100 Pedals

Real solutions for the parents of addicted children

## Straight talk about Addiction and Recovery

April 30, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment
http://traffic.libsyn.com/theaddictionconversation/Michael_Manning.mp3

Not many people survive a thirty year addiction filled life unless it is followed by a nine year celebration of recovery. Today’s guest, Michael Manning, is one of those special people. Not only has he been celebrating his nine year recovery he has utilized his experience and his journey to teach, coach, and counsel those who are in their own addiction battle.

Like many of our addiction conversation podcasts, Michael brings his personal brand of honesty, passion, perspective, and truth our interaction. Please join the conversation as Michael shares his views and experiences with drug courts, parents of addicted children, societal stigmas, and rehab facilities. There’s a little something in here for all of us. Enjoy!

Filed Under: Addiction, featured, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction Tagged With: addiction, addiction in the family, drug addiction, parenting and addiction, recovery

## When Prevention Fails

April 28, 2025 by Dave Cooke 10 Comments

If you’re reading this blog post, you’re probably the parent of a child addicted to drugs or alcohol. If so, I’ve got news for you. That big problem you think is standing in the way of your child’s recovery isn’t your major obstacle.

You are. That’s right. Parents are the big problem, and not in the way you might think.

I know what I’m talking about. I’m the parent of a child addicted to drugs. As parents, we believe we know what’s best for our children. Deep down we keep thinking we should be able to figure this out. We should be able to save our child from this kind of danger. Worst of all, we believe we can handle this alone. We always have in the past. Why not now, right?

Well, you can’t. Not this time. Your child’s drug use isn’t about you or your parenting skills. And it’s not something you can manage all by yourself. It’s too big.

To help your child, you need to get yourself out of the way. The best place to start is by NOT believing your child’s story about the addiction. Instead, focus on reality. Addiction is a highly complicated issue, and it’s bigger than both of you.

Like any good parent, you talked to your children about the dangers of drugs and alcohol when they were growing up. You warned them about the detrimental effect these chemicals would have on their minds, bodies, and futures. Just because your child chose to ignore that advice doesn’t mean you failed as a parent. You didn’t. You did the very best you could.

Fact is prevention doesn’t always work. If it did, America wouldn’t be experiencing the worst drug addiction epidemic in its history right now.

Here’s what parents can do to combat this reality. Focus on what you can control. First, get professional help for yourself and your family. Next, create an action plan that includes new ground rules, including what happens when your addicted child breaks these rules.

You can’t stop your child from using drugs. But you can get yourself out of the way, find professional help, and establish firm boundaries. You love your child more than anything in the world. Make sure that love continues to move both of you in a healthy direction.

********

What happens when prevention fails? Let Dave show you how to create an action plan that moves you and your addicted child back on track in a healthier, more constructive direction. Be prepared when prevention fails. Contact Dave today and book him to speak at your church, parent’s group, business organization, or neighborhood association. Go to Dave Cooke’s Speaker Page for more information, or email Dave Cooke.

Filed Under: featured, Managing Adversity, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Uncategorized Tagged With: drug addiction, drug addiction and recovery, parenting and addiction support, parenting and alcohol, parenting and drug abuse, parenting and recovery

## Its been four years…

April 13, 2025 by Dave Cooke 3 Comments

> My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. ~ Maya Angelou

Celebrating the one hundredth consecutive bike ride on April 10, 2025

It is hard to believe that it has been four years since I completed my first 100Day Challenge. On Sunday, April 10, 2011, I completed a 24 mile bike ride. It was my one hundredth consecutive day riding my bike for at least one hour. My son joined me on the last four miles of the ride. It was a significant accomplishment.

The final statistics over those one hundred days: 2,360 miles and 141 hours riding.

Reflecting on the journey now known as 100Pedals, I have come a long way in four years. Though the sting and the pain of addiction is part of my world, I am at peace with my journey. While my son still has not embraced the recovery a parent so passionately desires for their addicted child, his addiction does not have control over my life. Regardless of the choices he makes in his life, I have come through this adversity a changed man - a better dad, a better husband, a better person, and a born again believer.

