100 Pedals

Recovery for Parents Dealing with Addiction in their Families

## Avoiding the Desperate, Unfulfilling Quest

February 27, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Pursue what is in your heart and waste little time on the things you think you want or replacing what you may have lost.”

The other day I was listening to a performance of the song “Desperado.” I have heard this song hundreds of times and it never hit me this way until this time.

Desperado is a song about someone who has lived their life on the fences watching opportunities passing by. It warns of chasing dangerous dreams and wasting time on unfulfilling activities. And, it speaks to the criticality of limited time in one’s life.

Whether this was a heightened awareness from my journey, divine inspiration, or a little of both – hearing this song touched my heart in an entirely new, unique and powerful way.

Many of us are living our lives at a crossroads. We have experienced the joys of life, love, and success. We have been bounced around by the storm of the past few years. In many cases our sense of normal has taken a hit. Whatever the personal or professional challenge, there is a sense of urgency to re-discover the path we were on. However, our tolerance for failure, our sense of adventure, and our confidence have all taken a hit. It is as if we are now sitting on a fence, looking around, trying to figure it all out before we can safely engage again.

“The queen of hearts is always your best bet.” As you struggle to find your way, remember chase what is in your heart, not the things you think you want or replacing what you may have lost. These are the “queen of diamonds, who will beat you when she’s able.” Many of us have spent an entire lifetime playing or living a role to be something or accomplish something (diamonds) at the expense of being true to who we are (hearts).

Now that you find yourself at that place trying to decide what to do next, start by being who you are, not what you want to be. One is true and authentic to what you have been blessed and gifted with; the other is merely a role that you have been playing in pursuit of something that you cannot have. Follow your heart, follow your passion, and embrace that which fulfills, energizes, and inspires you.

Discovering your passion and reconnecting with the real you will not be easy. The process is a blend of courage and honesty: courage to discover and embrace the transition, honesty to make the assessment and authentically engage with the person you really are.

I have met with a lot of people who are stuck in life. They are stuck because they are still attempting to re-create and replace what they believe they were; or, they are still building something that enables them to become who they want to be. In either case, they unknowingly live on the fence as their life passes them by.

Rather than trying to become someone or play a role about being something special, we simply need to be ourselves – to be who we are. Anything else is wasted energy and is largely unfulfilling or likely impossible.

The best we can do for ourselves is discover what makes us happiest, the most fulfilled, inspiring, and passionate. It is in that assessment and discovery that we realize who we are. And, from there, we begin our quest to be the best “me” we can be.

> Why don’t you come to your senses?

> C ome down from your fences, open the gate

> It may be rainin’, but there’s a rainbow above you

> You better let somebody love you…before it’s too late

The most important person to love, at this point, is you. And, the person you need to love is not the person you have defined by your roles or your successes as an actor in your life. Rather, the person you need to love is the one that makes you who you already are and always have been.

Rediscover those aspects in your being that make you happiest and most passionate and most inspiring – these are the gifts you have been blessed with. Then, get off the fence and starting living your life in confidence and with love to who you are. And, the rest will take care of itself!

Filed Under: Live With Passion, Living Your Purpose, Make A Commitment

## Getting Out Of The Rut

February 20, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“When the going is easy the wind is at your back, push hard; when the going gets tough, push harder.”

If you have been a regular reader of my 100 Pedals posts, this quote is probably familiar to you. I have relied on this one a few times. I come back to this quote many times because it is a great reminder that the difference between success and almost is how we respond to adversity. It is in the midst of difficulty that many of us struggle to keep our momentum or simply keep moving. Yet, it is in these difficult times that moving forward is the most important thing we can do. Once we lose our momentum, it is easier to slip into that rut, than fight our way out. The secret — don’t lose momentum!

I have had several conversations lately where the people I have been talking with recognize they allowed something to interrupt their momentum. In each one of these situations, something happened that caused them to lose focus, then confidence, and then progress. Once they lost progress, they stopped moving and once they stopped moving, they discovered whatever they were aiming for now got a little farther away. Discouraged, they simply gave up for the time being.

When things are going well, it is way to easy to get comfortable with your progress. When things are going well, one great day is followed by another. Good news is followed by better news and many little accomplishments start to add up to giant leaps forward. It is easy to build on and maintain momentum in good times.

Then, as is expected and predictable in life, something doesn’t go as planned. All of a sudden there is controversy, conflict, a less than positive event, or even a nagging cold. Next thing you know, you aren’t feeling as good, confident, productive or successful. And, it seems nearly impossible to even think about making progress. You are simply trying to get through the next day. It is then that adversity makes any effort nearly impossible and you are distracted by the conflict.

When you face an uphill battle and the wind is directly in your face it is never more important or critical to push than at that very moment. If you had to focus on one thing and one thing only, the most important thing to focus on is what is most important to your long-term vision and dream. Even though everything is falling down around you and you are being distracted by these potential negative influences, nothing is more important and more essential than your mission — nothing!

Next time you find yourself in a rut, the only way to dig out of it is to get busy and start moving forward. Anything else will cost you time, energy, momentum and confidence. Nothing is more challenging or difficult than pushing through the hard days. Yet, nothing is more fulfilling or energizing when you realize how much you accomplished in the face of adversity. It is there that you discover how much you can truly accomplish even in the most trying of times. It is there you prepare yourself for the next time it happens - for it will. And, it is in those moments that you realize what a powerful force you can be when you have your vision, keep your focus and maintain your momentum.

