100 Pedals

Recovery for Parents Dealing with Addiction in their Families

## Build Your Team

April 29, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“It is our community that provides us the strength to endure and excel.”

I have always been a passionate fan of the power of teams. Regardless of the task, the goal, the mission or the vision, no one can accomplish anything great without the engagement of others. The more engaged and inspired the team, the more powerful and effective the outcome. In these challenging times, people have learned to build and rely on their community for guidance, strength, and support.

When I first started my 100 Pedals journey, I looked upon it as a solitary journey. One man demonstrated his love and commitment to his son and to his own personal survival. I would not have been as energized by the mission if Brandon had not declared that this was my best idea ever. That push from Brandon ignited a different level of passion.

As I started to share the excitement of my experiences, I discovered others that embraced this mission. They started to ask about my progress, commented on the quotes, and requested that I share my daily posts. As more people became engaged, I realized I had been surrounded by a community that was simultaneously being inspired and inspiring me, as well. Despite the ups and downs of Brandon’s situation, the words of encouragement, the honest sharing of life experiences from others, and the growing interest of this community pushed me, supported me, and excited me.

This is what happens when you engage others on your mission – you create a community that becomes committed and involved in your progress. Your community is there to support you, push you, hold you accountable, and celebrate with you. This is why I love engaging a team mentality in everything I do.

Any and every opportunity you have to become involved in supporting, inspiring, sharing with, and listening to others is an opportunity to build your community. In these challenging times, everyone needs the support of others more than ever. Be open and receptive to listening to the vision and the challenges of others and be honest and authentic in sharing your story. Find ways to inspire and support each other. Build a strong and powerful team around you. The strength, the energy, and the success you will experience will amaze you. Your journey is not a solitary walk. You are never alone and you cannot do it alone—find and build your team. That is where the real gift of your success lives!

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Learning From Experience, Uncategorized

## Focusing On Today

April 28, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of your today.”

I got through yesterday. In many regards, I survived it. I did it by focusing on those tasks, activities, and outcomes that I need to zero in on that will get me to my goal. That said, whether it is yesterday, today, or tomorrow, a piece of me is wandering off thinking about the situation with Brandon. Could I have done something different? Did I live or violate my commitment to him and his recovery? Is there something I need to be doing right now to help or reach out to him? While it is easy to say, focusing on now is not always a simple accomplishment.

One of the great attributes accorded to most successful professional golfers is their ability to focus on the hole they are currently playing. Regardless of what happened on the previous hole, the successful golfers put the events on that hole behind them and start focusing on the next one. Their ability to zero in on the moment defines their ability to be successful. Obviously they cannot totally block everything out, but they have developed the presence and the discipline to maintain focus on the next task at hand.

Bad days and disruptive events are bound to occur in our lives. We need to learn how to focus on the task at hand. Like the professional golfers, we need to put the previous experiences behind us and focus on what is ahead of us. Our ability to accomplish this is directly dependent upon how clear we are about our mission and our vision as it relates to where we are going. Part of the reason golfers can focus on the task at hand is that they are looking at a new hole and creating a vision for their success and accomplishment as it relates to this new challenge. All the skills, gifts, and talents that they have are redeployed on the current mission – the next hole.

A new day is the same to us. Today is a new day, with new challenges and new opportunities for you to focus your skills, talents, energies, and abilities on a new and exciting day. Yesterday is behind you. Put it behind you and start focusing on the promise of today. Whatever happened yesterday does not need to carry over unless you let it. If you need to put it behind you, focus on the opportunities in the present and you will be enriched and excited for today.

One of the uplifting comments I received on Facebook yesterday when sharing about my “Lonelier Ride” was “a lonelier ride, yes, but a ride just the same. If one fails, the other must be stronger.” Regardless of what happened yesterday, today is a new challenge and a new opportunity to live and celebrate your commitments to your goals. Stay focused and keep moving and focus on what is ahead of you not what happened behind you.

Filed Under: Living Your Purpose, Maintaining Focus, Seizing Opportunity, Uncategorized

## A Little Lonelier Journey

April 27, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“While we cannot be responsible for the decisions of others, we are accountable for the choices we make following those decisions.”