I never thought I would be that dad - the one whose son would be battling a drug addiction, nonetheless a heroin addiction. I would never have predicted that I would make a full-time commitment to such an important cause as addiction in our society. And, I never would have believed it possible to reflect back on all the trials and tribulations of this very dark, painful journey and call it one of life’s greatest gifts.

It’s been four years since I “crossed the finish line” of the one hundred day challenge. My addiction journey is nearly six years old. I am young in this battle. I have only just begun the fight to bring about the changes we need to get this addiction crisis in our communities under control. The four fronts of my mission are better treatment, affordable access to treatment, better laws, and better conversations about addiction.

I am here to assist those who struggle with the “broken path” in their life’s journey. I am here to stand tall with anyone who desires to bring changes to the issue of addiction in our communities. Let me know where you need me and I will be there! Peace!

******

Are you trying to cope with your child’s addiction? Are you weary of riding the frustrating rollercoaster of this addiction? Dave Cooke has the solution to your dilemma, and he’s happy to share it with you. In fact, it’s become his mission in life.

Dave Cooke is the father of a son addicted to heroin. Like you, he suddenly found himself thrust into a state of confusion, heartache, and despair. And like all parents of addicts, he scrambled to find solid ground when addiction turned his world upside down.

In the process, he created a way to help parents find peace in the midst of chaos. An internationally recognized speaker, Dave’s presentations inspire with energy, commitment, and real solutions for troubled parents. “Thought-provoking” and “powerful” are just two of the descriptions his audiences often apply to his talks.

Learn more about Dave Cooke’s speaking programs

Filed Under: featured, Live With Passion, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Uncategorized Tagged With: change, chnage and parenting, drug abuse, drug addiction, drug addiction and recovery, parenting, parenting and drug addiction, parenting and recovery

## There is still hope on the broken road

April 9, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment
http://traffic.libsyn.com/theaddictionconversation/Arlene_Rice.mp3

Today’s featured guest brings her powerful perspective to a very painful, personal story. On April 12, 2013, Arlene Rice lost her youngest son, Gabriel, to his addiction. Through her extended addiction journey, Arlene has lived, learned, and experienced a great deal. From the moment she held her son Gabriel in her arms for the last time, nearly two years ago, she embarked on a passionate journey of faith, advocacy and education.

On today’s conversation she shares very moving and comforting perspectives for parents who are dealing with the addiction of child and for parents who have lost a child to their addiction. Arlene reminds each of us there is incredible power and peace to be discovered and accessed in the resources around us.

Arlene’s message of faith, hope, love and restoration are quite compelling. She brings wisdom, drawn from reflections from the past and the knowledge of the present, to the addiction and parenting discussion. Those who take the time to listen to this podcast will be truly blessed for having done so.

Learn more about Arlene’s work through the Gabriel Project.

Filed Under: Addiction, featured, Giving Love, Inspirational Perspectives, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Uncategorized Tagged With: drug addiction, Gabriel Project, overdose and drug addiction, parenting and drug addiction, parenting and drug overdose

## It is time for a New Beginning

April 6, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

> “Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” ~ Carl Bard

This past Easter weekend was a reminder about resurrection and new beginnings.

A transformed life begins when you look past the present and forward into the future. There is nothing you can do to alter your past and there is almost nothing you cannot do in your future. The only person who can get in your way on your transformational journey is you.

Over the years, I have written several articles about change and transformation. Every one of these articles features many of these same, repeating themes:

- Change only occurs when you move forward and away from that which hurts you.
- The path to change can only be discovered when you detach from the chaos and respond to the issue not react to it.
- Requires an honest and resolute commitment that the present is unacceptable and a change is necessary.
- Accepting responsibility and acknowledging that only you can change your life.
- Change is only occurs through persistence and focus, it is not easy.

