How to find what you are looking for

November 14, 2025 by Leave a Comment

We cannot have, do, receive or create in others what does not exist within us first.

Everything we seek — love, affirmation, leadership, approval — must first be discovered from within before it can be fully integrated into our life. Once that essential component exists internally, is understood and assimilated into one’s being, only then will a person be in a powerful position to truly receive it from and share it with others.

How many times have we heard “Happiness starts from within” or “Home is where the heart is” or “You cannot find love until you love yourself first“? Each of these sayings and many more like them are a reminder what we seek in others we must first find in ourselves. As each of us look to others to help us find, discover, celebrate or enjoy those aspects we desire most in our lives, the stark reality is that no one can give us what we haven’t already given ourselves first. Now what? How can I find, discover or create that which is missing from within? Like everything it is a process.

  • Start by identifying those qualities, aspects, or traits you are looking for in another person.
  • Examine your behaviors, self-talk, and actions and evaluate your personal performance in your own life to those qualities.
  • Identify the gaps and define the actions you are going to begin to take that will improve on your own personal performance.
  • Create a standard by which you will begin to treat yourself and help yourself achieve.
  • Put the action plan to work, make changes along the way, while celebrating and measuring your progress.
  • After a while, you will be living your life in the manner you desire and giving you what you need most.
  • Since you are not looking for “it” anymore, you will not be searching it out.
  • When you stop looking for “it” you will find what you are looking for in others and you will be drawn towards those people that exemplify what you valued most. The difference is, you now know what it really is and how it truly manifests itself in your life.

Each of us is responsible for who we are and where we are going. While components of our journey take on paths where we seek in others what cannot find in ourselves, we will not find what we are looking for in others until we first find it within us. It is only then that we can appreciate this gift in others and allow their gifts to manifest themselves within us.

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Embrace Responsibility Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

What kind of example are you setting?

October 16, 2025 by Leave a Comment

“What you do and say is always being observed by someone impacted by your actions.”

As parents, adults, and leaders the best lesson we can provide anyone, especially our children, is to lead by the example of how we live our lives. Telling someone what you expect, believe, or demand is only credible from a leadership perspective if that is the standard by which you both lead and live in your life.

Rule-ality #1: You are not exempt, above, or excluded from your own rules.

Rule-ality #2: You are required, obligated, and expected to follow the rules you have set for others.

  • If you tell your children to respect their elders, you cannot call your boss an idiot!
  • If you tell your children they are to obey the driving laws, you cannot blast through a red yellow light because you are running late!
  • If you tell your children that drugs are evil, be careful how you manage your own alcohol consumption!
  • If you tell your children they cannot lie, then you have to stop saying “don’t tell mom (dad)”!

You get the idea! Our children don’t listen to us. They do not need to. They only need to watch us. How we abide by the rules we set for them and those that are set for us, provides them all the information they need for creating their own standards.

You desire for others to be more responsible in their lives, yet you continue to be less responsible for how you manage yours. There is always a reason why you are exempt from the rules you don’t like; yet, others are not as easily exempted from honoring the rules you believe must to be honored.

The standard is the rules — like them or not. Don’t like them, then change them. Don’t like them, you must honor them anyway. Don’t like them, respect them until they are eliminated or improved. Set the standard. Be the standard — you have other option.

Your kids, your neighbors, your friends, your co-workers and your employees are all watching. If you don’t want this level of responsibility, too bad — you are the one that started demanding and expecting something from someone else. You created a standard. Now you have become a standard bearer of integrity and leadership to your own rules. Congratulations and enjoy!!

Filed Under: Embrace Responsibility, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: , , ,

The fix begins with you!!

October 9, 2025 by Leave a Comment

We are ALL members of a very large, diverse, and complex community — the human race. It is unfortunate that we have become so fragmented by ego, hate, fear, despair, judgement and anger. The situation is rapidly becoming more intense and unstable. Even more frustrating is that it seems there isn’t anyone capable of or willing to rising above the choas and guide us through this mess.

It is okay — we don’t need them!!

The only force capable of changing what is destroying and dividing us is ourselves.

The end to this insanity starts with you and me!!

Avoid engaging in actions, comments, behaviors, and decisions that reflect an adverse, disruptive, disrespectful emotional response to the situation.

Why fan the flames of adversity with negative, disrespectful, hurtful comments? What problem does it solve?

Do you honestly believe you are the only one upset, frustrated, disappointed, or angry about the situations we find ourselves in?

What problem does blame, name calling, and finger pointing solve?

You are not alone.

While we do not have the answers yet, they will not be found, discovered, or created by alienating the only people that can help you solve the crisis. The frustrated, disappointed, and angry people standing on the opposite side of the street as you are the only ones who can help you get to a peaceful, intelligent, and sustainable solution. They are just as frustrated, confused, disappointed, and angry as you!

The time has come for each of us, in our everyday lives, to declare that we are and will be committed to bringing superior emotions — love, joy, peace, encouragement, and gentleness — to our world every single day!!