It is hard to believe that a little over two weeks ago I was celebrating the completion of the 100 Pedals commitment. On that Sunday morning Brandon and I rode together for the last few miles of that ride and I enjoyed a tremendous sense of accomplishment. Now, two weeks later as I have come down off the mountain, I am experiencing a repeat of the pain, loss and disappointment relating to Brandon’s addiction as I discovered that he cashed his first paycheck and used it for destructive purposes. With that news, I tossed him and his stuff out the door and informed him that I cannot tolerate, accept or live with the decisions anymore.

Nothing is more puzzling, frustrating, or hurtful to me than to see someone make decisions like this. He has been clean for nearly ninety days. He has a job. He has a good friend who has been by his side encouraging him to make good decisions. He had access to a guitar last week for around three days and was able to celebrate and enjoy his music. He was engaged in sharing quotes with me for these posts and would comment on the posts that most resonated with him. He was doing many things quite well. Then this – decisions that derail and destroy every addict’s recovery.

As I share this story, I was reminded of something I said to a friend last week when we were talking about their children. As their son was struggling with changes in his family regarding an impending divorce, I said “your son can be upset and angry with you for your decision in your marriage; however, the choices he makes in response to that are his decisions and you are not accountable for them.”

I cannot control Brandon’s choices. I have learned that already. I have also learned that there is no logical explanation for any of the choices an addict, in recovery or not, makes. What I am struggling with is the decisions I have made in response to his decisions. Is there a way to coach, learn, love, and work through this? Was and is the best answer to make a clear and definitive statement that his failures cannot be supported or accommodated anymore? These are tough questions and there are hundreds of ideas with few clear and defining solutions.

This morning I am left to take the steps in my life to keep moving on in my journey. I learned through 100 Pedals to stay focused and strong even when Brandon is not. I would prefer he were here. I would rather be celebrating another day with him. However, he has made is choices and I have made my decisions. In the scheme of things – life must and does go on. It is just a little lonelier on today’s journey.

Filed Under: Learning From Experience, Living Your Purpose, Maintaining Focus, Uncategorized

## Before the Rainbow Appears

April 25, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.” ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

I was watching CNN yesterday as they reported from a neighborhood in St. Louis devastated by last weekend’s tornado. There was one person interviewed standing in front of what little remained of his house. His business was also based in his home, so everything was destroyed. And, they asked him “what are you going to do?” He had an incredible answer – “Today I calm my wife down and tomorrow we getting busy rebuilding.” In a clear, concise, matter-of-fact, and confident answer this person started looking for his rainbow.

How many times have you planned for an event that was washed out by a rainy day or a massive storm? Every one of has been through it. You cannot and do not plan for or expect bad weather to interrupt your parade. In reality, it happens a great deal. Instead of focusing on the interruption, the destruction, and the disappointment, look up and find the rainbow. There is always something better after the storm.

This past week I experienced my own version of rainfall. My extended week in Michigan started out great. I had a couple of exceptional events –presentations and meetings — until it started raining on my parade. Then, some of the things I had expected to work on got delayed, postponed, or never finalized. What had the prospects for a great business trip didn’t really pan out. Then, I let it affect the rest of my trip. While I enjoyed visiting with friends and watching my favorite softball team play, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I could have because I was still dwelling on the “weather.”

My house didn’t get blown over. My business didn’t get destroyed by a tornado. I really didn’t lose anything important or significant. I simply didn’t have the most productive of business trips. When I read this quote, it spoke right to me. Things may not always go the way you hope, plan or expect. It does not mean all is lost; it merely means that you need to keep looking for the opportunity that will arise from the aftermath of the storm. When things do not go the way we plan, the best thing we can do is calm down, look up and find the rainbow that is destined to come our way. When we are prepared for good things to happen, they will – just not always in our time frame or in the order we expect them to. It is the lesson I am internalizing right now – hope it helps you with something you are working on.