As a parent of a child with an addiction, I am often reminded of these rules as I witness the struggles my son goes through to change his life. Addiction recovery is one of the most challenging and difficult transformational journeys. My experiences with my son’s addiction only serve to re-enforce my belief that you have all the power you need to change your life, provided you are willing to do the work for you.

Today’s quote is particularly inspiring because it empowers and encourages you to focus at what really matters - today. History often prevents you from accomplishing a much in the future. Having experienced the pain or frustration of failure to create the change in your life before often makes you less likely, willing or confident to explore any similar path again.

This is too bad. Some of your greatest lessons are your biggest failures. Instead of looking at a mission as failure, look at it as an education. Ask yourself “what did I learn and what can I do differently next time?” Instead of fearing failure on your next mission, you are more prepared to succeed because of the lessons gained on your transformational journey.

Think about it. Would it be better to apply the lessons from your past to embrace and seek out the possibility for a better future and commit to move forward; or, resign yourself to your present reality as unchangeable and stop?

There are no simple, easy, or guarantee escapes from that which troubles you. You have two choices - commit to find a path of change and focus your efforts in that direction or stay put on the one you know keeps you unfulfilled. Only one of those paths reflects a new beginning.

Isn’t it time for a resurrection, a new beginning, in your life? May you discover and embrace the path that takes you where you wish to be. Peace!

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Do you feel like you are stuck in an awful, difficult spot in your life? Does the pain, fear, doubt, worry seem bigger and stronger than you? I have been in that place. There was a time when I didn’t see how I could possibly change my life, especially when my son was struggling with his addiction. Fortunately, I put myself on a path that completely changed my life. It is now popularly referred to as the 100Day Challenge. I am kicking off a 100Day Challenge program for parents like you who are stuck, broken, hurting. If you would like to learn more about this program, please contact me.

Filed Under: featured, Make A Commitment, Managing Adversity, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Uncategorized Tagged With: change, dealing with adversity, drug abuse, drug addiction, embracing the journey, inspiration, parenting, recovery, transformational journies, trusting the journey

## 100Days That Will Change Your Life

March 30, 2025 by Dave Cooke 4 Comments

Every once in a while I receive a note or an encouraging, grateful word. This week, I received an email I had to share. I am so pleased to share this with you, not because of the kinds words about 100Pedals; but, because this mom changed her life following the very simple, foundational principle so few truly understand or embrace.

> I wanted to thank you so much for helping me. Earlier this year I had the opportunity to hear you speak about 100 Pedals at the ‘For the Love of Connor‘ event. I also had the opportunity to talk with you for a few minutes after the program.

> You asked for an update when I told you I was going to give your 100Day challenge a try. Today is DAY 50!

> In December of 2013 my youngest child, died after a 12 year battle with cancer, at the age of 32. December of 2013 was much a blur, I got through it as if I was walking through a fog. Last winter I spent many days in bed, gradually functioning, minimally, in the routine of daily life.

> December of 2014 arrived, (on schedule of course!) and my life seemed to come to a screeching halt. My son’s birthday, the anniversary of his death, Christmas, and all festivities that accompany the holidays were too much.

> In January I again found myself going down into a very dark hole and wondering if I could ever find my ‘new normal and get myself out of that hole. When my cousin asked me, I agreed to attend the ‘For the Love of Connor‘ event and I’m not even sure why I said ‘yes’. In retrospect, I was meant to be there!

> I decided to make your idea my own. Every Sunday I plan my daily ‘me time’. One hour each day is used to focus on my physical, emotional and/or spiritual well being. Negative thoughts are not allowed - change to positive is a must. For example, if negative thoughts of of my son’s death come to my mind, I make myself think about his smile, his antics when he was a little one, etc. I think about the wonderful things that I experienced with my son. Also, I try very hard to think about different, “happier” aspects of my life during this ‘me time’. I walk, meditate, read, ride a bike, dance, have had a massage, ‘pay it forward’, listen to music, and have been known to do some “retail therapy” for new pair of shoes!

