100 Pedals

Recovery for Parents Dealing with Addiction in their Families

## There is No Right or Wrong

April 30, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

There is no such thing as a bad decision. It is only after we receive more information do we realize we could have made a different one.

I was reflecting this morning on a very productive and engaging conversation last week. I was reviewing and sharing Lesson One – Embrace Responsibility from the 100Pedals Journey. In reviewing the words in the lesson I was reminded of the importance of the word choices in our lives.

The words we choose, the words we use, the words we hear, and how we hear them have tremendous influence on us. The more I focus on my experiences, my vision, and my lessons from 100Pedals, the more sensitive I am to the words I use when I am speaking, writing, or chattering with myself. For all of these conversations reflect our perspective on our life, our experience, and our future actions. And, I have become highly sensitized to the word choices of others, as well.

One of the most obvious word selections are “right” and “wrong.” I have clients who, as we review a sales conversation, immediately say “I didn’t do that right.” Or a friend will reflect on a life’s choice from years ago and say “I made the wrong decision.” Impossible.

When we do things in life we are making decisions and choices based on the information available at that time and in an environment constantly supplying us with new data and insights. Because we made a decision based on the best information available and relied on our best knowledge, skill, and experience at that time does not mean we made the wrong decision — it merely means that, in retrospect, we didn’t make the best decision.

I do not have the time or energy or patience to evaluate the various decisions I made in my life. I am sure I made some very poor choices. And, I probably do not always have the best conversations with people — even today, when I am most committed to them. That does not mean I do things the right way or the wrong way. It means I am constantly discovering ways to improve and do things differently.

Next time someone tells you that you are wrong — ask them to show you the rule book. I want to know where it says, “I am wrong!”

When we have a conversation, make a decision, or attempt to solve a problem, we are taking what we know and taking action. There are times when what we do, say, offer, or suggest may not be the best answer. And, when able to look at the situation with more insight, we may have done something differently. That is exactly how we need to treat our choices — discover, learn, improve.

Try this approach: “I am not as confident that I handled that as well I would have liked. I had hoped things turned out different. Next time I am in that situation what would I do, say, or offer — based on this experience and this outcome — differently?”

Our life cannot be defined by right and wrong. And, those that do and are, spend far too much time judging and being judged. And, they spend far too much time trying to please or satisfy people — real or imagined — which interrupts their ability to freely and openly express their true personality and the gift of their experiences.

Empower yourself to make choices in life. Trust that these choices are part of life’s experiences, reflect your commitment to pursue your vision, and demonstrate a willingness to passionately take some risks in the learning curve. Conversations about right and wrong will only slow you down — you don’t have time for that. You are too busy, too committed, and too inspired about your vision and your mission to let judgment interrupt progress.

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Learning From Experience

## Get Your “But” Out of The Way

April 23, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“Affecting change in your life is solely dependent upon you – give yourself permission to grow and get started!”

There are hundreds of reasons to explain why we can’t accomplish something. We can be very creative about all the various scenarios preventing us from finishing what we start; or, stop us from even putting our efforts into gear. In reality, there is only one reason for our inability to engage – us!

Today’s blog comes from recent personal experience. In fact, today’s blog emanates from my inability to passionately embrace and share the gift of 100Pedals. Much of what many of you have been able to share and experience with 100Pedals has been me being safe with it. I write a few blogs, offer daily inspiring quotes, and offer my story to those who are interested in it; but, I have yet to truly embrace and engage the passion, the energy, and my experiences of 100Pedals. This is because I have crafted all kinds of reasons that prevent me from fully engaging. Though 100Pedals has touched many people, inspired many lives, and influenced many positive outcomes, I have not allowed it to be all that it can be because I have been holding it back.

How can something I am so passionate, excited, and energized about be held back? The answer is simple – fear. I am not going to get into all the details about these fears, except to share that now that I realize and own my responsibilities associated with these fears I will not be holding back anymore. I am guiding 100Pedals to its full capabilities without hesitation, without fear, and without permission or approval from anyone.

I have been presented with a gift that reflects everything I believe in and am passionate about; and, regardless of my internal issues, I am turning 100Pedals loose.

We all have tons of reasons for holding back on opportunities, dreams, and visions that are important to us. Often we hear terms like “try”, “but”, “can’t”, “what if?” – which reflects these internal fears and self-imposed limitations in full swing.

When you passionately pursue something, the worst that can happen is failure. And, it is in our human nature to avoid failure. Unfortunately, we confuse not succeeding with failure. Not succeeding does not mean we failed. Not succeeding means we ended up in a place that was different than what we expected. That is not failure.

How can passionately pursuing an outcome, moving forward with purpose and ending up in an entirely new and different place be considered failure?

The experiences of the journey, the lessons learned along the way, and the transformation that occurs in your life as a result of the committed effort are all accomplishments. Accomplishment is growth and progress – it is not failure. The challenge is to avoid creating expectations for your journey. Expectations have a way of limiting your view of accomplishment and it specifically, narrowly defines your definition of success.

