100 Pedals

Recovery for Parents Dealing with Addiction in their Families

## Lesson One: Embrace Responsibility

March 28, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

### “Accountability is what remains when responsibility has been subtracted.”

When discussing the lesson of embracing responsibility, there are three components to this lesson:

1. I own my current situation:

a. I am here as a direct result of all the decisions I have made in my life.
b. I am here because I am supposed to be here.

All the choices and decisions that I have made in my life have brought me to this place. There
is not one aspect of these decisions that could alter the outcome of my being here for I am the
one who brought me to this place in my life. While it would be easy to assign blame to others
for their role in my life and the contributions they have made in these outcomes of my
decisions and my choice; the only person responsible for the ultimate outcomes of my choices
is me. I embrace, with full responsibility, the inevitability and unavoidability of my being here
today.

2. It is up to me to define and determine where I will go from here:

a. The lessons from my past provide me insight into my future decisions and outcomes.
b. The pace at which I move is far too powerful to measure in terms any accountability.

The outcomes I desire in my future are defined solely by my attitude and my effort. As it is my
decisions that brought me here, it will be the decisions toward my future that empower me to
move from here. Though I will enlist and embrace the guidance and support of others, my
future outcomes are ultimately defined by me. Because I have been empowered by the
honest reality of my situation, I passionately embrace those opportunities which exist in front
of me. As I embrace responsibility for my future outcomes, the pace at which I will be moving
will be faster and more powerful than any accountability measurements.

3. What appears as obstacles are actually learning opportunities:

“This is not the trip I signed up for; I must trust that this journey has been designed
specifically for me and I need to learn from these experiences in order to share my lessons
with others.”

Embracing responsibility for my journey is honest, positive, and empowering. My past and
future decisions have defined how I got here and where I will be going. In the course of this
journey I have been blessed with the knowledge and experience of tremendous lessons that I
can draw from and share with others. As I am responsible for all of my past and future
choices, I am also responsible for embracing all opportunities to learn and grow moving
forward – even in the face of adversity. This journey is my destiny; it is the conscious embrace
of these experiences and their lessons that provides me the greatest insights and growth.
And, it is the sharing of the education in the journey that provides a fulfilling gift to both self
and others.

Filed Under: Embrace Responsibility

## The 100 Pedals Story

March 28, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

Here is where the story begins. It was a little over fifteen months ago when I discovered the severity of my youngest son’s heroin addiction–homeless, in legal trouble, and in jail. Over the last fifteen months, I have driven cross country twice to facilitate a change in his environment, dealt with him getting arrested again, endured his spending sixty days in jail, awakened him out of a near overdose high, kicked him out of the house several times and acquired personal items back from pawn brokers that were sold to buy drugs. It has been quite an experience. It is one that I would never have wished for in my life and have no way to avoid now.

During the 2010 holiday season, after removing my son from the house again, I realized the impact that his addiction was having on my life. My business, my relationships, and my overall physical and mental health had taken a toll during this fifteen month odyssey. I have invested every ounce of time and energy I could muster to help my son overcome this addiction. It seemed that his progress, if any, was minimal. And, the slower the progress the more I invested in helping him. That is when I realized that I cannot do this for him anymore, I cannot want it bad enough for him to recover, and that he needed my love and my support, but not my enablement.

The challenge I put in front of myself was how can I be strong for him when he is present and receptive and even stronger for me when he is not? Then, I came up with this crazy idea.

I made a commitment to ride my bike for at least one hour for the next 100 days. This commitment serves several purposes. First, it helps me understand the enormous burden of having to do something every single day for an extended period of time—in a small way it is like overcoming an addiction. Second, it provides an example to my son what making and fulfilling a challenging commitment looks like. Finally, this commitment gives me perspective, strength, and better mental and physical health.

When I started riding I discovered the hidden power of the journey that I had been living the past fifteen months. I was taking my son’s addiction, our conversations, our challenges, plus my values and other experiences on these rides with me. I discovered the inspirational and educational opportunities I was receiving from these rides. I realized that these rides were providing me clarity for my life, for my son’s life, but also for others, as well. Everyone is going through something. The lessons I have obtained in my life and through my son’s experiences were speaking to me and I realized I had something to share with others as it relates to their challenges and frustrations.

