100 Pedals

Recovery for Parents Dealing with Addiction in their Families

## Gratitude - A Father’s intimate, insightful conversation with his addicted Son

November 26, 2025 by Dave Cooke

On this Thanksgiving Thursday, I am grateful to have the opportunity to celebrate my son’s presence in my life and for his courage in sharing his addiction story. My youngest son, Brandon, offers very powerful insights and perspectives as a son dealing with his heroin addiction.

In conversation we discuss from his perspectives:

- His struggle and progress with his recovery
- The family dynamic in both relapse and recovery
- A very memorable conversation about Enabling
- The power and influence of boundaries
- What happened when he decided to change his life

If you have struggled to understand the mind and behaviors of an addicted person, you will be enlightened by this conversation. Grateful and impressed with Brandon articulate insights and comments. I am fortunate to have had the opportunity to have this incredible conversation. Peace!

Check out this episode!

Filed Under: Addiction Conversation Podcast

## A Week of Gratitude

November 24, 2025 by Dave Cooke 5 Comments

> Choose to be grateful for your life and everything that exists in it. You only get one life to live. Every day is an opportunity to appreciate the gifts that exist within it. Now, more than ever, be grateful for the gifts you have been given.

There are times where the darkness of the moment overshadows all that could be celebrated in our lives. In a moment of dark reflection one can easily focus on what is missing instead of what exists. Or, focusing on what exists as bad, failing to notice all the good that is actually present.

Adversity of any kind is disruptive. It can elicit a wide variety of inferior emotions. Despite the attention we let it garner, the adversity that exists is not the accurate picture of our life. It is the part of the picture we have a tendency to zoom in on most. In reality, each of us has so much more; we simply need to do a better job of seeing and celebrating it.

There is a great deal of blessings in your life provided you take time to look for it, to celebrate it, and give thanks for it.

Do something special this Thanksgiving - commit to a week of gratitude. Make a daily commitment this week to discover and focus on something that is truly a wonderful component in your life. Take a moment to pause, get quiet, still your mind, and give thanks for those aspects of your life that is good and brings you joy. Give thanks for all of them. Focus on what makes their existence in your life a blessing. Find joy in acknowledging its presence.

Make time to share your gratitude for those gifts. Make them the focal point of your thoughts whenever you can. Give those gifts the highest priorities of your attention above and over the adversities that are so easily distract you. You will find that as you get better at focusing on the gifts in your life, the stronger and more inspired you will be as you recognize the impact of their presence.

Happy Thanksgiving in this week of Gratitude. Peace!

> 100Pedals has just released two FREE programs for parents. “Addiction and theFamily: Four Guidelines to Embrace” is an audio progam that provides parents perspective for dealing with addiction in the family. To obtain your digital download click here. “Addiction Conversation” is a weekly podcast where Dave Cooke interviews parents, those in recovery, counselors, and legal experts to provide their perspectives from their experiences with addiction. To listen to an individual session click here or to download the podcast to I-Tunes click here.

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives Tagged With: being grateful, gratitude, Thanksgiving

## When a dad’s heart is broken by his son’s addiction – how an overdose death becomes a lifetime commitment

November 20, 2025 by Dave Cooke

Addiction in a family is painful enough. Losing a child to their disease causes the deepest of hurts. Today’s podcast features a dad who is passionately and intently living the commitment he made to his son at his memorial service. This talk is blunt, authentic, and inspiring. Join us as we explore Bill’s journey through treatment programs, the social challenges every parent faces, and his personal commitment to educate and inspire. Thanks to Bill Williams for being on the Addiction Conversation today.

On November 29th, 2014 Elizabeth and her friends will run a half marathon to raise money to help individuals and their loved ones who are impacted by addiction. The money raised will be donated to the Where There’s A Will Fund, which was founded in memory of Elizabeth’s brother, William Head Williams, who died of a heroin overdose two years ago.

Links:

Where There’s A Will Fund (Facebook)

Bill Williams Blog

Contact: Where There’s a Will Fund

Donate to “Running for Will”

Check out this episode!

Filed Under: Addiction Conversation Podcast

## Parents, what you say matters more than you realize

November 13, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

Are you in a battle to communicate effectively with your addicted child?

Are you struggling to understand their choices and responses despite your best efforts?

Are you frustrated to find the words to offer encouragement and support in moments of conflict and pain?

You are not alone. Every parent faces a difficult, challenging learning curve when dealing with a child’s addiction.

The information in this podcast can and will help you…

Listen to this episode…

Subscribe via I-Tunes…

Every parent feels a sense of responsibility for their child’s addiction.

Every one eventually comes to understand that guilt is part of the process; but, we are not to blame for the choices our children make.

A child’s recovery from their addiction is a parent’s highest priority.

Just as we are not responsible for the choices that brought our child to their addictive situation, we are not responsible for their decisions in recovery.