Filed Under: Learning From Experience, Maintaining Focus, Seizing Opportunity, Uncategorized

## True Happiness

April 24, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“True happiness is… to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.” ~ Seneca

Easter weekend has always seemed to be one of those festive weekends where we celebrate a new beginning. Usually it is the official recognition of spring, the end of the lent, and the celebration of life. As I was reading a variety of quotes on fresh starts and new beginnings, I stumbled on this particularly interesting quote. As we continue our quest for continuous improvement, perpetual movement towards our goals, and an obsession with what’s next, it is very important to make time for the present.

When I was on the verge of finishing 100 Pedals, there was a lot of conversation around, what I am going to do next. I wrote in several earlier posts about the struggle I was having with enjoying a sufficient celebration while making certain that I didn’t lose any of the excitement and emerging that the 100 Pedals journey had created. Being satisfied, enjoying your accomplishments, finding joy in the present is not necessarily a bad thing. If you never make time to be happy – how will you know what being happy looks like?

Happiness is a state of mind. You can choose to be happy or you choose to be unhappy. Happiness is defined by you. Things don’t make you happy. More toys, stuff, or trips don’t define happiness. Happiness is what you make it to be and is defined by you at the time you define it. If you are continually looking forward to something else in order to feel happy, you cannot be happy. True happiness is celebrating in the present who you are, what you are and, what you have accomplished, to date. It is not the next big thing; it is the current state of things. Find something to be happy about. It is a choice.

Growing up I was exposed to a mindset that treated everything in the present as not good enough. There had to be the next thing—a new car, a new toy, a new outfit, a new job, a promotion. All these things became responsible as a source for happiness because people could not find happiness within themselves. Your life is, quite simply, what you make it. Making for quiet time alone, recognizing and celebrating one’s success, finishing a book, engaging a friend – are all examples of moments in time where one can find happiness in the present.

Our quest is not the sole source for happiness. It is in the journey, the present moments in time where we realize that we doing really cool things and feeling our positive energy, is where we discover and understand true happiness. Happiness is not in the future, it is all around you and it is in you. Discover and enjoy it today!

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Inspirational Perspectives, Learning From Experience, Uncategorized

## Happiness is Being Consistent

April 21, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.” ~ Freya Madeline Stark

Consistency, continuity, congruence – popular words that are tossed around when discussing effective ways to live our lives. How many people really understand the power of these words? How many people really know what this really means? It is one thing to say who we are and what we stand for, it is an entirely different process to demonstrate it by the way we live our lives. When you live your values, your purpose, and your passion you do not need to tell people who you are; people will recognize, understand and see who you are by the examples in your life. Living the consistency of your commitment in a manner that enables others to see who you are is empowering, gratifying and energizing. Your happiness is connected to the consistency with which you live your live in commitment to and demonstration of what you value most.

I am a big believer that if I have to tell you what I value and am committed to in my life, means that I have not done a very effective job of living my values. The phrase, “do as I say, not as I do” is a great example of being incongruent to our values. We live what we value, if we don’t then we are not yet embracing those values effectively in our lives – yet.

The distance between being who we have defined we want to be and how we are actually living is a source of internal, personal frustration. In attempting to convince others – telling them who we are — is our way of compensating for what we already know to be the truth of our inconsistency to our values and how we live them. It is only when we are living in truth to our values will we find happiness with ourselves.

Many business organizations have statements declaring their value for their team. Yet, they make no effort to educate, develop or effectively lead their teams. How can you be committed to your team if you have no real mechanism that creates or nurtures it? This is incongruence.

Many individuals talk about their passion for loving and caring for others. “Others” is a generic term. How then, can you choose who you love and care for? Either you love and care about everyone; or, you are living an inconsistent value. And, if you only have certain people you will love and care about – declare what that is and be true to those values.

I am committed to being in good health. At forty pounds above the line, I am not living in consistency to my values. I can tell everyone I know my passion for good health. One look at my waistline and you know that I am not living a life consistent to those values.

Live the life that is consistent to what you stand for and who you are. When you live the life that is true to your values, your mission, and your goals you will be happy. Continuity and consistency is how you will find peace and strength in being all you, all the time!

