100 Pedals

Recovery for Parents Dealing with Addiction in their Families

## Inspiration — Helping Others See The Finish Line

May 30, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

The following is an excerpt from the 100Pedals Workshop — The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership.

> If you’re going to inspire me to follow you what does crossing the finish line look like?

> I don’t care that you’re going to give me a medal. Emotionally, spiritually, physically — what am I feel when I cross that finish line.

> Exhilaration, joy, crying? Am I going to have a bunch of people cheering with a band playing and celebrating. Tell me what it [success] looks like so I have a vision of the outcome. Because if I don’t have a vision I can’t do this.

> You can put as many bricks in the bag. You can ask me to carry them, and I’ll carry them for a while; but, those bricks are going to get heavier every day. I’ll carry as many as you need me to give, as long as I know what’s in it for me emotionally, spiritually, physically. What does “getting there” mean?

> We can hatch all the business plans we want. If we don’t inspire other people to follow us — so what?

Filed Under: Focusing On Your Vision, Inspirational Perspectives Tagged With: inspiration and vision, inspiring others, leadership, leadership vision, leading others, vision and leadership

## Habits You Can Commit To

May 29, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

Loved this article about “decoy habits.” According to author Gretchen Rubin, “a decoy habit is a habit that a person claims to want to adopt—but really doesn’t intend to do. Often, decoy habits reflect other people’s values or priorities.” In other words, decoy habits are behaviors or activities we say we want to embrace because we see what others have celebrated or realized some level of success or credibility doing; but, are things we really are not all that interested in.

This is the fork in the road where “should” and “commitment” meet.

I used to run a lot. I loved to run. I enjoyed getting up early in the morning and take off down the road for a solitary jaunt. I loved the peace of the run and the cadence of my feet on the asphalt, while watching the quiet of the early morning transform into daylight.

I had many a friend say to me, “I wish I could run like you do. I just don’t have the time.” That is a “decoy habit.”

If desire truly existed, time would be made. Instead, expressing regret over an unwillingness to take action is easier than owning the creation of and commitment to a habit.

As you explore what you love, what you desire, what you will take action on — avoid the decoy habit. If you desire something — own it, live it, act on it, and keep after it. Or, quit pretending to have a desire and move on to something you can and will commit to.

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Make A Commitment, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: decoy habits, Gretchen Rubin, honoring commitments, honoring your commitments, making commitments, The Happiness Project

## The Power of Letting Go

May 28, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Disperse hard attitudes with gentleness.”

This morning’s I Ching was another kind reminder that the obstacles faced are best tackled in quiet confidence, perseverance, and faith. Rather than do battle with the challenges that are currently before me, I am reminded to trust my journey, stay on my path, and find peace midst the chaos.

Embracing the emotions of judgement, anger, fear, anxiety, or desire fosters makes us structured and inflexible — especially in moments of conflict. As these emotions are adverse to our peace, they are also the emotions that will slow or interrupt our progress.

I have historically taken on conflict. Put me in an environment where there is a battle of wills and I will fight to the end. If the battle is between someone I struggle to respect or admire, the battle is even greater and more intense. The outcome of these conflicts rarely ended well. Even if I “won” victory came at some cost.

Despite all that I have accomplished in the past few years, this quote is a stern warning to strengthen one of my weaker traits. In the face of conflict, obstruction, or adversity girding for battle or fighting through is not the path to accomplishment.

The correct path to peace, joy and happiness in life is to face conflict with gentleness. Discover and embrace the positive energy that drives me — write, ride, read, and meditate. From this point of positive emotion — superior emotion is what the I Ching calls it — the negative energy of the obstacle flows past me and the answers or the solution is presented to me.

When life’s adversity jumps in front of me and attempts to slow my journey, the best course of action is to go that place of gentleness — trust, faith, and confidence. From this place of peace the solution or the opportunity is discovered. Avoid the conflict, embrace the peace from within.

