# What happens when you lose hope

January 13, 2026 by Dave Cooke 3 Comments

In this video segment, I reflect on the lessons garnered from William Glasser’s book, “Positive Addiction.” The most significant component of this book is found in understanding the difference between Positive and Negative Addiction. Negative Addiction is the resignation to a reality that “there is no hope”; whereas, Positive Addiction is committed to the notion “there is an answer.”

This segment provides clarity to the influences behind relapses in recovery or the reasons some people seem to always be stuck in their life; and, why others always seem to find a way to move forward in chaotic situations. This segment also makes a great case that self-care is a fundamental necessity for a life being impacted by adverse external influences.

Watch video (2:30)

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Is your child addicted to drugs or alcohol? Are you trapped on the emotional rollercoaster of addiction? Dave Cooke can help. He’s an internationally recognized speaker who has made it his commitment to minister to parents struggling with addiction in their families. His powerfully insightful, faith based approach to the challenges of addiction have inspired and educated thousands across the country.

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In the process, he has developed several presentations for family members and concerned communities to learn more about the issue of addiction in our society. An internationally recognized speaker, Dave’s biblically driven presentations inspire with energy, commitment, and real solutions for troubled parents and a concerned community. “Thought-provoking” and “powerful” are just two of the descriptions his audiences often apply to his talks. Book Dave for your next event!

### Comments

1. Jessica Sabo says

   January 17, 2026 at 10:45 pm

   My son is 27 years old He’s been a heroin addict for at least 7 years Our lives are in chaos and turmoil He lives with me and now his girlfriend is also addicted to heroin. We have nothing And I am broken down I’m a 65 year old Grandmother of nine grandchildren And 5 children Any advice would be helpful And I thank you in advance god bless you

   Reply

   - Dave Cooke says

     January 18, 2026 at 10:15 am

     Jessica,
     I am sorry to hear about your son’s struggles with heroin and I for the pain you are experiencing as a result. Without knowing more about the specifics of your situation, it would be irresponsible for me to casually offer advice. While each situation has remarkably similar components, every situation is also distinctly unique. The only advice I can offer is to challenge yourself to have some perspective. What are you doing for your son that he could and needs to be doing for himself? What are you doing for your son that, by its actions, are actually hurting and destroying you? What decisions have you made in this situation that went against your instincts and were actually influenced by your fears? The experience of a son battling an addiction is extremely painful. However, you are not responsible for saving him or protecting him from the consequences of that addiction. You have others in your life that need you, depend upon you and love you. Allowing yourself to be broken by his addiction is your choice, your decision. Take some time to reflect on where you are and what you need to do differently to take back control of your life before his addiction destroys you, as well. I will pray for you and your son hoping that both of you find peace in this chaos.

     Reply

     - Michael says

       January 18, 2026 at 11:09 am

       Jessica Sabo,
       I’m so sorry for what your going through.
       I read your blog carefully as well as Dave’s reply.
       Dave is correct about without knowing circumstances its hard to give advice.
       What I do know is Heroin addicts could all be related by their actions.
       You see that is the way our society is educated by Heroin addicts is by watching them once there in full blown addiction.
       Now for the past 100 years here in America we have decided the best action is to stigmatize them, punish them, make them feel awful.
       American society thinks that if we make an addict feel like scum he will change. WRONG!
       Unless your in positive mode forget it, its not going to happen.
       If I could offer any advice study the four elements to “Negative Addiction” and start to get an understanding there.
       Work on changing his life, and most importantly his behavior.
       He has a hole in his stomach full of negative addiction.
       May I ask what state or city your from.
       With your permission I would like to write your son a letter.
       Heroin and opiate addiction has been my life.
       I am 60 years old. Heroin and opiates have been a major part of my life for 45 years.
       Its all I know.
       I am finally starting to get an understanding why by 14 I became violently hooked to opiates.
       I am finally starting to understand why the road I took as a young teenager was a road of knowledge that some are starting to open up to.
       I can tell you this for a fact, if your son does not get help soon the judicial world will grab him and destroy whats left of any hope which could cause a negative spiraling effect that there is no coming back from.
       From your respective it will take the whole family to get involved in a support capacity if your son has any chance at sobriety.
       Don’t loose hope, there are people that know what to do and wont let the absence of a major Health Insurance Card or Cash prevent your son from getting the help he needs. There are ways around that with block grants etc.
       I can help with your sons Heroin addiction, Dave can help with your situation.
       What do you think Dave, would you like to combo up with this grandmother of 9?

       Reply

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