Instead, focus your perspective on a vision of your accomplishment – the emotional, physical, psychological impact of you living your life in complete passion, embracing your purpose. It is the daily celebration of our living with passion and purpose that brings peace, joy and clarity in our lives.

I held back on 100Pedals because I had started to create an expectation around its outcome –100Pedals had to be something. What got lost in this mind game was that 100Pedals is already something. All I need to do is passionately share it and confidently guide it on its path and 100Pedals will be whatever it is supposed to be. And, rather than my success by a defined set of expectations, I can celebrate – with passion and purpose – the experience, the lessons, and the journey of all that I learn and share along the way. This is a lot more inspiring and energizing than focusing on an outcome. Embracing the opportunity allows the journey to be the outcome.

You have two choices: Pursue, with passion, that which energizes and inspires you where the worst that can happen is “nothing.” (which is not true –something will happen!) Or, you can stay frozen –stuck in place — where the best that can happen is “nothing.”

Simply put, get your “but” out of your way – you are guaranteed to learn, enjoy and celebrate something along the way!

Filed Under: Focusing On Your Vision, Live With Passion, Living Your Purpose, Maintaining Focus, Make A Commitment

## Leaving Footprints

April 16, 2025 by Dave Cooke 1 Comment

“The impact of your life is measured by how your lessons live on in others.”

I have often heard people talk about their “legacy.” And, have participated in numerous conversations tied to the question — ”what is your legacy?” Previously, I considered this a significant, poignant question. However, over time, my perspective on this has changed in a subtle, yet significant, way.

What is important to me, regarding my time here on earth, is not how will I be remembered; rather, on how my lessons will be shared. I do not need any experience of these lessons to be attributed to me or credited to me, I simply desire they have enough of an impact on the lives of others that they live on long after I am gone.

There are those who worry about being forgotten. They have concerns that what they accomplished when they were alive is remembered, treasured, and valued. And, all this talk about “legacy” sounds like pyramid building — making certain I am remembered and not forgotten, when I am not gone.

If I have made an impact on people’s lives, I may not be forgotten by them. However, once those folks are gone, very likely I will be, too.

What will always live on is not the lessons, the experience, the commitment, and the insights that I brought to people; but, it is the application of all those teaching that continue to exist in the lives of others. When I touch people enough to influence their behaviors, attitudes, and conversations in a manner that they inspire, guide and love others, those lessons will live on even if no one remembers where they learned it. And, I am okay with that.

That is why I spend so much time encouraging everyone to discover, embrace, and live their passion. We have all been blessed with very unique gifts, talents, and abilities. Our uniqueness is why we are here. It is the open and free sharing of these gifts that enable us to make the difference in the lives of those around us. When we touch people with what we have to offer at a time when they need it most, we have an influence and an impact in their lives. And, that experience — that gift — will live long after you are gone, even if they don’t remember who gave it to them.

I have spent most of my life trying to build something to reflect my self-important brilliance, creativity and genius. It was important to me to be something awesome and big! Then, I realized that what I do best didn’t need to be built, constructed, or promoted — it simply needed to be owned, embraced and shared. When I discovered the incredible power of simply being me and the impact on others of sharing my gift, I realized the biggest challenge in my life is to be the best me I can be.

I have no concern about my legacy. It is my focused commitment to use the insights and lessons from all of my experiences to help others navigate through their adversity to discover incredible outcomes in their life. The lessons, when successfully applied and shared, will live on long after I am gone. I don’t need credit. I don’t need people to remember where they learned it. And, I don’t need any fancy eulogy. My only quest is that these lessons make enough of a difference that they continue to inspire and guide for years to come. End of story.

As you struggle to find your way in this world. Focus on what provides you the most peace, joy, and energy. Discover it. Embrace it. And, bring that emotional energy into your life every single day. That is you living your passion. When you share that energy you are sharing your gifts with others and you are making a difference every single time you do it. Build that into your life and you will have something much more influential and powerful than any legacy — you will be touching people in ways you may not even realize possible.

Instead of focusing on legacy, leave footprints. Unless someone knows whose footprints they are, no one will know they are yours. However, footprints always leave a mark and let’s others know someone has been there already and must know the way.

Filed Under: Embrace Responsibility, Giving Love, Live With Passion, Living Your Purpose, Make A Commitment

## What A Difference A Year Makes

April 9, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

When you look for opportunity in adversity, you will discover the strength and courage to face it.

It was a year ago that I celebrated the accomplishment of my goal — 100 consecutive bicycle rides of one hour or longer. I began those rides in a quest to gain control and perspective in my life in the face of the pain, confusion and desperation with Brandon’s addiction related issues. While I had no idea what these rides would offer me in terms of a solution or outcome, I proceeded forward with the mindset that I had to do something.

On this journey I discovered so much. I found strength, peace, my inner spirit, and perspective. And, as I shared my thoughts, pain, and experiences, I found a community of people who were both fans of the commitment and of the insights.