> At first, it was difficult. The whole mediation thing lasted about 5minutes. I’m still working on that, up to about 20minutes, but I think it has more to do with my personality than trying to work through grief. (Yoga is way too slow for me too!)

> Today is DAY 50 and I am doing so much better. For example, March 6th, the 15 month anniversary of my son’s death…On the previous evening as I was preparing to get to sleep, I was thinking about what the next day would be like. 15 months and sometimes it feels as if it was yesterday and sometimes it feels as if it has always has been. The morning of the 6th, I woke up and was thinking about and visualizing my son and his best friend laughing. From the time they formed their friendship, in the fourth grade, into adulthood, they always laughed as if they were sharing a secret or were ‘up to something’! It was such a wonderful way to start what could have been a tough day. Ironically, I had a message from my son’s friend that morning, telling me he was thinking of me!

> My ‘me time’, for that special hour each day, has affected my thinking and behaviors during the other 23 hours of each day!!

> I am keenly aware that my life will never be the same. But, guess what? I can laugh again! And my ‘new normal’ now includes a feeling of moving forward in a positive, productive, and loving manner. My steps towards healing are headed in a great direction.

> I don’t believe that we often have the opportunity to hear what a profound effect we have on others. I wanted you to know what a positive light you have been for me. I am so glad I attended the event earlier this year and so very grateful that I met you. I am sincerely thankful for your influence in my healing process.

> Again, thank you.
> SK - Phoenix, AZ

The 100Day Challenge is an awesome program for transforming a life devastated by a painful or ongoing chaotic experience. The concept is simple - do something positive for yourself every single day to escape the chaos, the pain the negativity. Use that moment of peaceful tranquility to guide and influence your thoughts going forward. Do this for 100 consecutive days. Keep a journal. Embrace the experience. Grow with each step as you move away from your pain.

Powerful transformations do not require big, bold goals or activities; they are achieved through a systematic application of little, productive and positive steps. Take care of yourself now and your life will be changed. Peace!

* * * * * *

Are you a member of an organization who would benefit from a powerful, authentic and moving story? Would you like to hear Dave Cooke share his incredible, inspiring transformational journey through his son’s heroin addiction to a life of peace and clarity? Dave gives talks to groups large and small throughout the country. To book Dave for your next event, program, or meeting contact him at 602.903.2074 or via email.

Are you on my email list? If you’d like to receive my monthly newsletter for the parents of children addicted to drugs/alcohol and weekly blog post notifications, email me.

Filed Under: featured Tagged With: addiction, addiction and recovery, change, drug addiction, embracing the journey, honoring commitments, parenting, parenting and loss. commitment, self care

## Love and Disappointment

February 2, 2026 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.” ~ Yehuda Berg

Over the course of your addiction journey, you will have, or have had, many difficult and challenging conversations with your children. Whether it is in the heat of battle or in a tranquil time, the words you choose and the tone you use linger in ways you may not realize.

Several months ago, I gave a talk at a single mom’s recovery center. I took advantage of a question from the audience to share my perspective regarding two words that have more power than any other. At the end of my reflection, I was taken by their response and overwhelming affirmation to what I shared. I share this information with you today in the hopes that you will be mindful of what you say means a lot, even when our loved ones don’t seem to care or listen. They do and they are.

LOVE. Love is the most powerful word in any language. When you share with someone the gift of your unconditional love, you are committing that no matter what they’ve done, who they’ve become, or how they are living - you LOVE them. Love cannot be conditional. If we truly love someone, we cannot withhold it. Love is selfless, generous, kind, patient, understanding, eternal, and, most of all, it is unconditional.