100 Pedals provides a lesson for all of us. It provides perspectives on commitment, communication, teamwork, fulfillment, and finding happiness. 100 Pedals offers individuals, teams, and organizations perspectives for defining and realizing great outcomes. I am excited about the insights I have obtained on my rides and am pleased to be able to share them with you. While 100 Pedals is about my personal journey, I look forward to you joining me in your own personal way. Let’s ride together!

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Managing Adversity

## Lesson Two: Live With Passion

March 27, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Through the uniqueness of our skills, talents, and experiences we discover and realize our passion; we honor and celebrate that gift by freely sharing it with others.”

Throughout my life I have pursued and embraced a role based on what I believed I was supposed to be or needed to become. In essence, I was an actor in my own life story. I discovered my true passion when I stepped off the stage and became authentic to who I was — embracing the uniqueness of my talents, skills, and abilities to guide, support, and inspire others. In this transformation I am able to live my life with passion.

Accomplishing this occurs in the following steps:

1. Get off the stage:

a. Stop playing a role to something I believe I need to be or to become.

b. Embrace the authenticity of who I am and be the best me I can be.

I have been blessed with a distinct set of gifts, talents, skills, and experiences. It is these unique qualities that define me and make me great. I have abandoned the roles and perceptions that were historically owned, heard, accepted, or used to define what I was or who I believed I needed to become. I am who I am. Being authentically me is how my unique gifts become a resource for others. My honest commitment to be the best me I can be is what enables me to offer guidance, insight, love and inspiration to those looking for what I have to offer.

2. Discover my passion:

a. Identify and embrace who I am, what I love, what gives me energy and joy.

b. Reconnect to those moments in my life where I am happiest, at peace, and fully engaged.

I experience joy, peace, and happiness when I am true to me. I am most energized and engaged when I simply live and celebrate the gifts I have to offer. It is in these moments where I realize and discover the emotional connection to what inspires and excites me. The joy of these experiences is not dependent upon any role I am playing at the time. Rather, they are directly related to my ability to freely live and interact in concert with who I am. I have developed a heightened awareness of the occurrences of these experiences throughout my life. As a result, I am able to manage my environment to make these positive emotional experiences a regular aspect of my current existence.

3. Share my gifts

a. It is through my passion that I am able to connect, engage, and support others to impact change

b. Because my passion is a gift, I must constantly make it accessible and available to others

It is in the open, selfless and collaborative sharing of unique gifts that significant change or incredible accomplishments are realized and celebrated. I continually search for and value those resources that assist me on my journey. Through the insight and inspiration of these resources I learn, grow and succeed. Similarly, it is in the sharing of my gifts that others can discover and celebrate successful outcomes in their lives. As my unique abilities are a gift to me, I am responsible for making these gifts available to others at all times regardless of where I am or how I am on my journey. It is my commitment to always be that resource for others who are looking for what I have to offer. It is in the open collaboration of our gifts and abilities powerful change is affected.

Filed Under: Live With Passion

## Lesson Three: Practice Humility

March 26, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Our ego builds walls to help us survive in troubling times; yet, they also prevent us from accessing what we need the most — the love, strength, wisdom, and experience of others.”

In my darkest hours, I came to believe my greatest source of survival was my inner strength and my inner will. In the heat of battle, I called on my internal forces to guide me, sustain me, and push me forward no matter how much I struggled with the pain and frustration of what was going on around me. In my focused and determined commitment to get through it on my own, I was completely unaware of the physical and mental tolls of my solitary battle to survive. I was convinced this was my challenge, my battle and my personal adversity. In that mindset, I was completely unaware of or not receptive to all the resources being offered that provided comfort, inspiration, love, and support through difficult and trying times. Instead of being open and accepting, I built a fortress around my feelings, my pain, and my struggles and continued to fight these battles on my own as though that was my only option and resource.

Little did I realize how powerful these resources were. Until I became vulnerable, humble and receptive to these resources, I battled, struggled, and survived. Once I opened up my heart and my mind to the powerful insights and influences of others, great changes and outcomes started to occur.