Filed Under: Learning From Experience, Live With Passion, Living Your Purpose, Uncategorized

## About Those Reality Checks

April 20, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“You can’t cash a reality check, until you to make an invested commitment to change your future.”

How many times have you gone through the process of a reality check and decided that the effort and the commitment required to change, improve, or go for something was not simply worth the outcome?

This is called the audit process (The Third A). This is where we look at our situation, examine what is required to improve, change or accomplish and decided that the return on effort, return on investment, or risk is simply too great relative to the outcome or the current situation.

Your reality check is actually keeping you in check and not enabling or encouraging you to take action. This is perfectly acceptable. For, if you are not ready to commit to something and your evaluation of the process says it is not worth it, then it is not time – yet. Keep in mind, like any investment, you cannot start reaping the benefits until you actually make the investment. If your reality check is keeping you from taking action, you need to be honest and aware of the situation and determine if this is what you really want. Do you really want to delay the vision and dreams that you have for your future? Is this investment really as risky or unrewarding as your reality check or audit tells you?

Part of the awareness, assessment and audit process is designed to help you clearly understand where you are, where you want to be, and what it will take to get you there. The reality check can be that voice of caution and self-limiting beliefs that are fighting to keep you stuck and not allowing you to move forward toward your dreams. This is why you need to revisit the conversation regarding where you are and where you want to be. Investing in anything involves risk. There is always the potential of failure. What is worse, moving forward and failing, only to move forward again; or, not moving forward at all and deciding somewhere down the road you wish you had been moving all along?

Before you allow your reality check to stop you from investing in a commitment to a new future, please make certain you are clear on what that means as it relates to remaining in your present. If you can live with the present for now and your future can wait – stay put. However, if you realize that your present needs to change, make the commitment and the investment. That reality check is a tricky process, use it wisely and with a positive belief in your dreams and your abilities when you do it.

Filed Under: Focusing On Your Vision, Learning From Experience, Maintaining Focus, Make A Commitment, Uncategorized

## It Still Takes Time

April 18, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“No one can grow a tree faster than it chooses, but we can celebrate the fruit each new season brings.” ~ Michael Goodman

The minute I read this quote, I started thinking about asparagus farming. Once planted it takes three years before the asparagus can be harvested. Imagine planting something and cultivating and working it for three seasons before you can actually enjoy the fruits of your labor. In a world where many of us have come to expect instant gratification on our efforts, this would be almost impossible to deal with.

This is why so many people struggle at staying engaged in working toward a goal. Effective and sustainable weight loss programs say that losing two pounds a week is ideal. Under that formula it would take twenty weeks to lose forty pounds. That is why so many people go for a secret formula of pills and shakes to lose forty pounds in half the time. Unless they have developed some understand of what really causes the weight gain in the first place, all that weight usually returns. Instead of learning how to manage a balance and healthy diet with exercise, which is sustainable, our society chases the quick fix, get it fast solution that offers no real long-term results and benefits.

In reality, much of what we want to accomplish will take work, discipline, and time. The successful experience of 100 Pedals was not accomplished in 100 days. It has been an ongoing process of over eighteen months of learning, exploring, failing, and finally, success. The challenge of the ride — the bike rides themselves — was achieved in 100 days. The experience and the power of the journey started over eighteen months ago and continues on today after the rides have been celebrated. This was a long and challenging and rewarding experience that started long before I got on the bike over 100 days ago.

The key to any of us realizing our goals and celebrating and sustainable and joyous outcome to our ongoing journey is understanding that it may take longer than we would like to get there. There are no shortcuts to enlightenment and achievement. The journey in itself is the lesson. It is just like the asparagus farmer spending several years cultivating and developing his crop. There are no shortcuts.

When done right, with love and care, there is a wonderful outcome. Our dreams and goals can all be realized when we discover that learning, patience, discipline, and commitment are all part of the process. Without it, we may be able to reach the finish line; however, we will have little understanding of how we got there and how to leverage the experience and the lessons along the way. It is those experiences over time while we work on our goals that strengthen us through the rest of our journey. Without them, we have little to guide us in what is guaranteed to be future struggles. Skip the shortcut, do the work, and celebrate the little accomplishments that you experience along the way. The fruits of your labor will be worth it!

