, the more you learn. The wider the range of experiences the greater the influence on your personal growth and development.

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Learning From Experience, Uncategorized

## The Strangers in Our Lives

May 12, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.” ~ unknown

When I was on my bike this morning I ran into (no we did not crash) a fellow rider who was pretty much on my pace on the same road. As we talked a bit, it turned out he was going to be headed in the same direction as me for the next six miles. His plan was to take a different path until I shared with him the route I took that was much quieter, safer, and a little more scenic. Instead of taking his road, he followed me and we shared a nice conversation on the road home. As we came to the place where our mutual journey would end, we exchanged the usual pleasantries and he thanked me for showing him this new route. I may never see him again, likely I won’t; but, or twenty minute interaction will benefit him every time he heads into that area on his rides.

People continuously enter our lives. Sometimes they hang around for a while, sometimes they are there and then gone. The interesting thing about those interactions is that if you are paying attention, if you are being open and receptive, and if you are giving or yourself most of those engagements are memorable and offer value to someone in the process. I know those are pretty big “ifs” and most of you are not as readily sociable and engaging as I am. However, I will share that for the better part of eighteen months I didn’t feel to sociable or receptive or giving and I still there were people who came into my life and made a lasting difference. Some have stuck around, others have done their work and left; regardless, there are people who come into our lives every single day looking to help us or looking for what we have to offer.

I have learned and discovered and experienced so much about the power of being present to the gifts offered and needs of those around me. I cannot explain what it has meant to me to be touched by strangers who saw or felt my need and offered their advice and support. I cannot describe the feeling of excitement and joy that comes when your authentic, real, and sincere support is given to someone else. We have opportunities every single day to receive and share gifts. The challenge is to be aware of and receptive to the people around us.

Next time you are going through the paces in your life, put your head up, pay attention to those around you and offer yourself to them. A simple hello is all you need to do to get things started. Next time a stranger wants to meet with you, make time for them. There is a reason for that call or that request – until you make time and are open to and in the meeting, you will not discover the real opportunity that exists. You have a unique opportunity to touch and be touched – enjoy the experiences and the lessons, they will stay with you forever.

Filed Under: Giving Love, Inspirational Perspectives, Seizing Opportunity, Uncategorized

## Have Faith

May 11, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.” ~ D. Elton Trueblood

How many of you have heard the phrase “have faith?” Usually it was dumped on me as I was lamenting a Chicken Little perspective on some situation in my young life. That response had the uncanny ability to frustrate me because I was looking for someone to spend emotional energy with me complaining or worrying about the obvious disaster that loomed. When someone would calmly and casually say, “have faith,” it took all the steam out of my negative agenda.

There are times when “trust without reservation” is easier said than lived. When the challenges, failures, or lack of progress are bigger than your small, routine, and seemingly insignificant daily celebrations, simply trusting you are on your way to success is nearly impossible to embrace. Without evidence to the contrary, the negative energy seems to be winning the battle against your continuous push and belief that you will end up where you committed to being.

Faith is pretty blind. It does not keep score. It simply trusts that you will reach your destination and that you need to keep moving in order to get. “Have faith” is an awfully simple quote for such a challenging and frustrating environment.

I have to admit I have been on the other side of this conversation a few times lately. I have felt a little off course, loss, not sure that I am on my path in my journey. My inability to get closure on a few issues, to tangibly make progress in a few others, and the lack of answers to some of my most important questions have really frustrated me lately. When I find myself in these situations, all I can do is keep moving and find something that has occurred in the past few months that I can grab on to as a reminder that there has been a lot of productive and positive change in my world.

Yesterday I took tension and negativity out for a ride on my bike. About one-third of the way on the bike ride I said out loud,”I can’t do this anymore.” My frustrations have reached a crescendo. A simple “have faith” moment was not working for me. Somewhere along the ride, tension and negativity fell off the bike. I hope they are okay, because I don’t want anyone ever to get hurt on my rides; but, I was relieved that they were gone. What replaced it was a re-focus of my energy to at least accomplish one thing in the right direction.

