100 Pedals

Recovery for Parents Dealing with Addiction in their Families

## Reflections and Challenges

September 24, 2025 by Dave Cooke 3 Comments

“I didn’t always learn from my experiences when I could. Good thing I took good notes.”

Your life is a huge virtual classroom and there are lessons being taught everyday. Be a good student — pay attention, listen closely, ask for help.

As many of you know, the trigger for 100Pedals started with my experiences with Brandon’s addiction. The chaos, the pain, the disruptive behaviors all took me on a path through my adversity to a better sense of clarity, purpose, and opportunity. It has been a difficult journey, I continue to struggle and learn through my issues and his. For the most part, I have discovered, learned, lived, and experienced a great deal.

While the tipping point in this journey may have started with Brandon’s life choices, much of what I have shared is more of a compilation of the lessons, experiences, and reflection throughout my life. We are all students in our lives. What we live, what we do, the choices we make, and the decisions others make around us are all learning opportunities. What we learn, how much we learn, what we internalize, and how we apply those lessons are dependent upon who we are as students. Just as we all have a unique style, personality, and gifts, we also all learn differently.

I was a lousy student in school. I am not too sure I was always the best student in life. I didn’t always learn from my experiences when I could. Good thing I took good notes. Fortunately I have a good memory and have been blessed with the ability to recall and reflect on the lessons that were offered me even when I didn’t absorb the teachings at the time.

While my experiences with Brandon’s chaos triggered in me a willingness to change, learn, and trust, I was also fortunate I had a wonderful library to draw upon, as well. This has been a great blessing to me. I have a lot to learn from and the lessons can still apply today.

Today’s article emanates from a recent conversation I had with Brandon. I started thinking about all stuff we all go through. While I am not an accomplished student of the Twelve Step program on Alcoholics Anonymous, I have a pretty solid handle on the first three. Wherever we are in our life, whether we believe in a spiritual being or not, and whether our challenge is related to addiction or not; these first three steps are a wonderful, inspirational, and poignant lesson for each of us as we embrace adversity and change.

As I look at these three steps, I am going to provide the straight quote and then offer my thoughts on how I embrace, internalize and live these three thoughts. I hope you find something for you in this, as well.

1. “Our lives had become unmanageable.” I am not happy with the life I am living. I desire a change, I know I am capable of living a more fulfilling, inspiring, happy, and peaceful life. I am committed to discovering something better, because I know this is not working for me.
2. “A power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Whatever it is I need to do, I know that I cannot do it alone. I do not have the strength, experience, resources, or abilities to manage this transformation alone. I will need the wisdom, guidance, and support of something that is collectively more capable than me.
3. “Turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” I will trust the wisdom of those I surround myself with. I will not focus on what I want to do, but I will trust in them to guide me to what I need to do. Because I have trusted these resources, I will not try to change or control their guidance; but, I will internalize, listen, and believe in them. I chose them because I trust them, in order for this change to occur my actions must reward and demonstrate that trust.

It is never easy to make the changes necessary in our lives. It takes work, time, and an unrelenting commitment. Most importantly, you cannot do it alone. Your trusted resources are the key. You cannot get there by yourself or by fighting with yourself. Find your resources, embrace them, commit to them, and trust them — that is what they are there for.

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Make A Commitment, Managing Adversity Tagged With: alcoholics anonymous, learning from others, lessons from others, the twelve steps, trust, trusted resources, trusting your resources

## Living, Learning, Loving

September 17, 2025 by Dave Cooke 3 Comments

Your story will not be told by you, it will be shared and lived through those you have touched, loved, and inspired along the way!

Last week I dropped the following poem on my timeline in Facebook. I have no idea where it came from or what inspired me to write a poem. Just like random songs pop in our heads, this poem just showed up.

When I looked at it this morning as I prepared to share my weekly inspiration, I started to reflect on my current life view. I would love to proudly and boldly share that I have had a great week or two. Unfortunately, I have not been flying on wings lately. The past few weeks have been a massive struggle for me. I won’t get into the details other than I will share that while I have been minimally living my commitment, I am not feeling very positive about life. The lack of progress on my mission, some of the pressures that we all face are bigger than normal, and I am facing some obstacles that I am struggling to ignore, move past, or simply get around. We have all been there. Some of you might be there right now.

When I reread this poem from Friday, it made me think. It made me re-examine my attitude, my perspective, my challenges, and my commitment. Take a moment to read this poem…

> #### Life is good, life is bad, life is fun, life is sad!