Practicing humility takes on three behavioral traits:

1. Authenticity: I am real and true to myself at all times. I do not need to have the answers, I do not need to know what to do next, or do I need know how to fix what is broken. I know who I am. I know what I do best, I know what I have to offer others, and I know what my values, beliefs, and gifts are. Being consistently and authentically me enables me to live, love, and learn without fear, judgement, or pride. When lost, confused, or struggling, I am comfortably honest with myself to ask for the help, guidance, and advice of others.
2. Collaboration: I cannot solve any problems, discover all the answers to any challenges, or experience incredible outcomes without the support, guidance, insights and feedback of others. My life is not about being right, being in control, being in smart, or winning – my life is defined by how effectively I can, in active collaboration with others, discover the solutions to the challenges every one faces every single day. It is through the open, receptive, inspired and caring collaboration that I am able to leverage my skills, offer my support, and engage others to guide and inspire me on my journey and them on theirs.
3. Community: It is often said it takes a village. Change, success, accomplishment, innovation and incredible outcomes can only be achieved through an inspired, focused, and committed community. The strength of any community is defined by the effectiveness with which it makes everyone involved better. Success and accomplishment are measured and defined not by what I did and accomplished; but, what those around me were able to do as a result of my interaction and engagement with them. The practice of humility not only requires that I have the courage to access those that can assist and guide me, especially in my most challenging moments; but, it also requires that I have the strength, the love, and the grace to actively engage in supporting and guiding others regardless of where I am on my journey.

Filed Under: Practice Humility

## Lesson Four: Make A Commitment

March 25, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

Make a Commitment:

“The depth of your success is directly related to the intensity of your commitment.”
I have always trusted and believed in my ability to accomplish just about anything when I put my mind to it. The key to that truth is the “put my mind to it.” Whenever have focused in on a goal or an objective, I usually get there. There is more to a commitment than simply having the internal fortitude to focus on achieving it. Now that I understand that added dimension to making and honoring commitments, my ability to focus on and realize incredible outcomes have been significantly enhanced.

The key to making commitments you honor and honoring the commitments you make take on require the following behavioral shifts and realities:

1. The Words I Use: I have eliminated three words from from my vocabulary -“try”, “but”, and “can’t.” Each of these words reflect a weakened commitment of one form or another. A commitment is an unrelenting willingness to fulfill or honor a promise or an obligation. If making a commitment is within your control, so too is honoring one. Each of these three words imply that there is some aspect in life that prevents use from making and honoring a commitment. I choose not to exist in that unempowered reality. Defining a course of action, agreeing to engage in an activity, or delivering an outcome are all commitments that I can and will honor when I make them to myself or others.
2. Celebrating Daily Accomplishments: Once a commitment to a desired outcome has been made, the key to achievement is the celebration of little daily accomplishments. Big outcomes are the result of a series of consistent, little steps. Great achievement require that every day I must do something in action toward my desired outcome. Every day I succeed in these actions is another day to celebrate progress towards my objective. While my commitment may be a significant undertaking, these little steps and their related celebrations provide me the positive reinforcement and momentum that keeps me focused and moving forward.
3. The Result is Bigger Than Me: A commitment is only worthy when the desired outcome impacts, influences, or inspires others. Simply creating a goal for the benefit of others will not change the world — including mine. Having a vision for accomplishment with an understanding of its greater purpose inspires and engages others; plus, makes the outcome more significant while increasing ones obligations toward achievement. Simply having a goal to benefit oneself are not significant in themselves — they are merely measures of personally driven accomplishment. The real value in any goal is found in the impact that achieving the outcome has the world around you. If you are going to do something bigger than yourself, you will need something greater than you to accomplish it!

Filed Under: Make A Commitment

## The Power of Humility

March 19, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“It is in the practice of humility that we seek out the support and guidance of those that can truly help us.”

Though I am a very socially outgoing and engaging person, I value my private and alone time. When it comes to certain activities, like working out, riding my bike, and even in travel, I really value the solitude of my personal, private, quiet space. Having been a serious competitive swimmer in high school and college, my competitive training always involved hours of laps in the pool — alone.

The advantage of this alone time is that I learned to rely on my ability to push myself to be successful. The downside of this lesson is that I came to believe that it was up to me to discover solutions to the challenges I faced in life. At an early age, even before swimming, the safest place for me in the face of adversity was to call upon my internal resources to survive and figure it out.