Filed Under: Managing Adversity, Practice Humility, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: discovering peace, finding peace, I Ching, living in peace, managing adversity, managing conflict

## Slaying The Beast Within Us

May 23, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Everybody has a beast…this isn’t a concept…exclusive to addicts and alcoholics. The beast is an entity that lives inside of everybody; it’s your negative self-talk.”

From my first hand experiences to listening to hundreds of stories from parents, siblings, adults, and children, I have become painfully educated on the impact of addiction on people’s lives. Be it alcohol, drugs, video games, and gambling I have heard incredible stories about promising lives ruined by some form of addiction or another.

I have learned a great deal about the triggers for and impact of addiction. Though addiction is a direct and destructive route to ruin, there are other demons out there that also have powerful, adverse, though more subtle influences on people’s lives.

Everyone of us lives with a demon of our own and much of it is embedded in our own self-perception and self-talk. While this demon may not be as physically or psychologically as damaging as addiction, it can still interrupt a promising life in its own silent, tortuous way.

The prompt for this perspective was an article by Dr. Howard Samuels entitled, “Addiction: Everybody Has A Beast.” Samuels asserts that in alcoholics or addicts, the beast is obvious. For everyone else — “normies” as he calls them — recognition and awareness of the beast within us is not as prevalent. This is not to say that alcoholics are better in dealing with their beast, they merely have a greater sense of what that beast is.

As I continue to meet and interact with people — addicts and non-addicts alike — there is a great deal of insightful truth here. Everyone I meet struggles with something. Much of it is related to self-perception, doubt, fear, anxiety, and self-worth. For the addict, they have found a way to tame the beast — it is called escape. Many “normies” simply attempt to suppress or ignore the beast, if they are aware the beast exists. Regardless, there is a beast that lives within every one of us.

According to Dr. Samuels, the cure is linked to making a concise decision:

> And so the challenge, then, is re-educating yourself and learning how not to listen to that voice that plays you out of pocket every time. And in my experience, nobody does that alone. It takes work to create a space where you can investigate the validity of the voices that motivate and inspire you — and to transform those voices into voices that motivate and inspire you in a positive way.

> We decide how we want to live and we decide what we want from our lives. But that’s only possible once we’ve made a conscious commitment to stop being human piñatas — stop being victims — and truly take responsibility for our lives and face our problems head-on; because it is then, and only then — whether we’re addict/alcoholics or normies — that we can truly slay the beast within.

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Lessons In Addiction Tagged With: addiction, addiction and recovery, Dr. Howard Samuels, emotional health, emotional wellness

## Life’s Occupational Hazards

May 22, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“If you worry about all the bad things that could happen to you, you will be paralyzed.” ~ Evelyn Stevens, Professional Cyclist

There are no guarantees in life. Everything we do, from the time we are born until the time we die is take risks. Depending upon our experience and the depth of the pain in some of our failings, our risk tolerance might be lower than others. However, if we get to the point in any situation where we spend more time worrying, planning, fretting, and organizing around a situation — we are finished.

This quote was taken from an article entitled, “Cycling’s Occupational Hazard.” I originally thought this was going to be an article about getting hit by a car. I have first hand experience with that type of cycling hazard. Instead, this article talked about how professional cyclists routinely live with the risks of serious crashes. Despite the risk and some cyclists personal experience with a calamitous crash, they still continue to race. They race because it is something they love and they have a passion for it.

Despite the risk, the adverse experiences, and the painful falls we must live fully and embrace our passion. To deny it out of fear or failure or adversity leaves a greater weight on our spirit than any crash or failure ever will. Life has its “occupational hazards.” Face them, experience them, and move on from them. In every crash is where we grow most and moving from there is how celebrate what we love the most about our life.

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Live With Passion, Living Your Purpose, Managing Adversity, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: Evelyn Stevens, moving beyond fear, taking risks

## Creating A New Ending

May 21, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” ~ Carl Bard

Our adverse, historical experiences prevents far too many from accomplishing a great deal in the future. The experiences of failure, pain, loss, distrust or disappointment in someone or something, moving forward without extricating those negative emotions is nearly impossible.