It was that declaration that I can’t do this anymore that got my attention. I realized, it was living in the negative, frustrated environment that I gave up on – not my commitment to pushing onward even though much wasn’t really working.

That is the moment of trust and faith. Instead of letting the negative kill you, you allow your believe in yourself and your mission to take you to a productive and peaceful place. “Have faith” isn’t always easy. But, it is that place that allows you to find your groove and get back on your path once you discover you cannot do negative anymore.

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Maintaining Focus, Uncategorized

## Humility’s Incredible Power

May 10, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Think first about the foundations of humility. The higher your structure is to be, the deeper must be its foundation.” ~ Saint Augustine

I had a great conversation with Brandon the other day as I was encouraging him to take a moment and do an end zone dance to celebrate his accomplishments. Over the past three months he has remained clean, found a job, kept the job and has started depositing money in the bank. He has also been extremely consistent in attending meetings and has formed a collaborative and supportive friendship that keeps his company and rarely lets him wander off alone. Considering where he was six months ago, he is doing quite well.

Despite all this opportunity for celebration, Brandon still worries about failure. In talking with him, I discovered that while he knows he has made great progress he still feels the fear and the pressure associated with him staying successful. For many of us, success is a triumph and a reflection of our hard work and focus. For Brandon, success is only the result of not failing and the possibility of failing is a constant source of the pressure he feels. This is why I was really encouraging him to celebrate his accomplishments and discover the joy that comes with recognizing some of the ways he has made significant changes in his life.

As we talked about his progress, he shared that the source of his turnaround was his becoming humble. It was humility that enabled him to let go and start building his life back up. A couple of his trusted advisors told Brandon that they knew he was ready because he started to become humble. Imagine that – letting go of your ego and your control in order to begin to build up (been there). It is almost counterintuitive to those who believe that being in control enables one to take control. Instead, being humble and turning over control is the point where great success find there foundation.

When Brandon stopped fighting the forces around him, he discovered how the forces could actually help him. I had the same experiences early on in the 100 Pedals journey. When I made a commitment to ride, only the decisions to ride were in my control. Essentially they were the only thing that I truly made a commitment to. I ceded all control relating to the challenges and the issues in my life because I recognized that when I was in control of those things nothing really worked anyway. However, when I let it all go and became receptive to the forces on my rides, everything came into focus and I realized and discovered the peace that comes with surrendering control and being receptive to the voices in my humility.

That is humility—recognizing that you do not have the ability – the force – to do it yourself and on your own. And, that you can only find your way when you trust the powers that be to take control and guide your life. The deeper that humility drills into your soul, the more powerful the outcome. I am pleased that Brandon has made the progress he has. I am somewhat pleased that he fears taking control of his recovery in the sense he recognizes his ability to mess it up. I am also pleased that he has discovered humility in the process because that is where the power lies. Let’s hope that he continues to celebrate his success on his incredible recovery.

I would never have understood what this all meant until I parked my ego, and my pride, and all my controlling behaviors in the garage. Now that I see Brandon in this arena, I am witnessing it again. It is an awesome experience. And, I am happy and hopeful for his future.

Filed Under: Learning From Experience, Live With Passion, Living Your Purpose, Uncategorized

## Preparation and Practice

May 9, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“To give yourself the best possible chance of playing to your potential, you must prepare for every eventuality. That means practice.” ~ Seve Ballesteros

In honor of the passing of Seve Ballesteros this weekend, I found this quote attributed to him. The one this everyone admired about Seve was his intense ability to compete and make shots no matter the obstacle. When it comes to being a successful professional golfer, avoiding problems is the key to winning. However, the ability to make shots when something unfortunate happens is what separates the good ones from the great ones. Seve was a great one because he had fire, personality, and the focus to work himself out of some incredible situations. At 54, he was much too young to lose a battle to brain cancer.