My ego became the foundation upon which I survived everything and through which I accomplished what I did. I came to believe that my ego enabled me to be strong, successful, and focused in the face of every conflict. And, I learned to trust the power of my will and ego over everything and every one.

What I did not realize is that my ego, while protecting me, was also preventing me from accessing the very resources I needed to not only survive; but, to be successful in my adversity or conflict.

You never need to be alone. In fact, your are never alone. The belief or notion that you are solely responsible for dealing with pain, conflict, and adversity is incredibly misplaced. There are people who come into your life for the sole reason to be a resource to you in your time of trouble. And, there are people who exist in your life, who have been brought into your life, to inspire you to greater levels of success and accomplishment. Unfortunately, we often erect these incredibly high safety walls through our ego that give us a false sense of protection while preventing us from accessing what we need most.

Humility is that moment of authentic reality that we cannot do this alone.

Humility allows us to be honest with ourselves and others that while we believe in our ability to manage our chaos, we need the guidance, support, and inspiration of our trusted resources to work through it.

Humility is where we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and let people into our inner circle with openness and trust. For, it is in this authentic, honest, and receptive place where we find the reinforcements that will guide us through our personal challenges.

Your ego is designed to protect you. Remember it also can be a deceptive fortress that also prevents valued and trusted resources from assisting you. I love training alone. I love the solitude of my own thoughts, ideas, and meditations. I love pushing myself to limits I never believed were physically or personally possible. However, I discovered that in my most difficult and trying times, the best outcomes were realized when I finally admitted that I didn’t have the ability or the strength to go it alone. When I finally made that discovery, the power and influence of those around me took off and I found an entirely new and empowered level of accomplishment and peace.

You can go it alone. You can convince yourself that it is hard to know who to trust. You can burn yourself out carrying the load alone. Or, you can openly and freely admit that you cannot go any further without help. When you do that with authentic honesty and trust, the world opens up to you. The people in your life are there for a reason — ask for help and trust their commitment to you.

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Practice Humility

## Focus on What Matters Most

March 12, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

Success is not measured by what you plan to do, it is measured by what you accomplish. Celebrate your accomplishments.

How many of you organize and manage your life through a to-do list or daily planner? There was a time when the people who organized, managed, and maintained a detailed list of tasks, responsibilities, and commitments really impressed me. I always felt so lost compared to the organizational skills of those folks…

Until I realized how much time was being spent keeping track of things that needed to get done, creating priorities for stuff that didn’t get done, and adding stuff to the list that will not get done.

That is when I started to rethink my lists and obligations. Being busy is not being productive. Being organized does not translate into efficient productivity. And productivity is not merely measure by what gets accomplished, it also involves how it is accomplished — honoring commitments, quality of performance, plus accomplishment and fulfillment.

Personally, I do not manage a to-do list. My list is not defined by what I need to do in terms of tasks, it is managed by what I intend to accomplish. Splitting hairs? Maybe. Let’s explore.

Making lists of what needs to be done is a perpetual cycle. We put stuff on our list that we have no idea when or how we are going to get it done. We even tell ourselves we will do it, even though we know we have no time to do it. Then, when the end of the day comes and we look at the long list and the few things we actually took off of it, we redo our list for the next day, next week, or next planning cycle.

We are constantly moving tasks around in perpetual motion of all the things we need to do, without thinking about why we are actually doing them in the first place. And, since the list never stops growing, we have very little time to truly celebrate accomplishment or focus on what is most important.

Not keeping a list is very empowering. It allows me to focus on those activities that are most important. It also enables me to manage a simple list while discovering and celebrating accomplishment and energy along the way. And, I spend almost zero time managing the strategy and size of my list. I focus on what is important, I make and honor my commitments, and I have more time to focus on the actual tasks, not planning the tasks.

Here is how it works.

