100 Pedals

Recovery for Parents Dealing with Addiction in their Families

## There is Power in Our Struggle

August 11, 2025 by Dave Cooke 2 Comments

> “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

There have been many times where I have said to myself, “I cannot take this anymore.” The deception, the pain, the frustration, and the struggle had taken their toll on me. One day I realized I was fighting a battle, not with my son, but with myself and society.

I was determined that, as his father, I should be able to save, inspire, rescue, cure, and fix my son. Every failure, every setback, every relapse, every deception seemed like failure. I was failing as a parent. I was failing as a father. The fact that my son was struggling with drugs in the first place was a reflection on me as a parent. I must have failed somewhere along the line. Now, it was up to me to right the ship, undo the mistakes, and fix the problem. Except I can’t. I must be failing.

When I read this verse, I look at the word “weakness” not as a personal failing or flaw, but something that exists in my life that makes me human. We all have strengths - those aspects in our personality or DNA that are unique, special, and powerful to us. We also have weaknesses - areas where we are not as strong which require we focus on improving on, developing, our rely on others with those strengths to guide and support us. No one is perfectly gifted in every aspect life. Everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses. Many people go to great lengths to hide their weaknesses for fear of what others might think if anyone ever knew what those weaknesses were.

A weakness is not a failing. It is simply not our strength. It is not how we desire people to discover who we are. We want everyone to see our gifts and hide our shortcomings. But a weakness can be a gift. Once we recognize where we could be stronger, better, or more developed it creates the potential to improve on it. Rather than hide our weakness, we bring it into the open in all authenticity and humility so we can begin to work-on, improve, or minimize that weakness within us.

I look at addiction, or being the parent dealing with addiction in the family as a weakness. It is something that we have in our lives that isn’t the most exciting, wonderful, or joyous component of our world. It does not make us screwed up, a failure, socially unacceptable, or an outcast. Only we can do this to ourselves. If we let others label our weakness with their judgment, we are surrendering the potential power in our weaknesses to their scrutiny.

Nobody is perfect. Everyone has a weakness. The weaknesses in each of us is what enables and challenges us to learn, grow, develop, change, inspire, and honor. It is the brave, courageous, and powerful person that brings their weaknesses into view so they can change, improve, or alter it.

If your child is dealing with an addiction, recognize it is a weakness to deal with. It is not a failing or a flow. It is your struggle. It is an opportunity to powerfully use that weakness to educate and teach, to overcome ignorance and fear, and to inspire, guide and love others dealing with the same weakness.

The weakness of my son’s addiction is not a failing, it is a gift. As I learn, grow, and challenge myself to manage this weakness in my family everything I learn represents an opportunity to help others while educating those who don’t understand or are terrified of the word “addiction.”

> Get your complimentary audio of my program “Three Ways to Rise Above the Addiction Drama.” Taken from the lessons of my experiences with my youngest son’s heroin addiction, I provide three behavioral tips for parents that will help them find more peace and clarity in dealing with the chaotic and destructive actions of a child dealing with addiction. To get your complimentary copy click here.

Filed Under: Lessons In Addiction, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction Tagged With: addiction, addiction and parenting, hope and parenting, managing adversity, parenting, parenting and recovery, peace and adversity, recovery

## The story I am living and telling

July 21, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

> “Some chapters just have to close without closure. You can’t lose yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken.” ~ Trent Shelton

Between this quote and the picture, I may seem that today’s blog is officially Trent Shelton day. It just may be. When someone shares a series of concepts that precisely reflects a philosophy I embrace, why not passionately share it?

When I was planning today’s post, I wanted to share my perspective on the story we tell and the way it is reflected in how we live our lives. As the parent of a child battling an addiction, my story could be about his struggle and my journey with him in his struggle.

While the story of his addiction is very much a significant component of my life, it is not my life and it does not define how I live it. I would love for my son to find a path to his recovery. I pray for him to find happiness, peace, and joy in a life free from his addiction. My hope for him every single day is that he moves closer to a path of purpose and clarity in celebrating and sharing the gifts, talents, and skills he has blessed with. Because of my unconditional love for him, his story is a significant chapter in my life and my story.

That is where my story with my son ends and the complete story of my life begins. For I am a dad to two other children, a husband to a wife who cares for me more than I deserve, and an awesome circle of marvelous, gifted friends; plus, I have been blessed with a unique set of my own skills, talents, and abilities that others are looking for me to offer every single day.

My life cannot be put on hold by my son’s addiction. It is not appropriate, fair, or responsible. He is living, making, and defining his choices. They are his decisions. They are going to made with or without me. Many times I do like, enjoy, celebrate, or appreciate them. Often they hurt, confuse, frustrate, and pain me. Yet, this is the path he has taken and there is nothing I can do to alter it. My gifts of unconditional love, eternal hope, and the offer of my wisdom and encouragement are the most I can deliver. That is a great deal and it is going to have to be enough. Anything more, impacts my life in adversarial ways and creates a detour on my path to living, loving, and celebrating what I have been called to do.