While no one can discount the pain of those scars and experiences, each of us needs to remember these were valuable lessons from our journey, not the final destination in our dreams. In every adverse experience is a lesson, an opportunity to improve, and a call to keep moving. Armed with the power of hindsight , clarity, and commitment we all have an opportunity to be more successful in our quest – provided we keep moving.

Your future starts now. With a renewed sense of purpose and confidence, the opportunity to create new beginnings and new endings, is very real.

Moving toward accomplishment requires that — despite the fears, the adverse experiences, the scars of pain and failure – we believe we can and will make a new beginning from this commitment and this path. Remember, when you begin from a focused and confident place of peace and clarity – all things are possible.

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Maintaining Focus Tagged With: Carl Bard, embracing new opportunities, learning from failure, learning from the past, making a new ending

## The Path To Accomplishment

May 20, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

Far too many years ago, I attended a workshop focused around self-development. The workshop taught me how to take myself past the limits of what I believed possible. I loved the lesson and the experience of that workshop. It was the first time I was exposed to the notion that anything is possible if I do not allow myself to put limits on the quest or outcome.

As I reflect back on that experience, I am certain that one of my favorite quotes sums up one of the lessons best:

> You don’t know what you are capable of until you put yourself in a position to do something you have never done before.

How many times have we shared an idea or a big dream with someone and their first response is, “that is so cool, how are you going to do that?”

Far too many hopes, dreams, and ideas have been killed by that question — whether someone asked us or we asked that ourselves.

You do not need to know that answer. If your quest is beyond the scope of what you have already accomplished, it is impossible for you to know how to get there. Discovering how to get there is part of the process!

There only three things that you need to know in order for you to start and maintain an accomplished path on your journey - vision, commitment and awareness. If you are doing something you have never done before, how can you possibly know what it will take to get there. How other people did something similar is not important — for it was their vision, their quest, and their commitment that drove them.

Instead of looking for answers as to how to get where you desire to go, that this approach:

1. Clearly define your vision: Understand, embrace, and internalize why you are pursuing your dream. Be clear as to what your finish line looks like.

2. Make a commitment: Once you know what your vision is, all you need is that first step. From there, it is a matter of commitment and awareness. Inspired, driven, and supported by your desire to cross that finish line, do something every single day, without exception to push yourself forward in the direction of your dream.

3. Be aware: Pay attention on your journey. The next steps, actions, and opportunities present themselves as you go provided you are focused on your vision and committed to your dream. You will discover the answers as you go and learn as you move forward.

Remember, until you know how to accomplish something, you have to learn how to do it in the first place. You can only learn how to do something or to succeed at something is to put yourself in a position to accomplish it. Get started, get busy, and enjoy the journey!!

Filed Under: Maintaining Focus, Make A Commitment, Seizing Opportunity, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: 100Pedals, awareness, awareness and learning, creating a vision, embracing your vision, focus, journey lessons, learning from awareness, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership, vision

## Wisdom Is Knowing How To Stay On Course

May 16, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

”The practical road is not always the easiest to travel; but, it takes wisdom to be willing to take it.”

Getting to where we desire to be is never easy. It requires sacrifice, focus, risk, and belief. The road we need to travel to realize our dreams has no shortcuts, no express lanes, and no clearly defined route. The only clarity we bring to our journey is the vision we have of our success.

The only obstacle we face on this journey is our willingness to take paths we would rather avoid than face. Making a commitment to live the life we desire offers no shortcuts. This does not mean we don’t look for them — we often do. It would be great if we could find a detour or shortcut around the most difficult, challenging part of our journey.

It is those difficult stretches, where success is seemingly blocked by adversity, that makes our journey a success. We cannot succeed at anything exceptional without working hard at it. Adversity provides the lessons we are not willing to teach ourselves.