How we communicate and interact with them can have a significant influence on how they manage their recovery.

Today’s guest, Jill D. Cox, is a professional counselor specializing in treatment therapy. I connected with her through several professional groups on LinkedIn.

I found her writings and comments particularly insightful and accurate.

She has a great perspective for parents and a calming, steady approach in a very chaotic emotional environment.

Listen to this episode…

Subscribe via I-Tunes…

> 100Pedals has just released a FREE audio program for parents. “Addiction and the Family: Four Guidelines to Embrace” is an audio program that provides parents perspective for dealing with addiction in the family. To obtain your digital download click here.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: addiction conversation, parenting and addiction, parenting and communication, parenting and drug addiction, parenting and love, parenting and recovery, podcast addiction conversation

## How parental communication impacts and influences a child’s recovery

November 13, 2025 by Dave Cooke

In a battle to communicate effectively with your addicted child?

Struggling to understand their choices and responses to your support?

You are not alone. It is a difficult and challenging learning curve for all parents dealing with addiction in their family.

The information in this podcast can and will help you…

Every parent feels a sense of responsibility for their child’s addiction. Every one eventually comes to understand that guilt is part of the process; but, we are not to blame for the choices our children make.

A child’s recovery from their addiction is a parent’s highest priority. Just as we are not responsible for the choices that brought our child to their addictive situation, we are not responsible for their decisions in recovery.

How we communicate and interact with them can have a significant influence on how they manage their recovery.

Today’s guest, Jill D. Cox, is a professional counselor specializing in treatment therapy. I connected with her through several professional groups on LinkedIn. I found her writings and comments particularly insightful and accurate. She has a great perspective for parents and a calming, steady approach in a very chaotic emotional environment.

Jill D. Cox (LinkedIn)

Jill D. Cox (Google+)

Check out this episode!

Filed Under: Addiction Conversation Podcast

## More thoughts on “Change”

November 10, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

> This article is fantastic! Every single one of us needs to read this and be reminded of what the heck we are doing over and over and over again. Three sentences really stood out for me, more so than the others, however, the entire article was just so perfect…so right. The three sentences?

> ‘The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.’

> ‘If we protect them, make exceptions for them, shield them from outcomes they need to learn from – how can we possible expect them to change or alter their behaviors? If they know there are no consequences, only the threat of one, they will not be responsible for changing anything.’ ~ Thoughts from a mom after reading last week’s blog (yes, I could have left out the “this article is fantastic” part; but, I thought this article was one of my better contributions and I really desired to celebrate the affirmation.)

Changing how way we respond to our children’s behaviors can be scary. There are risks associated with the ultimate outcomes of our decisions. There were times I was terrified about my options. I would contemplate the possible outcomes of my actions and they would scare me, almost to the point where I was afraid to make a decision. Some of the scenarios, and the ones I fixated on most were the worst of outcomes. Rarely did I envision the impact of that conversation leading to a positive result. I was only obsessed with the worst possible outcomes - death, homelessness, jail, prison, or a plunge off the deep end and lost to me forever.

It took me a long, long time to realize I was actually putting limitations on myself and on my son whenever I thought and reacted that way. He was never going to make a different choice about his addiction unless he was forced to look at his situation in a different manner. The only way he would even explore the possibility of changing his behaviors was when something forced him to. Once forced into a different situation in his life only then would he have to decide how he was going to respond to the change.

This does not guarantee or insure he is going to make the decision I would desire him to make. But, that is not why I am taking action in the first place. I am presenting him with a call to action of change, on my terms and on my conditions and by my rules for living an authentic, responsible life. I am actually empowering him to make a choice, his choices, about his addiction. Whatever he decides to do is up to him - it is his choice, his decision, and his responsibility. His choices are not my choices and what he decides is because he made the decisions he did, they are not mine nor am I responsible for them.

Until we assign responsibility to our children for their choices, including their addiction related choices, they will NEVER learn to make a decision, to understand the consequences of their decision, and go through the intellectual process of evaluating the potential outcomes of their decisions. We cannot protect our children from their choices and then expect them to learn and understand how to make good choices.

This is one of the harshest, most difficult realities for parents - letting their children make seemingly stupid decisions. Unfortunately, in the world of addiction and life, this is what we must let our children go and do. May you find the courage and the wisdom to take the action you know you need to. Peace!

> 100Pedals recently released two FREE programs for parents. (1) “Addiction and the Family: Four Guidelines to Embrace” is an audio progam that provides parents perspective for dealing with addiction in the family. To obtain your digital download click here. (2) “Addiction Conversation” a weekly podcast where Dave Cooke interviews parents, those in recovery, counselors, and legal experts to provide their perspectives from their experiences with addiction. To listen to an individual session click here or to download the podcast to I-Tunes click here.