> I remember listening to the story of a woman, a good friend, who was in the middle of the worst aspects of her crystal meth addiction. Somehow her mom searched her out and found her in this wasteland of a hotel room. All her mom desired was to see her daughter. As she tells this story of this meeting with her mom, the only part she truly remembers is her mom saying to her, “I want you to know, I love you. I don’t love this (looking a the visual mess of her life) but I love you!” She was blown away. Despite all she had done, where she was, and what she was doing her mom simply looked at her and said, “I love you!” That was the day this woman began her road to recovery. She was moved by that powerful exchange, knowing her mom loved her no matter what!

DISAPPOINTMENT. If you are ever looking for a word to take out of your vocabulary, disappointment is the one, especially if your authentic power word is LOVE. Nobody ever wants to disappoint someone we love or who loves us. Telling a loved one they have disappointed them is more hurtful than a knife to the heart. A person battling an addiction is already struggling with an internal sense of failing, emptiness, guilt and loss. They do not enjoy being addicted, they constantly battle with their addiction, and it is difficult to find hope in the middle of their chaos. The last thing they need to hear from anyone is a hurtful reminder of how much they have failed those they love.

> When I shared my philosophy on the adverse power of disappointment with the single mom’s recovery center, I had two women react immediately. One of them shared, “I know. I remember the day my dad said he was disappointed in me. It is fresh in my mind, as though it was yesterday. It hurt me more than anything.”

Addiction is frustrating. The choices, decisions, and outcomes destroy lives and dreams. Your child or loved one knows the loss they and you are already feeling. They do not need a reminder from you how disappointed you are in what they have done to their life or are doing to yours. If you are disappointed in their situation relative to your expectations for them it is best to keeps those thoughts to yourself.

I have been on my journey with my son’s addiction for nearly six years. While this may be short by many standards and long by others, I have appreciated the opportunity to learn. I would never have signed up for this educational journey; but, I am on it nonetheless.

I have been blessed with many lessons and continue to receive education, encouragement, and insights from this community of parents on their addiction journey. The one thing I have learned more than anything else is the only gift I can truly give my son at this point in his journey is the gift of unconditional love and unrelenting hope. As long as we are both alive, that will be my commitment to him. It is his addiction, his life, his choice, and his path. I am committed to never be disappointed in him. He has enough of a load on his shoulders fighting his battle, he doesn’t need to be carrying the weight of my expectations or my approval. Please keep this in mind next time you get into the word game with your addicted loved one. What you say makes a huge difference even if you don’t know it. Peace!

Filed Under: Giving Love, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Uncategorized Tagged With: addiction, drug abuse, drug addiction, parenting, parenting and drug addiction, parenting and love, parenting and recovery, recovery, unconditional love

## You will be changed

January 26, 2026 by Dave Cooke 2 Comments

“Adversity teaches us the lessons we are not willing to teach ourselves.”

When you find yourself in the middle of life’s struggles, it is hard to imagine anything positive emerging from that experience. You just want it to be over with.

In the midst of the emotional battle of a parent’s addiction journey, it is hard to hear the words, “there is opportunity in the chaos.” In reality, there is.

Any parent’s addiction battle is a particularly gripping and emotional one. For me, it was and is the greatest individual struggle of my life. But, it also was and continues to be the greatest gift in my life. It became a gift the minute I made a determination that I was not going to try to control the problem or change the person with the problem. It became a gift the moment I decided to change how I dealt with, responded to, and experienced the outcomes of my son’s addiction. It became a gift when I declared it is his addiction, not mine.

Your child’s addiction has changed you. It has taken you from a place where your dreams for your life and your child’s life became interrupted by a monster. It seized control of your world and turned it upside down. It took everything you believed and understood about love, trust, and hope and tore it apart. Now, it has taken over control of your life.

You have been changed – for the worse. It is now time to be changed for the better.

Breaking free from the grip of addiction means you cannot let the addiction take over your life, your priorities, your behaviors, and your expectations for someone else. You must set boundaries, define your rules, and take care of yourself. Without it, the addiction owns you, too.

Battling the addiction that exists in another person is a fruitless effort. The addiction is in control of your loved one and will only be stopped when your loved one makes that determination to fight to reclaim control of their life.