> #### You live your life day to day,

> #### And learn your lessons along the way.

> #### When your life is over and the song is sung,

> #### What will be your story of what you’ve done?

> #### Celebrate each day and share your gift,

> #### Inspire those around you and give them a lift.

> #### And when you have nothing else to share,

> #### Don’t be surprised to find someone there,

> #### With a hug or smile or a loving smack,

> #### To offer something to you or to thank you back!

> #### Remember it is not what you become that makes you great,

> #### It is how you touched, inspired, and loved along the way!!

We live our life over the long haul. Unfortunately, we all keep score on a daily basis. When we keep score on a daily basis, tracking progress is difficult, because progress is incremental. Expecting a big shift or change in outcomes from one day to the next, is unreasonable and distracting. The road of our journey is continuous and long — it lasts a lifetime. Measuring and tracking progress on a daily basis is expecting too much in too short a time.

The best activity we can engage in is to live and celebrate our accomplishments related to our commitment. When we celebrate little accomplishments we build confidence, maintain momentum, and we make progress. Sometimes this simply has to be sufficient — for we cannot always have the wind at our back!

The story of your life will not be measured or told in that one time you celebrated an incredible accomplishment or hit that monstrous goal. For that is only a moment in a long series of interactions. The story of your life will be measured by how you used, shared, and developed your gifts, talents, and experiences to guide, support, love, and teach others over your lifetime.

The story of your life will not and cannot be told by you. It will be told by those who were touched and impacted by you. The power of that story will not be measured in how the story is told; rather, it will be measured by how your inspiration, support, guidance, and love live on and through others and are passed on to others.

As I sit here today, dealing with the frustrating distractions that are troubling me, I have to remind myself of what I expect of me. Even though I am not satisfied with what I desire, what I believe I need, or am not pleased with all the answers I desire for my life, that is not what is really important. For those are selfish thoughts.

There are people in my life and in my world, who are looking for the advice, support, guidance, love and perspectives that I have to offer. I cannot get so caught up in my negative energy that I cannot freely give or share of my gifts, talents, and experiences. It is my commitment and my passion to be there for others, regardless.

Every day that I make my unique talents and energy available to others, I am living my commitment. Every day I live my commitment is another day to celebrate the progress of my journey. While I don’t always feel or see the progress, it doesn’t matter. Little steps lead to big outcomes and I am not going to lose or give up my momentum for any reason!!

Filed Under: Maintaining Focus, Make A Commitment Tagged With: dealing with adversity, dealing with conflict, managing adversity, your story

## Mirror Mirror On The Wall…

September 10, 2025 by Dave Cooke 5 Comments

“We can’t live in front of the mirror, we live in the world — spend your time where you can serve others the most.”

Every one of us takes a moment, or longer, every day looking in the mirror. We rely on our mirror to provide us a preview before we head out the door. While looking in the mirror we also take a moment to critique or evaluate ourselves. These are usually judgmental assessments regarding style, look, weight, health, prosperity or age. If you are like me, you may have reconsidered, even changed the outfit you were planning on wearing once that mirror offered its opinion.

Getting ready for the day can sometimes be a project. When we have a big meeting, a date, or a special event, we may overwork the mirror to make certain everything is perfect. Despite our best efforts, sometimes we run out of time and head out the door not entirely confident we look the way we wished we could or should.

That mirror can be a big distraction. When we look at our reflection, we are not looking at only our exterior appearance; but, we also allow some of our internal perspectives kick-in as well. Have you ever noticed that when you are confident, happy, relaxed, or energized the mirror project is not a big deal. Yet, if you are having a bad day, feeling a little less than yourself, or simply not feeling very confident, that mirror seems to scream out all of your failings, shortcomings, and lack of worth.

The mirror is a reflection of more than how you look, it is also a reflection of how you feel about yourself. When you look at the mirror and allow the mirror to remind you that you are too old, too ugly, too fat, not good looking enough you are empowering the mirror — your perception of self — to distract you from what is really important.

Your energy, your enthusiasm, your passion and your gifts cannot be captured by the reflection in the mirror. These can only be realized and discovered through the celebrations you have with yourself every day about what you accomplished in your active, authentic engagement with others.

The next time you are having an introspective moment — those moments where you are looking in a real or virtual mirror and judging yourself — think about who you are instead of who you are not! Get away from looking and focusing on what you would like to change, alter, or improve and give yourself credit — love yourself — for the greatness that already exists within you. Focus on what you have accomplished that day or in the previous day. Focus on your interactions with others and what you celebrated, enjoyed and offered to others in those moments. Focus on the energy you enjoy being you at your best. Celebrate what you accomplished, not what you didn’t.