When things are easy, anyone can be successful. It is in the face of adversity where those who are focused and determined are separated from the dreamers and become doers. Stay focused, keep moving, and don’t let anything distract you or interrupt your progress and accomplishments.

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Maintaining Focus, Make A Commitment

## Letting Go of the Anchors in Your Life

February 13, 2026 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“We can anchor our life to those aspects that make us feel safe but don’t help us; or, we can sever the connection and get moving.”

The transition process in life is a tricky one. There are aspects of our life that enable us to feel safe and secure. Yet, it is those very components that also keep us from completing our transition. While we consciously know the adverse or limiting aspect that relationship or situation has on our life, we cling to it anyway. It is the unconscious attachment that we need to spend time exploring and understanding.

It is much easier to attach ourselves to something that is not necessarily in our best interest, than to disconnect and face the unknown. Dancing with the devil you know, is easier than looking for a new situation you don’t know. There is risk in the change of facing an unknown outcome. And, there is little perceived risk in not changing because at least you know what you are dealing with. Or, is there?

What are the real risks associated with severing the ties to a bad situation?

Keeping one foot grounded in the past, attached to a negative situation, with the awareness that it really is not what you need to be doing keeps you from truly moving forward toward your vision. When a boat is anchored, it cannot move very far from its spot. You can let out as much line as possible and do some exploring. But, in reality the boat can only go so far; and, can only go in a big giant circle while attached to the anchor. The risk in staying tethered to something is that you can only go so far before you get pulled back in.

Making these transitions are not always easy. Marriages, careers, friends are all long term commitments that are not easily fixed or readily changed. However, the conscious decision to change your life — to make it better, more fulfilling, more empowering, and more impactful- are more likely achieved in an environment that enables you to be positive, to grow, to evolve, and to embrace new behaviors and experiences. Anything that holds you back, gets in your way, or doesn’t support the transition is an anchor.

I have had several conversations this past week with people, including Brandon, who are hanging on to relationships they value; but, these are also relationships that limit their personal and future growth. While they embrace their loyal, steady, and committed feelings for the other person, it is clear that the influences these people have on them, keep them in the present and prevent them from moving and growing into their future.

It is a scary proposition to think about simply cutting the rope to the anchor and drifting off with the current. However, you know the current will take you somewhere new and different. The anchor merely keeps you in your safe, undesirable place. It is much, much more empowering to set yourself free from those things that hold you back. Yes, it is risky and scary. But, it also adventurous and new and fresh.

Instead of staying tethered to those things that hold you back and keep you going around in circles; embrace the opportunity to explore something fresh, different and empowering. Embracing this attitude and approach will change your life, your surroundings, and your outcomes. It may not be easy; but, the outcome is what you need to embrace.

Filed Under: Focusing On Your Vision, Inspirational Perspectives, Seizing Opportunity

## Always Being Accessible

February 6, 2026 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

Last week I was sharing with a good friend the challenges I faced through Brandon’s behaviors, experiences, and journey. At one point she commented on my ability to stay focused and keep moving despite the painful distractions these events created. What I shared with her was one of the four powerful lessons of 100 Pedals – embracing responsibility. Despite what has happened or what I experience in my life, it is not my attitude that keeps me moving; but, my responsibility for making my unique gifts constantly available to others.

We have all been blessed with our own remarkable set of very special gifts, talents and abilities. We may not yet know or confidently embrace what those gifts are. And, we may not yet be prepared to consciously and powerfully share them with everyone (lesson two: living with passion). Regardless of the state of awareness to our uniqueness, it still exists in us and others can and do see it in us even if we don’t. The difference between consciously sharing and unconsciously offering your gifts is found only in the power and with which you bring your unique qualities into action.

These special abilities in all of us bring us together to accomplish great things. It is through our gifts that we touch, connect, support, influence, and help others. And, it is through the gifts of others that we find and share energy, joy, perspectives and experiences.

There are people on their own personal journey looking for exactly what we have to offer. And, even though we may not be aware of the impact that we can have on these individuals, we still have so much to offer them simply by engaging, living, and connecting with them. Despite our frame of mind, regardless of our own challenges, and even if we do not yet embrace the power and influence of our uniqueness, we have a responsibility to make ourselves available to others. Because there are those people in need of what we have to offer, we do not have the right to deny them access to our gifts, even if we are not physically or mentally prepared to do so.

I shared this perspective with Brandon. He was getting frustrated with the fact he wasn’t making the money he envisioned, getting a new job was becoming a challenge, and he resented living under the watchful, worrisome eyes of his parents. He started to withdrawl and head into a downward trend. I wondered out loud why he wasn’t going to his NA (narcotics anonymous) group. He shared that he didn’t feel he would get much out of it. I turned it around on him. He needs to go to that meeting to share and be available to others. For there is likely someone in that group looking for what he has to offer. By not being at the meetings, he is potentially denying someone access to him at a time when they need him most. While he may or not be aware of it, his presence at the meeting could have a profound effect on someone else’s life. It clearly made him rethink the purpose and the opportunities associated with his NA meetings.

Embracing responsibility is that simple. Our presence creates an opportunity for others to access what we have to offer. Because it is a gift we must share it with others as often and as freely as we possibly can – even if we cannot see it, know it, or own it – yet. Remember, someone is looking for what you have. Get out there and help them find it in you.

Filed Under: Embrace Responsibility, Inspirational Perspectives, Live With Passion, Living Your Purpose, Maintaining Focus, Make A Commitment