You are not the one with the addiction. You can choose to say “no” to that addiction at any time. If you haven’t it is likely because you feel a sense of commitment and obligation to helping that loved one fulfill the hopes and dreams you have for them. That is noble, honorable, and a wonderful, loving commitment; but, you cannot go down with the ship. In doing so, the addiction claims two lives. There are others who need you, love you, depend on you, and are blessed by your presence when you are on your game.

You cannot beat the monster within another. As long as you fight their monster, you are enabling the monster to break you down and destroy you - one painful, hurtful lesson after another.

You have been changed. You are forever changed. That change can take on a powerful and impactful tone the day you wake-up and embrace living an addiction free life. Addiction free means in taking control of your life, not fighting to be in control of someone else’s. You will be positively transformed the moment you say, I can’t live like this anymore and do exactly what you know you need to do to reclaim your life. You will never be free of the addiction as long as your loved one suffers with their disease; but, being addiction free means that addiction cannot and will not destroy you along the way.

There is tremendous opportunity for you to grow, evolve, and celebrate the hidden gifts in this difficult journey. It is a battle you didn’t sign-up for our volunteer to be part of. It is your battle just the same. I encourage you to fight the battle for your life, it is the most important battle out there. There is a gift in the outcome. And, it can only be uncovered by taking the necessary actions that will take you there.

Peace!

Filed Under: Parenting, Parenting & Addiction Tagged With: addiction in the family, dealing with adversity, drug abuse, drug addiction, embracing the journey, parenting, parenting and addiction, recovery, recovery and love

## “I can’t take this anymore!”

January 19, 2026 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

To those who say, “I can’t take this anymore,” you don’t have to. Nothing is stopping you from changing what is happening in your world, except you. Even though the circumstances causing you to make this declaration may not be under your direct control, you still have the ability to seize control of your life and redefine your actions, decisions, and choices in response to that which impacts you.

You cannot take “it” anymore because you are wrestling with your inability to be in control of something you have no control over. Instead of attempting to control an situation or issue that is not yours to manage, focus instead on what you have control over – your life!

> You are not helpless. You are not a victim. You are not powerless.

> You are choosing to live in an adverse situation simply because it is easier to live with the conflict, the controversy and the pain than it is to do the difficult work of changing your life in response to it.

Many of the parents I coach who are dealing with family addiction issues exclaim “this is hard work!” They struggle with the work associated with learning and discovering how to change their behaviors, their responses, and their conversations as it relates to their child’s addiction. When they finally realize the only aspect of this situation they can change exists in their life and not the life of their child, their whole mindset shifts. It is only then do they begin to focus on what they control, not what they cannot. It is in that shift they find resolve to begin managing their life rather than getting caught up in the insanity of attempting to manage a child’s addiction!

Many parents expect their children to completely change their lives to give up their addiction. Yet, they fail to realize that in the face of this same situation they will also to need to change their habits, routines, and behaviors, as well.

Think about it! You are expecting your loved one to embrace the concept and the effort required to initiate change and move from a toxic situation in their life, even though you cannot engage in the same form of activity to change your life in relation to similar, damaging activities.

> It is much easier to expect and demand change of someone else, rather than be responsible for making changes in ourselves!

If you are obsessed with and invested in managing the daily chaos of a loved one’s addiction – STOP. It is their problem, not yours. Quit demanding they change their life. It is their life, not yours. Manage your life. Take control of your life.

Instead, take your own advice. Do what you need to do to move away from the situation and not be insanely invested in managing what you cannot control. Save yourself. Take care of yourself. Change your behaviors, improve your communication skills, set clear boundaries and enforce them, quit enabling your child, and empower them to live, learn, and experience the consequences of their choices. Most importantly, let go of the fear, guilt and worry associated with the choices they make – you cannot control or change them anyway!