The lesson for us in this quote is in our preparation and our practice. Habits are not something that simply happens. Habits are formed by doing things well, doing them correctly, and doing them consistently. Sometimes it takes time to develop our habits. It takes even longer to learn which habits suit us best. Regardless, making a habit a good, consistent, and reliable program in our lives is practicing it everyday.

The other half of the lesson is preparation. I have written about adversity before. There are two types of adversity – unanticipated and avoidable. Things will and do happen in our daily lives that we could not have planned, foreseen, or expected. That is unanticipated adversity – illness, death, loss of job, etc. Most of the adversity that derails us is the adversity that derails us every time. Yet, we have not taken control of this adversity yet and this is the adversity that can be dealt with and avoided.

We know ourselves better than anyone. We know the things that allow us to be distracted or unmotivated or simply quit. Sometimes it is a time management flaw, it a prioritization challenge or it is a commitment issue – regardless the pattern, we know what adversity we create or allow that consistently interrupts our progress. It is this adversity that we need to prepare for and begin practicing our habits on changing, improving or avoiding it altogether.

The one thing I can tell you about Seve is that he was not going to change the way he played competitive golf. He knew how he was going to play the game. And, the way he played it, he would and could put himself in situations that challenged his ability to win. But, because he recognized the type of adversity he could create for himself, he also was prepared to deal with it. His practice and his preparation enabled him to be successful despite some of the obstacles he created for himself.

When it comes to our goals and our commitment, there will be obstacles. We need to recognize the ones that we are likely to create for ourselves. And, because we are prepared for them and have practiced great habits in dealing with them, we are more likely to stay on our course and our path for success. Practice great habits and prepare for those obstacles that can and do occur – you will find your way.

Filed Under: Living Your Purpose, Maintaining Focus, Make A Commitment, Uncategorized

## Going Uphill is Still Progress

May 6, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Isn’ t this the truth. Sometimes it appears that life in nothing but a series of hurdles. Once you get over one hurdle or solve a problem there is another one sitting right in front of you. How can you possibly make progress if everything is a challenge? Progress is precarious. It seems like we are living on a treadmill, just spinning in place.

While it may actually seem that way, there is more to our progress than we realize. First of all, if we weren’t making progress at all, we would not have cleared that first hurdle or solved that first problem. There is progress in accomplishment. Whenever we overcome an obstacle or celebrate any positive event, we have made progress. Now the pace of our progress may not be what we desire, expect or demand of ourselves – we are still making progress every single time we move forward.

Some of my bike rides have been headlong into the wind. Some of those windy rides have been uphill, as well. Talk about making no progress. Into the wind, uphill and with my physical frame progress is slow—I mean really slow. I remember one time passing by one of those portable radar signs and my speed registered a whopping 9MPH. I almost started laughing. I was going around half what I normally ride at. That is making little progress.

As I climbed up the hill, despite the pace, I could see that slowly, but surely, I was getting closer to the top of the hill. I knew that I was almost at the end of the climb. As a result, I was able to push on and force myself to crank just a little steadier and a little harder until I got the top and could let gravity do some of the work.

The challenge with our progress is that when we are climbing uphill, we have no way of knowing when we are going to get to the top. We have no real way of knowing how close we are to the end of the climb. All we have is that sense within ourselves that we are moving, we must be making progress and eventually we will get to the top of the climb.

It would be easy to stop. It would be even easier to turn around and let gravity take us back to where we started. However, we also know how hard we have worked to get to this point. We know how much we have committed to working uphill, sometimes into the wind to get to the point where we are today. There really is no turning back.

Progress is nothing more than motion. Keep moving forward, in the right direction, and you are making progress. You are only not making progress when you stop or turn around. Trust in your progress. Have faith in your effort and your commitment. Keep moving and you will eventually stop climbing. Then, gravity will take over and you will be able to celebrate an incredible accomplishment!

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Inspirational Perspectives, Maintaining Focus, Uncategorized