Filed Under: Embrace Responsibility, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership, Uncategorized Tagged With: addiction, addiction and parenting, change, drug abuse in the family, drug addiction and hope, drug addiction and love, drug addiction and parenting, drug addiction in the family, making change, parenting and love, parenting and responsibility, recovery, recovery and parenting

## Addiction Conversation Podcast: Episode 7

November 6, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

Even with a lifetime of experience behind her, this mom still struggled in managing her behaviors in response to her child’s addiction.

Today’s guest is thirty-nine years clean and sober, she’s a professional therapist, a passionate follower of the 12 Steps and a firm believer in her faith. With that background it would seem that she has the perfect resume and experience to be a parent dealing with addictions in her family.

Even she struggled.

Despite her experience, her training, and her commitment she battled with the adversity of addiction like all parents do. What we learn from Pam Hemphill on today’s podcast is that you cannot do it alone, you will always need help, and we cannot be perfect. Join us as Pam shares her insights for finding strength, hope and encouragement through others to stay strong, at peace, and in control on her journey.

Listen to this Episode

Download to I-Tunes

> 100Pedals has just released a FREE audio program for parents. “Addiction and the Family: Four Guidelines to Embrace” is an audio program that provides parents perspective for dealing with addiction in the family. To obtain your digital download click here.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: addiction, addiction and love, addiction conversation, addiction conversation podcast, love, parenting, parenting and addiction, parenting and love, parenting and recovery, recovery

## Parenting and Addiction: You cannot do it alone, and you don’t need to

November 6, 2025 by Dave Cooke

Even with a lifetime of experience behind her, this mom still struggled to manage her behaviors in response to her child’s addiction.

Thirty-nine years clean and sober, a professional therapist, a passionate follower of the 12 Steps and firm believer in her faith. Seemingly the perfect resume for a parent to deal with addictions in her family - her son and her brothers. Despite her experience, her training, and her commitment she struggles with the adversity of addiction like we all do. Listen as Pam Hemphill shares her insights for finding strength, hope and encouragement through others to stay strong, at peace, and in control on her journey.

Links:

Time to Heal with Pam (YouTube)

Time to Heal with Pam (Facebook)

Check out this episode!

Filed Under: Addiction Conversation Podcast

## Nothing will change until you do

November 3, 2025 by Dave Cooke 2 Comments

> “So my son is sitting outside my door in the pouring rain with nowhere to go. It is breaking my heart. I am no good at this “tough love” thing. He’s been here four months. I took him to detox twice and one rehab to which he left. Today he robbed me again and took everything I had. I told him not to come back. Now he’s sitting outside saying he has the money he took and has nowhere to go. What do I do? I can’t take it anymore!” ~ From a mom sharing personal agony on her addiction journey

It is hard to know what to do in these situations. As a parent, each of wants to take their child in, give them a hug, put them in dry clothes, and show our love for them. That is a normal and very appropriate response. There are no right answers here, only questions.

If you do not change the way you deal with your child, will the behaviors they are currently engaging in ever change?

If you do not change your behaviors and responses to someone’s actions, will the people you are dealing need to change theirs?

What changes if you engage in the same, predictable actions when presented with a challenge like this?

Change is not easy. It is hard to adjust or alter the way we communicate with our children in response the situation they are in. We do not want to punish them, we never want them to experience painful consequences as a result of the choices they make, and we certainly don’t want to lose our child to their addiction driven mistakes.

If we protect them, make exceptions for them, shield them from outcomes they need to learn from - how can we possible expect them to change or alter their behaviors? If they know there are no consequences, only the threat of one, they will not be responsible for changing anything.

> The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

An addicted child puts parents in painfully difficult situations. They challenge us to do things we never would have imagined or believed possible. Their decisions hurt and confound us. Their actions often confuse and destroy us. Eventually we are going to have to make some tough decisions if we are ever going to regain our sanity, take control of our life, and challenge our children to make their own choice and learn from their behaviors.

Only you know what you need to do, when you finally need to do it, and why it is necessary. You are your child’s parent. You know what you desire of them, from them and for them. Only you can make the decisions as to how you want to raise, develop, and teach them. No one can tell you what to do - it is your call. These are tough times, difficult times.

Just remember, nothing changes until you do. The rest is up to you. Peace!

> 100Pedals has just released two FREE programs for parents. (1) “Addiction and the Family: Four Guidelines to Embrace” is an audio progam that provides parents perspective for dealing with addiction in the family. To obtain your digital download click here. (2) “Addiction Conversation” is a weekly podcast where Dave Cooke interviews parents, those in recovery, counselors, and legal experts to provide their perspectives from their experiences with addiction. To listen to an individual session click here or to download the podcast to I-Tunes click here.

Filed Under: Addiction, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction Tagged With: addiction, addiction and parenting, change, dealing with adversity, dealing with conflict, embracing change, hope and recovery, love, parenting, recovery