Filed Under: Learning From Experience, Maintaining Focus, Uncategorized

## The Forces Behind Us

April 17, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“The power behind me is greater than the problem in front of me.”

Yesterday Brandon received word that one of his friends from the street had lost their battle to drugs. It is a sobering (no pun intended) reminder of the life and death battle people with addiction and in recovery face. This is second such experience in the last few months. The previous one was a person who had been clean for thirty days and seemed to be embracing his new life. This most recent experience was someone who Brandon had confronted and warned of impending doom if they didn’t do something to change. You can tell people what they need to know and you can attempt to will them to a different place – they have to want it more.

Regardless the battle, at its worst, there is a sense of despair and loneliness. There is that moment in our lives where we look at all the noise and negativity associated with our struggles and we can easily feel all alone in having to deal with them. I can attest to my personal experiences with Brandon, that there were many times I truly believed that I was the only one feeling and managing this pain. Then, I discovered I was wrong.

When I reflect back on the past eighteen months, I had people walk into my life on a regular basis offering real advice, love, support, and guidance. While I did not always embrace their gifts to me, I realize now that I was never really alone. There was a stronger power behind me that was offering and providing me the strength to deal with the issue. I wasn’t always in a place to receive, accept, or recognize it.

I am grateful for the people in my life that represents and bring that power and that love. I realize how much they were offering me. I am grateful that Brandon has made as much progress as he has in his challenges. He is still here. As we were recently reminded, his battle is a life and death one. Whether he realizes or recognizes or embraces the power of the forces behind him, I cannot say. However, for the rest of us – we are never alone to face our battles. Every one of us has a greater force behind us to help us manage what is in front of us. Trust and believe in that power, recognize and embrace those resources when they touch you, and never stop believing in the your ability to work through it.

Filed Under: Giving Love, Inspirational Perspectives, Learning From Experience, Uncategorized

## Having Fun!!

April 16, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Searching is half the fun: life is much more manageable when thought of as a scavenger hunt as opposed to a surprise party.” ~ Jimmy Buffett

I sensed that my son was feeling a little down or, better yet, off. He seemed a combination of blue and restless. When I asked him how he was doing his answer was, “I am frustrated. I am just not having any fun.” Coming from young man who has made tremendous strides in the last ninety days was disappointing. I would have thought that he would have been enjoying the celebration of his continued successes and progress. Instead, he was still looking at the distance he still needs to cover in his journey, rather than on how far he has come.

In sharing my thoughts with him about his mood and his progress, I was attempting to get him to reflect on what happens if he stopped his progress, regressed, and started over. Eventually, he would find himself back at the same spot he is in today, except further in on in his life. If the journey looks long today, imagine how long it looks if you have to start over later on in the future. I am not entirely convinced I changed his perspective; but, I am confident I interrupted his thinking and provided him something to think about.

There are periods in our life and on our journey where not much happens. There are no massive breakthroughs, there are no finish lines to cross, and there are no symbolic wins. There will be those days where progress is merely a matter of staying focused to your goals and your commitment and staying in motion toward them. When those moments come, like they have for Brandon, you may not be having much fun.

This quote resonates with me for one simple reason – sometimes you need to create your own fun within your routine. Treat something you are doing as an adventure. Explore a different way to manage, handle, or complete a task. Take a different road home and see what you learn. Try a different flavor coffee and see how you like it. While doing these things, explore the opportunity to get excited about simply changing it up.

For many of us, we believe there is only one path to an outcome. In reality, there are multiple paths to an outcome. Today’s bike ride was a perfect example of this. I went on three streets I almost never ride on. I rode a significant part of my main route backwards because of it. When I went to map it, I had to focus on where I went, because it was so different from my habits. I was able to find excitement in riding from an entirely different perspective.

Your journey will not always be fun! Getting to a goal will be unbelievable! Sometimes in the middle of the routine, you may simply need to force yourself to bust out of you routine and celebrate your success in a different way. There is a lot of fun in that!!

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Inspirational Perspectives, Uncategorized