Instead of looking at our reflection in the mirror, look out the window and see the world. See the people, feel the energy, and embrace the opportunity to engage. There are plenty of places for us to authentically celebrate and share what we have to offer the world. None of us have the luxury of spending all kinds of time working on making improvements to temporarily alter our appearance, when the world needs the unique gifts, talents, skills and abilities we have to offer right now!

The mirror may offer a reflection, but it is a distorted reflection. The view through the window provides you an complete perspective what matters most! Make a difference, quit getting prepping and critiquing, and engage — the time is now!

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Live With Passion, Living Your Purpose, Maintaining Focus, Seizing Opportunity Tagged With: authenticity, being the real you, being you, celebrating you, celebrating your accomplishments, celebrating your passion, loving you

## It Is Your Purpose That Drives You

September 3, 2025 by Dave Cooke 3 Comments

Ah yes, the unique power and influence of a fortune cookie. Every once in awhile I will get one that gets my attention. The photo is from the latest of those incredibly insightful, well-timed fortune cookies.

I have always been a huge believer that a focused effort delivers desired outcomes. Put your head down, plow forward, stay focused and committed — you will get there. Even though I initially felt that much of my original 100Pedals success was the result of a focused commitment to a desired outcome, I discovered that I really didn’t have a great understanding of what my desired outcome was until I had an opportunity to reflect on the accomplishment.

Initially I believed that the challenge of 100 consecutive days for one hour was my test. I focused on one hour, every day for one hundred days. It was this activity and this outcome where I courageously focused my efforts. I had initially created a big goal, with a big challenge, that was going to test my mental and physical abilities to accomplish them. Achieving this was going to take all of my abilities of will and determination to get there. This was where my head was when I first started out on the 100Pedals quest. As I celebrated the completion of my early rides, I reminded myself about the importance of the power of my commitment to get there. I believed my effort, my attitude, and my sheer determination was going to get me through to the finish line — I was partially correct.

What really brought me to the starting gate and through to the finish line was the creation of a clear purpose and direction for my life. I was unhappy, frustrated, and destroyed by my son’s addiction driven choices. I was frustrated in my experiences helping him fight a battle he wasn’t yet interested in waging. My life was out of control and I knew I needed to do something different to get control and clarity in my life.

Control and clarity in my life was my purpose. The direction I chose was a series of bike rides. My commitment to my purpose and the path I selected is what made 100Pedals an accomplished journey. The one hour rides were not the challenge — embracing a path to control and clarity was my challenge. Because I was committed to this transformation in my life — my purpose and my direction were clear.

When you examine the challenges placed before you — focus on your purpose and discovering a simple path for heading in the necessary direction. You do not need to map the course, the journey, or the path before you start. In fact, mapping it out, eliminates the freedom to get lost, to discover, to experience the unknown or to roam on your journey. All these are essential aspects of your journey.

I have been excited by the experiences of many who are on their 100Day Challenge. Those who created enormous challenges without much clarity of purpose or a tightly defined path, struggled. Their struggle was not the result of a weak desire to impact their life. It was more associated with the fact their purpose was not clear and their path was too defined or structured.

Successful journeys are best accomplished when we simply start on one. The path is yet to be defined and the outcome reflects a clear purpose or vision. This allows us to embrace all that is introduced to us. It enables us to wander — where we learn, discover, and experience the road our journey takes us on. Because we are clearly committed to an unconstrained and loosely defined trip, we find energy in doing the little things every day we need to do because our vision, purpose and direction are clear. The positive experiences associated with a journey of this type takes little effort, offers incredible inspiration, and gives us energy which makes this activity something we want to embrace, celebrate and enjoy every single day.

Next time you take on a challenge — keep it simple. Focus on your purpose or vision and merely define the direction. Trust your heart to give you the path and you do the rest by simply honoring your commitment. The outcome of this journey will be something you could not have defined or predicted when you start. And, the lessons, the experiences, and the energy in your accomplishment will amaze you. My personal 100Pedals journey is a testament to this truth!

Filed Under: Learning From Experience, Living Your Purpose, Maintaining Focus, Make A Commitment Tagged With: embracing the journey, embracing the unknown, embracing your vision, focus on your vision, honoring your commitments, making commitments, taking a challenge, the power of vision, the power of your vision