I have witnessed multiple experiences watching my son Brandon struggle in his addictive state to make the difficult decisions in his life. The more he avoided the hard ones, the more he struggled to find his path through recovery. While the situations in our lives are different, the same can be said about our difficult assignments and steps toward change and accomplishment — they cannot be avoided. In our success and accomplishment in dealing with these challenges comes inspiration, confidence, and experience in facing the next one.

There will be difficult and challenging paths on our road to accomplishment. They will not always be fun, easy, or readily exciting. Future, sustainable momentum is directly linked to our willingness to have the wisdom and commitment to face those challenges and create a positive outcome from them. It is from there we celebrate our accomplishment and develop the confidence to keep moving.

Filed Under: Lessons In Addiction, Make A Commitment, Managing Adversity Tagged With: managing adversity, staying on course, staying on the hard road, taking the hard road

## Addicted, Homeless, Arrested

May 16, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

The following is an excerpt from my recently released book, “Behind the Dumpster — A story of a son’s addiction, a father’s love and a bike ride.”

> “As the story unfolded, it turned out that Brandon had spent about two weeks in the halfway house before he was kicked out for using drugs again. Once he lost the comfort of the halfway house, he had nowhere else to go. Brandon ended up spending the rest of the summer and part of that fall before he was arrested homeless, living on the street.

> Brandon was living near a dumpster behind a strip mall about two miles from where he grew up. The homeless chapter of his story came to an end when he was arrested very early on a Sunday after the local police received a call about a suspicious person as he sat on a park bench at five in the morning. He was arrested because of his open warrant for skipping his court dates.

> While Brandon may never look upon his being arrested as divine intervention, I can only imagine the path his life could have taken had he not been arrested when he was. The arrest enabled his secret to come out, his story to go public, and the people who loved him the most to finally be aware of how serious his problems were.

> Brandon was heading to jail. Until then, he was seriously addicted and had nowhere to go. Were it not for his sister being in town to start this chain of events to rescue him, he may never have had the opportunity that love and family offered him. We are lucky and very fortunate that he was arrested. ”

Behind the Dumpster is a story of adversity, love, and the gift of clarity. It reveals the pain of my real life encounter with addiction and how I somehow managed to discover a gift that changed my life forever. Behind the Dumpster is honest, revealing, and inspiring. It is a story that hurts while bringing harsh reality to the painful experiences and lessons of addiction in the lives of those we love. It is also a celebration as I share the joy that comes with finding opportunity in the midst of life’s worst experiences. It is my story. I am here to share it, hoping that you will find inspiration and guidance from it.

Filed Under: Behind the Dumpster, Giving Love Tagged With: addiction, addiction and parenting, Addiction story, Behind the Dumpster, Dave Cooke, facing adversity

## Embracing Our Fears

May 14, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

When I first watched this video, it brought tears to my eyes. I was moved by the sentiment of the moment and the words.

Fear is a very powerful word. It is in our moments of fear — doubt, worry, pain, confusion — that we struggle with simply being comfortable living in the moment of the life placed before us. When we let go of all our fears, greatness exists before us, through us, and with us.

I encourage you to read the words to this poem. Study them carefully. Are you embracing the greatness that exists within you and allowing yourself to freely, passionately share that which drives, inspires, and guides you? If not, let go of the fear that is holding you back.

You are a gift to the world. You have a gift to share. It is time to embrace without fear the opportunity for the world to realize how great you and your gift really are!

> Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamson

> it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

> Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

> Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

> It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

> We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
> talented and fabulous?

> Actually, who are you not to be?

> You are a child of God.

> Your playing small does not serve the world.

> There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

> people won’t feel insecure around you.

> We were born to make manifest the glory of
> God that is within us.

> It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

> And as we let our own light shine,
> we unconsciously give other people
> permission to do the same.

> As we are liberated from our own fear,
> Our presence automatically liberates others.

> —Marianne Williamson

Filed Under: Live With Passion, Living Your Purpose Tagged With: facing your fears, ignoring fear, living fearlessly, living with passion, living with purpose, managing fear, Marianne Williamson, sharing your gift