It will not be easy, it will not be fun, it will not always go smoothly at first. Change is difficult and challenging. It is also more productive and emotionally, physically healthier than what you are doing right now. Like recovery, change is a process. You will get better and smarter and stronger once you decide change is necessary. And remember, none of this is a tactic to help them find recovery. It is a commitment that will help you reclaim a derailed life - yours. When they are ready, if they are ready, they will be fortunate to find you a stronger, healthier more capable resource of strength and inspiration. If they never are ready, you will have moved your life forward in a positive, productive direction despite the loss. Take control of what you can control. Let go of what you cannot. Find clarity for your life in the process. Peace!

Filed Under: Lessons In Addiction, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Uncategorized Tagged With: change, change and addiction, drug abuse, drug addiction, parenting and addiction, parenting and recovery, personal development, recovery, transformation and change

## “I feel like I am losing hope”

January 12, 2026 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

Hope is never lost.

Hope must never be lost.

Hope merely appears to be lost when your dreams crash headfirst into your reality.

When everything seemingly spirals out of control, it is not a time to lose hope; it is simply a reality check. Victory, crossing the finish line, incredible success – is always possible. Incredible, miraculous outcomes are always possible as long as you believe. But, you can only create miracle by your actions for your life, not in the by expecting someone else to take actions in theirs.

> “Losing hope” is that struggle to believe once you are introduced to the reality of life - how you thought things would or should go and how they actually do go are two entirely different roads.

As you examine the situation, it is hard to see how any detour can possibly lead to the outcome you planned or expected; especially, if there are numerous, confusing, painful ones along the way. As long as you are willing to accept there are many paths - many of them unknown by us - to accomplishment, anything is possible.

> When you become so attached to an outcome linked to a singular path it is a struggle to imagine that “being off course” can still lead to the desired outcome.

Life rarely goes according to plan. Where you start and how you finish hardly ever goes as envisioned. Life offers adventures, challenges, obstacles, and pain you never plan for, expect, or appreciate at the time. There is a process in every person’s journey that takes them off course. It is in the detours where the true lessons of life are taught. Not going according to plan, being off course, stumbling, struggling, failing, are all part of the process. It does not mean you cannot get there, it only means the trip you planned and the one you actually take are going to be different. Often, that reality is hard to accept.

Parents living with a child on their addiction journey are painful witness to their loved one’s personal life journey. It is hard to watch them go through their experiences, accept their choices, find comfort in the prospect that they will someday recovery from this nightmare. From the day they were born, you had expectations, dreams and a vision for their life and your reality is crushing those dreams.

In their addiction, things never go according to your plan. It is likely that even their recovery is not going according to your plan. You need to remember one important rule, it is not your plan that matters. This is their life. As screwed up, messed up, and lost as it may seem – it is their life, their journey, their experiences to learn from. There is nothing you can do about it!

Are you losing hope? There is no reason to lose hope. All you really need is a change of perspective. You are fighting a reality battle – where your dreams for someone else’s life comes face-to-face with the reality that it is their life and you have no ability to control it or change it. When you were lost in your life (and you were more than once) you found your way. What makes you think they can’t or won’t find theirs? There is no reason to lose hope. Simply stop trying to figure out how to get someone to live your dream for their life!

- Change your focus, adjust your perspective, and put an end to trying to influence outcomes that are beyond your control.
- There is opportunity in every day to celebrate, love, and achieve.
- Live your life, stop living someone else’s.
- Find clarity and peace in living the life that has been given to you and for you.
- Focus on and trust your path for your life.
- Be at peace in empowering others to embrace their journey.
- Continually offer them your love and your encouragement.
- Pray they will find what they are looking for.
- Most importantly, always believe in their ability to emerge from life’s storms in much the same way you have learned to adapt, evolve and succeed in yours.

Peace!

Filed Under: Maintaining Focus, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Uncategorized Tagged With: addiction, addiction and hope, drug abuse, drug addiction, hope, parenting, parenting and hope, recovery, recovery and hope