What I didn’t realize was how the lessons, the experiences, and the community would continue to influence me long after I celebrated my 100th ride.

Today, I celebrate the gift of the lessons and of a heightened awareness of all the incredible opportunities placed before me daily. It is because of the experiences of my journey that I am able to discover opportunity in the midst of conflict; and, I have found the confidence to embrace these challenges with a significant passion and commitment.

This does not mean any conflict is easy. It doesn’t mean I do not get nervous or concerned about it. Believe me, I have my moments. But, that is what they have become – mere moments. The lessons learned from previous experience and my ability to discover opportunity in the midst of these conflicts empower me to face adversity with the confidence that I can and will move through this; and, I will discover a solution and a lesson in the process.

I have two very close friends who faced their own adversities in the past year. Both of them loved their work — they enjoyed the experiences, the relationships and found incredible joy in being a resource to those around them in their professional assignments. In both situations, they found themselves rudely forced out of their jobs. In one case, their employer simply didn’t recognize the value of their work; and, in the other, their employer decided to plan for their retirement – even though they weren’t ready. In both cases, the experience was hurtful and painful. They had each made a passionate commitment to their profession. They loved what they were doing and they made a difference in the world. And, they felt kicked to the curb and devalued when they were forced out from something they really loved.

Fast forward a year. Both of them have begun to discover the joy and opportunity associated with the changes in their lives. They each embraced the future with the commitment that there is another opportunity waiting them. While they still feel the emotional pain of the overall experience, they have each found new joy as they discover and embrace other activities, opportunities and relationships. What each of them has started to realize is that the role that they played in their respective “jobs” may have been taken away; but, it does not change who they are. They have each discovered how to leverage their previous lessons and experiences to embrace opportunity in their lives. And, they have discovered that their ability to be awesome was not dependent upon their jobs, but exists within them. They can celebrate who they are anywhere, with anyone, at any time. That is very empowering!

What a difference a year makes! So true. Life throws us curves. Life can give us pain. Life can be very, very frustrating and hurtful. However, every painful, hurtful struggle is an opportunity to learn, grow and improve. We are often not prepared for what comes our way. However, we can have faith in who we are — our make-up, our previous experiences, and our community – that we will get through this; plus, we will discover a benefit from the experience, as well. When you look for opportunity in the challenge, you will find the strength and courage to face it. Enjoy and celebrate your life!

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Inspirational Perspectives, Managing Adversity

## The Visit

April 2, 2025 by Dave Cooke Leave a Comment

“You are never alone. There is always someone in your world looking to share their gifts and looking to discover those that you have to offer.”

One of the most incredible realizations along my 100 Pedals journey was the number of people who entered my life during my greatest struggles, offering to help. And, because of the inward facing, self-determined nature of my being I was not able to receive and accept their gifts when they visited me. It was only when a few of those more determined resources forced their way into my consciousness did I realize how much I was missing and how much others had to offer me.

Despite my belief that I was alone, that this was my battle, and I had to be a strong enough force to work through the pain and the challenges, the truth is I was never alone – there was a constant stream of people who stepped up and offered encouragement, advice, counsel, and love. Though I wasn’t in a place to receive or accept it, it doesn’t mean help wasn’t offered. For it was – time and time again.

One of the powerful lessons in the 100Pedals journey is practicing humility. I recently shared a lesson in humility in a recent blog post. Humility is recognizing that we cannot and need not fight our battles alone; and, there are people in our lives who are willing and prepared to assist us in our struggles and our life challenges. Our willingness to ask for and receive involves overcoming our determination that this is our battle and ignoring the misplaced perception of admitting failure if we have to ask for help. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Our real failing in our journey is our inability to ask for and receive help when it is offered to us. For it is our inability to recognize and appreciate the visit from committed and experienced resources who are offering help, that extends the struggle.

When I reflect on the number of people — many who I really did not know that well — who offered me counsel and guidance in my most difficult days, I am awed and humbled. The number of individuals who visited me on my journey, offered their profound empathy and counsel, and moved on is staggering. They moved on mostly because I was not in a place to receive or celebrate their visit and the gift of their support. I was still engaged in my internal struggle and embracing the notion that this was, after all, my personal battle. Had I been open to receive their guidance, their advice, their counsel, their support, I would have found strength in their presence. Instead, I sent them on the way, comforted by the fact they offered me something; but, I only received a very small piece of what they were attempting to give me.

The following quote relates to this experience: “People parade through your life for a reason; make the most of the opportunity to learn from every one of them.” Remember, whatever your challenge, your issue or your pain, you are never alone. People are brought into your life every day to assist you with what is troubling you the most. Be receptive and aware of their visit so you can maximize the opportunity to find the strength, guidance, support and love they have to offer. Though it may be your journey, you are never alone in it.

Filed Under: Giving Love, Managing Adversity, Practice Humility, Seizing Opportunity