Every day I wake up I am presented with an amazing opportunity to live, celebrate, and enjoy the gifts in your life. This is my story. The story will be told about my life is how I lived, grew, succeeded, loved, and celebrated my life despite the chaos and adversity around me. Those that come into my life have the opportunity to choose how their story is being lived and told. It is their story, not mine. I am very careful not to lose sight of that fact or my story ends up getting lost in someone else’s life story. It is better to celebrate and enjoy my life to the best of my ability. I cannot chose how someone’s story is told, lived, shared, celebrated, or completed. All I have is the life I have been given, the gifts I been blessed with, and the calling to share those gifts in love to others. That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Filed Under: Addiction, Giving Love, Lessons In Addiction, Live With Passion, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Uncategorized Tagged With: 100Pedals, addiction, addiction and parenting, commitment, hope, hope and parenting, love, parenting, passion, recovery, recovery and parenting, the story of our life, trent shelton

## Slaying the Giant

July 14, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

> If only we could focus on the fact that addiction is what is behind this [epidemic], not heroin, and begin to treat the right aspects of it; to help addict’s overcome their disease instead of just their heroin use. If you help an addict recover from their disease, they don’t have to use any substance, including heroin. [The threat is] the ever steady and more noticeable…disease of addiction that has been around since humans realized that substances could offer relief to a discontentedness within themselves. [Addiction] is real…it is killing people… if we helped individuals…solve that need for relief. If we offered them a solution to their addiction. There would be no need for heroin. Until then, the Addiction Epidemic will continue on, and on, and on…As long as addiction keeps going untreated and unnoticed, there will be a new drug problem every day, every week, every month, and every year. ~ ~ Rhea Rosier, “Stop Calling it a Heroin Epidemic. It’s Actually an Addiction Epidemic“

I read the article where this quote was taken from several months ago. I essentially archived it until now. The key point in this quote and the article resonated with me; yet, I struggled with articulating its relevance without going on a long winded diatribe.

Yesterday, sitting in a worship service, my pastor reflected on the story of David and Goliath. In his talk, he put Goliath into a different context for me. The giant, Goliath, was not the real problem in the story. Goliath was actually a manifestation of the other issues that existed at the time. As my pastor put it, we all face giant problems every day - work issues, health troubles, financial struggles, relationship problems. They are not the real issue, they are a manifestation of a bigger question - are we truly focusing our lives in the correct direction?

Through my pastor’s message and the author’s writing, I am reminded that our giant problem is not heroin. Our society has an addiction problem. Far too many people are lost, hurt, disenfranchised, suffering, unloved, and uncared for. When they reach a point where they cannot find hope and opportunity in their lives - they escape, retreat, quit. Heroin is one of those paths. It is not the only path. It is the giant we see today; but, killing the giant will not make the real problem go away.

Our relentless, selfish pursuit of wealth, affluence, influence, and power are interrupted and corrupting the individual pursuit of self-actualization. We are defined by our job title, our income, our societal status, and by the success and accomplishment of our children - which is measured by the same scorecard. We have created a vicious, unhappy, unending perpetual cycle of fear, stress, and conformity. Very few people thrive in this environment. In fact, far too many are destroyed by it. This is the source of our addiction problem.

We can help fix it; but, it requires us to recognize the problem, seek a recovery from it, and help others find their recovery.

Every one of us has had a moment of absolute pain, doubt, isolation, fear, or hopelessness. Fortunately, many of us have found a way through the heartache and confusion. Whether you are willing to admit it our not, you did not do it alone. Each one of us who found our way out of the darkness and the despair had a friend who stepped into our mess and offered us their love, their hope and their encouragement. From there, we moved forward and changed, improved, or altered our lives.

The problem of addiction requires the same commitment. Yes, I would love to solve the heroin problem; but, I am more committed to solving our human problem. Every one of us comes across someone who is at their point of absolute failure every single day. Whether we see it or not, is a different discussion. We constantly comes across people who are ready to give up, quit, escape, and surrender.

You can help them. You know what it is like to be in that place and you also know what it is like to be given the gift of love. You want to slay the dragon - pay it forward, give the gift of love, hope, opportunity, and encouragement freely, selflessly, and unconditionally. You will change a life and begin the healing process for someone who needs it. Solving the problem takes a lot of little steps and your consistent effort creates a great deal of powerful momentum. Make that commitment to help those around you - that is how we will collectively slay the giant among us.

Filed Under: Addiction, Lessons In Addiction, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Uncategorized Tagged With: addiction and love, addiction intervention now, giving love, heroin and love, hope, hope and parenting, parenting, parenting and addiction, parenting and love, Rhea Rosier, slaying goliath, slaying the dragon

## The Strong Parent

June 18, 2025 by Dave Cooke 4 Comments

If we allow our child’s addiction to destroy our lives, we will have nothing to offer them when they need us most, and we will have failed them as parents. We must be strong for ourselves first and find strength, hope, clarity, and opportunity in following that path.

Filed Under: Lessons In Addiction, Live With Passion, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Uncategorized, Video lessons Tagged With: addiction, hope and addiction, hope and parenting, parenting, parenting and addiction, parenting and recovery, recovery and hope, recovery and parenting