1. Understanding your priorities: My personal objectives are: mind, body, spirit. My professional objectives are: business, clients, relationships. I manage my time, my responsibilities, and my commitments to these priorities. I make time for these things most every day. When one day takes me out of balance, I balance it back by adjusting my priorities the following day or later in the week.
2. Manage your commitments: I only commit to time frames that I can honor relative to my priorities, I manage the demands and expectations of others, and I only focus on what is important once I understand WHY it is important. I am not selfish with my time, I simply know that my time is more important to me than it is to others. And, I know what is important and critical to my personal and professional success and manage my commitments in a manner that enables me to be most successful.
3. Find your resources: I am a pretty talented, creative, and resourceful person. I do not do anything that I do not do well. If I take on something that is over my head, complicated or scary, I enroll the support of someone who is better at that task than me. That way I have the time to focus on what I do best while developing a collaborative relationship with others. Over time I build and develop a team of resource partners which becomes more productive for all of us in our quest to be efficient and productive.
4. Keep it simple: My to-do list is never longer than three to four tasks a day — that is all I have time for. I cannot make a list of ten things and expect to accomplish them in a day. Do the math. If each task averages one hour that is ten hours. How can you do that? If each task averages thirty minutes, that is still five hours. Is breakfast, lunch, dinner, time for your friends, children or spouse on that list? Is that unplanned meeting on your list? Guess what, you cannot manage a list of eight to ten tasks and be successful — it is logically impossible. Keep your list simple. Focus on what is most important and empower yourself to discover, understand, and embrace what is important. The rest is simply details.

Thanks for your time.

Filed Under: Maintaining Focus, Make A Commitment

## Appreciating Every Adventure

March 5, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“The challenging adventures in your journey are powerful paths designed to provide you strength, awareness and accomplishment for positive, celebratory reflection on the calmer, easier days.”

It seems like nothing is ever as fast and easy as we desire. And, when we do declare our frustration with the process, one of our friends will toss out the standard line “if it were easy anyone could do it.” Life’s journeys are designed to be challenging so we can appreciate two things about them: how difficult it was and all the amazing things we learned along the way. If life was as simple as we all would like it to be, we would not learn very much about ourselves under pressure and we wouldn’t benefit from the knowledge gained as it relates to the experience.

Life is not easy. Life will never be easy. And, the more you embrace the gift of the adventure, the more you will realize how truly capable and strong you are. And, you will have incredible insights and stories to share with others who are experiencing what you already have gone through.

When I speak with people regarding their journeys and the difficulties they experience in working through life’s challenges, I help them focus on the opportunity of the challenge rather than attempting to understand why it is happening and how to make it stop. When something difficult is placed before you, it has not been put there for you to try to avoid it or understand it; it has been placed before you as an adventure – an opportunity to learn from the process of overcoming adversity and facilitate accomplishment.

When I attended my oldest son’s PhD ceremony last spring, the speaker talked about the excitement of adventures. As he detailed a few of his more significant adventures, he emphasized that his best adventures were the ones that began from the direst situations. Then, as he found his way out of trouble, he was able to look back at what started out as a very frightening, serious situation and discover excitement and accomplishment in having worked his way through the adventure. As he explained in his talk, it is in the moment of our adventures that we learn the most about ourselves and it is the greatest source of innovation and growth. While most adventures aren’t necessarily very fun at the beginning, the experience, the lessons, and the outcome can be very satisfying and beneficial in the long term.

I look at the adventures in my life over the past few years as some of the most painful and yet, most rewarding, powerful time in my life. Dealing with Brandon’s addiction related issues have caused me more pain than I ever thought possible. On the other hand, the lessons, the experience, and the transformation in my life have been an incredible gift. Here is an adventure that very nearly destroyed me and is now inspiring me in ways I never thought or believed possible. I did not always find the experience enjoyable or easy. I wasn’t always patient in searching for the answers. And, I often struggled to keep moving. However, I trusted in myself and in those around me and reminded myself to keep going forward, no matter what. In the end, I kept moving, I continually listened to others for advice and inspiration, and I allowed myself to engage with those who were in a position to love, guide, and support me. And, while many aspects of the adventure are not behind me, I have discovered a great deal about myself, my life and my passion – all because I faced this adventure as a challenge with a commitment to passionately focus on working and learning through it.

When we find ourselves in the midst of an unplanned adventure remember, there are no shortcuts and there are no easy, quick answers. The best we can do for ourselves in that situation is keep moving, keep learning, keep believing and focus on discovering how to work through it so we can appreciate the lessons and celebrate the story afterward.

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Inspirational Perspectives, Live With Passion, Make A Commitment, Managing Adversity, Seizing Opportunity