Instead of dividing, judging, hating, or disrespecting be a positive, loving, peaceful, and gentle inspiration to everyone in your world — even the ones you don’t understand.

The lives you touch will be inspired. Only in a state of inspired collaboration can we create a movement of understanding and change.

The first step requires releasing the desire to be right and begin to embrace a commitment to collaborate to find a solution. Standing on the corner screaming out the answer does nothing.

Working in collaboration to discover a solution actually solves problems.

Change begins with me. I am committed to loving, understanding, encouraging, supporting, and listening. Along the way, I hope to learn and discover perspectives and opportunities for change that I did not previously understand were possible. I look forward to the interaction and the experience. Go in peace and give your love to the world!

 

Filed Under: featured, Giving Love Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Knock it off!!!

September 24, 2025 by Leave a Comment

“You cannot fix what you don’t understand”

There are a lot of opinions, thoughts, ideas, and answers tossed around about solving any one of the many problems in our society. Economic issues, international crisis, political gamesmanship make up of a few of these active problems. The irony in these challenges are that far too many people act as though the answer to a very complex problem is simple — “all they need to do is…”

If all “they” needed to do was as simple as that, it would have been done. The problem is that these simple answers exist in the realm of a single perspective dimension - ”as I see it, the answer is simple.”

Thank goodness you are the only one who sees simplicity in the problem. Lucky for you, the other 300 million people that exist in this country have no valid or credible perspective, intellect, knowledge, insight, thought, opinion or point of view on the subject. It is fortunate for us that because of what you believe, how you were raised, where you grew up, what you stand for, and where you studied you are officially much more qualified to express the correct opinion than everyone else.

Thank goodness for you. I was just starting to believe there was no hope and we were lost as a country until you showed up with all the right answers and just in the nick of time. Whew!

Reality check! You are not automatically correct just because. You are not the only one with a right to a perspective or opinion. And, your opinion only counts once — it is not weighted, of greater significance or value, and is not any more correct than the opinion of any other human being! There is no such thing as a simple answer to a complex issue.

Take a break from your judgement filled, fear driven, ego based thought process. Completely erase all prejudice, fear, and predisposed biases and take time to learn, understand, and examine the problem — ANY PROBLEM — from all perspectives, all viewpoints, and all potential solutions. Once your research is complete, from that same state of mind, share with me your very basic, simple, and easy plan for solving some of the world’s most complex problems. I bet your perspective will change and the answer will not be quite as clear or simple as you originally believed.

While you are at it, please take a break from calling any of our political leaders names or posting degrading commentary about them. Treat them with respect and dignity. Regardless how you view the way they represent their position, it is considered appropriate to treat the position, hence the person in it, with the proper respect and dignity.

There is far too much hate, judgement, fear, anger, disrespect, and ignorance in our world already. If you are interested in solving the world’s problems — and you must be interested since you are constantly expressing your opinion about what “should” be done — rise above the noise of the masses and be a thought leader. Be the person that takes the lead in exploring and collaborating to find the answer — that alone would create incredible change!

 

 

Filed Under: Practice Humility Tagged With: ,

Inspiration — Helping Others See The Finish Line

May 30, 2025 by Leave a Comment

The following is an excerpt from the 100Pedals Workshop — The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership.

If you’re going to inspire me to follow you what does crossing the finish line look like?

I don’t care that you’re going to give me a medal. Emotionally, spiritually, physically — what am I feel when I cross that finish line.

Exhilaration, joy, crying? Am I going to have a bunch of people cheering with a band playing and celebrating. Tell me what it [success] looks like so I have a vision of the outcome. Because if I don’t have a vision I can’t do this.

You can put as many bricks in the bag. You can ask me to carry them, and I’ll carry them for a while; but, those bricks are going to get heavier every day. I’ll carry as many as you need me to give, as long as I know what’s in it for me emotionally, spiritually, physically. What does “getting there” mean?

We can hatch all the business plans we want. If we don’t inspire other people to follow us — so what?

 

Filed Under: Focusing On Your Vision, Inspirational Perspectives Tagged With: , , , , ,

Be The Leader You Are

January 28, 2026 by Leave a Comment

“There are leaders and there are those who lead. Leaders hold a position of a power or authority, but those who lead inspire us… we follow those who lead not because we have to, but because we want to.” ~ Simon Sinek

My perspective: We do not need permission or approval to lead. Our ability to lead is defined by our humble, passionate commitment to what inspires, drives, and guides us. People follow us because of our contagious, loving enthusiasm for what we believe in and for what we desire in our life and in the lives of those we touch. Leadership can occur anywhere and at anytime. Leadership is not defined by how big, strong, powerful or even how influential you are. Rather, it occurs when your excitement, your energy, and your inner peace is attractive, engaging, and inspiring to others. When you live in humble, committed and authentic passion to what drives, inspires, and guides you on a daily basis – you are living the life of a leader!

A commitment for your consideration: I will embrace the opportunity be a humble and passionate leader, consistent to the values that drives, guides, and inspires me, and in complete commitment to the vision I have defined for my life.

Filed Under: Practice Humility Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,